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What IF

What IF?

What if you would finally love and accept yourself?
What if you would discover that you are beautiful?
What if you would know that you are perfect the way you are?
What if you would know you are worthy?
What if you would know there is not wrong or right, only different?
What if you would stop comparing yourself?
What if you would concentrate on your own passion, strength, love, great feelings?
What if you would give up any kind of judgment?
What if you would stop watching TV and bad News?
What if you would start to life your own life?
What if you would discover that you are capable of better and deeper relationships due to self-love?
What if you make sure to take care of yourself first because only then you are able to give?
What if you knew you can change the world by changing you?
What if you would know that you are the creator of your life?
What if you could feel happy, content, love, bliss, inner peace most of the time or all of the time?
WHAT IF?

During my coaching training about 4 years ago I had a huge AHA-Moment that changed my life and changed the world around me.

We learned about the REISS-Profile and of cause took it as well.
(Here is the definition from the website at the end of this text: Basic desires are fundamental psychological impulses that define an adult’s personality. Professor Reiss identified 16 fundamental aspects of motivation which capture what any one individual is striving for and what is really important to him or her. The Reiss Profile® provided a tool with which basic desires can be captured on an individual level. You can check out more on: http://www.reissprofile.eu/basicdesire)
When I received the results of my profile I started to understand myself better.
But the big realization was

THAT I understood that there is no good or bad or wrong or right.

People are wired in a certain way. There are scales and if you are in relation with someone on the other side of the scale you need to put a LOT of effort and energy in to meet the other person’s need or you both have to put in a lot of energy to meet somewhere along the way.

Let me give you one example: I know a couple that lived together. He loved his things tidy. Everything had a space and was “in order”. She had her things “in order” as well, but on a totally different level. For him to accept and tolerate his perceived chaos was very difficult and took a lot of energy.
For her it was very difficult and took a lot of energy to get things in the order he liked them to be. So both invested a lot of energy on this matter and of cause it was a point that was discussed on a regular base and argued, which was never great for the relationship.
What both did not know and did not feel was the fact that the other person did not want to irritate or offend them. It was “just” the way the other person was wired. So instead of having these discussions it would be wise to know yourself and when entering a relation, check where the other person is and if you could live with that.
If already in a relation it would be good to let go of all bad feelings, because no one wants to harm you and you can let go of the tension.

This is only a small example, but I see it over and over again, that people do not feel loved and understood and the blame each other.

What you need to do is to understand there is no wrong or right, there only IS.

If you can let go of all the tension you will feel a great relieve and you can actually go back to you and you do not need to be busy with the other person. You can get clarity of what you want, what feels good for you and you can go and get it.

If you love and accept yourself you are FREE of the permanent approval of other people. You can stop being a people pleaser.

I decided that other peoples thinking of and about me is “their problem”. Don’t get me wrong, I like to be loved and liked, but I am also fine if not, since I am my own source of love.
If I give love, I will be loved. But to give love I need to love myself.

Self-love is the KEY.

It is how you react to situations, how you feel about. It all starts with you.
So when Mahatma Gandhi said: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I am sure he meant: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.

Because
hurt people hurt other people
and
happy people make people happy.

Have a fantastic and inspired day! Be your change and don’t forget:

Stop JUST dreaming, act NOW!

Love,
Christine

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