July 14

Time to get vulnerable, time to share.


Time to get vulnerable, time to share.

I am sitting here on my balcony at the hotel, it is already 1PM and I my brain still feels empty. I journaled this morning at Cathedral Rock and I journaled some more when I came back to my room. Totally exhausted due to the fact that I was not equipped for such a climb into the mountain.
I do not have any tracking shoes or cloth. But I did it anyways! I did it and I am proud of myself. It was totally exhausting and also very rewarding. Getting up at 5am to be at the top at around 6am. I still missed the first sun beams cause I was too late. But anyways.

I did it! Like always. I just do stuff. I felt like giving up on my way and then I kept pushing. My will was so strong and my body was just not. Note to self, when do I finally work out each day, let go of the extra fat my body doesn’t need and create the body that is hiding under what is now?
Question to work on: What is holding me back and what do I fear if I have that freaking hot and strong body I dream of?

I feel like I am not focused enough. The feeling of wanting to be in control got back to me this morning. The masculine energies are speaking inside of me of what I should do, how I should be structure. It feels like a little inner battle right now. My brain doesn’t function they way I want him too. My inner team goes crazy between let it flow, get organized, build your biz, you are behind on every single program you have paid for, you are not getting the value and yet I know I did get the value when I signing up.

I feel strong and I feel weak at the same time!
I feel and know that everything is fine, just the way it is and yet my darn ego speaks up. It is in my ear telling me to push, to work, to sell, to win, to have CONTROL!

Grrrrr, this freaking control thing! I so know and feel that I need to let go and I feel trapped. Trapped in patterns, trapped in a believe system, trapped to reach my goals and dreams faster because I see time passing by so fast and on the 26th I am back at work on my desk and I freak out inside because I think I have to get more out of my trip. I want it all now.

Two forces not going hand in hand, not complimenting each other!

How can I stop my brain?

I want to let go of “musts” and “shoulds” and I know I will. It feels like I am getting momentum while typing it out.

To know I need to let go, I need to share with you, I need to show up, I want to lead and inspire because I know that is what I was made for.

It has always been that way.

We can all achieve everything if we allow ourselves to just be.
To be who we are at our core. To be in the moment. To be in the now. To enjoy each moment. To be totally present, awake and aware. When I was finally sitting at this sacred place at Cathedral Rock that I longed to go to quite some time and I meditated and I tried to be empty, I tried to listen, to go within to be with mother earth, to enjoy the beauty, to feel the wind caressing my face, to feel my breath, to just be, to allow myself to receive and be a vessel, pure bliss- a moment of peace of knowing, a glimpse of having it all at that moment, pure bliss surrounded by absolute beauty.
I know I can create my life. And I know you can too!
We all are here to wake up. We have it all inside of us, we only need to remember.

Remember that you are Masterpiece.

Stop JUST dreaming, act NOW!


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