Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 177 with the amazing Jill Stanton.

Jill Stanton [0:08]
Hey, this is Jill Stanton and you’re listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski, enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:13]
I’m super excited to have the conversation today with Jill, Don’t Sell. Suggest! Because Jill has an amazing sales success story from being frustrated not knowing how to sell into selling in her business like crazy. She’s super successful as a co-founder of the Screw The Nine To Five that she runs with her husband, Josh. They help unsatisfied employees to transform into dangerously successful entrepreneurs so that they can work whenever they want and from wherever they want. Jill is also a new mom. has an inappropriate love for trashy tv and isn’t afraid of a tall glass of gin. So let’s go dive right in with the wonderful, Jill Stanton. I am so super excited to have you here, Jill. Welcome.

Jill Stanton [1:07]
Thank you so much for having me. I’m so pumped to dive in with you.

Christine Schlonski [1:10]
I know. I was so looking forward to this because you have achieved so much and just you know, Screw The Nine To Five so resonates not just with me with tons and tons of people, and you have a wonderful podcast and you do amazing stuff. So let’s just take people on that little journey. Because I have a lot of people in the audience who are fearful of selling and sales as the backbone of a business to do all the other amazing stuff in their lives. I would kind of love to take them on the journey, like how you started out and how it was for you to make sales in the beginning.

Jill Stanton [1:55]
Yeah, terrible. I was really bad at it. So Josh and I actually had our own respective businesses before we started one together. I had a social media management company, and he had a software company. And around the same time as each other kind of late 2011, we were each getting just disenchanted with our businesses. And Josh said to me, like, “We should start a site together.” And I was like, “Yes, totally down”, because I was working, nonstop trading dollars for hours managing all these clients. And he was running the software company and just making all this money with barely working, and I was just like, “What am I doing wrong here?” So when he suggested that I was all in and he was like, “I think we should start a skincare affiliate site.” I was like, “Yes, absolutely. Pause. What’s an affiliate site?” I was so green. I was so green in this world. And he really was my first real mentor. My first real teacher. He taught me the ropes. He taught me how to write for the web and how to get track traffic and how to build an audience and how to just the basics of SEO. And I mean, he just really held my hand through that whole thing. And I just, it was like, like, he threw me in the lion’s den. He threw me in the deep end, and I had to learn how to swim. And it was the year we’re getting married, that we started our business together. So like, never do that. Because it’s good to say that’s it just gets really real that year. But we made it through and I remember we were on our balcony on our wedding week, which was in Costa Rica, and we’re getting ready to welcome our guests the next day. And so we’re having a drink, or two or three. And we were getting ready to move to Thailand because our business had grown to the place where we could support ourselves financially with it, and so could live anywhere really. And Thailand had this big hotspot for entrepreneurs, digital entrepreneurs, and so we were making the move over to Thailand. A few months after our wedding week and Josh was like, we should totally start a site and share the story with people because we’re getting a lot of questions at that time. Like, what are you guys doing for money? Like, are you working? Are you drug dealers? What’s happening? And so I was like, “Yeah, that’s a great idea. Then I can like, send it to my parents, and they can watch our adventures and all this kind of stuff.” And he was like, “What would we call it though?” And thanks to Costa Rican rum, I was like, “Screw the nine to five!” And both of us were like, “I wonder if that’s available.” And we registered it and us just kind of sat on it because we had no clue how to run a personal brand. Up until that point, we had only had affiliate sites, which are very much, they were very faceless. Like we weren’t the face or the name behind it. And so we kind of struggled that first year, had our first launch sold zero. So when I say I struggled with sales, I really mean it. First sale made zero dollars and I ugly cried for like a whole day straight. I felt so humiliated and like that, I just wasn’t cut out for this thing. But it was actually the best thing that could have ever happened to us because it really made us take this left turn and start teaching what we know. And at that time, it was affiliate marketing. And from there, everything started to roll for us. Because we could just kind of show up, share as much knowledge as we possibly could. And then when we finally had an offer that made sense for people, we just promoted the hell out of it. We just made sure our entire audience knew what it was all about. The kind of benefits that would give to their lives, the results they would see from it. And it just like, we went all in, was I scared? Yes, I was very scared by that first launch. And then I think that kind of infiltrated my mindset around sales for a good few years, just feeling sheepish around it but just kind of cowgirl up and realize that if I didn’t figure this piece out of the business, we wouldn’t have a business for long. And so it’s kind of funny the world of sales, it’s so emotional for most people. And yet, it’s one of the most powerful things you can do for your audience.

Christine Schlonski [6:16]
I love that you just said that. Because it’s so true. Once you figured out that piece, you basically can do anything.

Jill Stanton [6:24]
Yes. I love, I also take it. I kind of take the approach with it. It’s not, I’m not there to like sell, I suggest. I don’t sell I suggest. I suggest things that I think are great fits for people. Our revenue model at this current moment is affiliate marketing inside Screw The Nine To Five and so I just shine a light on the people, products, programs, services, and tools we use like and believe in. And it just feels really effortless now to sell in that manner.

Christine Schlonski [6:55]
Yeah, that’s wonderful. Yeah, I thought I was talking about invitations, especially if you do have the service that you create yourself like maybe coaching or healing work, then it’s another game, right? Because you have to put a value on things. When you’re an affiliate, you know what you have to charge otherwise it’s not working out. I love that you said that you learned it and that you would now embody it and it doesn’t feel icky or sleazy or pushy.

Jill Stanton [7:27]
No, never feels pushy or sip, like, I never feel pushy or icky around it. I still get in my head like, “Oh, what if this doesn’t work?”, but I’ve learned to manage those thoughts. I’ve learned to catch those thoughts and, and cancel them really. And then create new beliefs from there that are supportive and empowering and in support of what I want to actually achieve. Yeah, and I think just viewing selling as just an exchange of value has been a big one for me.

Christine Schlonski [7:59]
Yeah. Love it. Love it. Yeah, you guys. I discovered you actually when listening to Amy Porterfield podcast a while ago.

Jill Stanton [8:10]
I have a new episode with her coming out this week actually. So I’m excited about that one.

Christine Schlonski [8:13]
So that’s your 4th one right?

Jill Stanton [8:15]
4th one, yeah. I just don’t go away. I’m like a bad smell.

Christine Schlonski [8:19]
I can’t wait for it to come out. What you talked about that episode was also like the tribe building because you managed, you really have this big tribe. People are so excited to be around you. So how can somebody who starts out like maybe rather than you or just has a small following, how can they get that kind of hype?

Jill Stanton [8:45]
I truly believe especially if you’re just starting out, free Facebook groups can be your secret weapon and like having one for your business. Now, the caveat to that is you have to be open to managing a community. They’re time. They require time and effort and energy and presence. But if that’s in your wheelhouse, and you really do want to connect with your people, the people in your audience and get in front of new ones, and really create a space where you get to know your audience and build this troupe of believers, I really, really believe that Facebook groups are one of the easiest ways to do that. I think that was a big catalyst for this breakthrough year, we had kind of around 2016 where our group just blew up, our brand blew up. I really believe that brand awareness came from that Facebook group.

Christine Schlonski [9:41]
Yeah, wow. So what are the first steps? I mean, just okay, opening up a Facebook group, but how do I get people in without just adding them so they don’t get mad at me?

Jill Stanton [9:50]
Yeah, fair. Don’t do that. One, we did a few things. One, we mentioned it in all of our content in our podcast show notes, we had an intro on our pocket, or maybe it was an outro on our podcast to get people into the group. Anytime I did other interviews for other people shows, I was constantly pushing people to that group. Any features or guest posts I wrote, it was all going to that group like it was our single focus at that point. And so it became the kind of a catch-all for us. And so anything we did, any kind of attention, we had funneled into that group, and we had a tab on our website, like on our header bar just said free Facebook group or free FB group. In our emails, once you joined our list, it was like, “Come hang with us in our free Facebook group.” And we invited people to invite their friends in like we made it a community effort, but outside of that, like, yes, the growing piece is, I actually think it’s a lot easier than people think it is. I think the engagement piece is where people trip up because they think, “Okay, great. All I have to do is get people in and then I’m killing the game.” That’s not how it works at all. Really, you have to get to know people, you have to give them your time, you have to have conversations with them. One thing I really took seriously when I started my first free group in 2015, as I tried to get to know as many of our members as we possibly could, so that when new people came into the group, and they’re like, “Hey, screwp’s, I’m so and so. I’m Christine. And I am interested in selling”, I’d be like, “Christine, you should definitely chat with my girl, Jazz Warmer because she’s all about sales as well. You guys would have a great connection”, and I would just link people up. And so even now that we’ve closed down those groups, I still see so many friendships, partnerships, relationships, like people start dating. Because of Screw The Nine To Five, I see so many of those friendships and relationships in general, still active and alive and growing, but started inside that group and that’s just like one of the best coolest feelings.

Christine Schlonski [10:45]
Yeah, that’s so awesome. Yeah, I mean, like, just creating, it’s really community creating. I think, you know, there’s a saying hurt people, hurt people and I always say, “A happy people make people happy.”

Jill Stanton [12:05]
I love that.

Christine Schlonski [12:13]
Yeah. With the right connection. I mean, you never know, people might get married.

Jill Stanton [12:19]
We had two when we add our paid community, we had two people start dating in there and it was so cute. I was like, #ScrewLove. But it’s just cool what happens when you put yourself out there and you open yourself up to be on kind of this, just this rad place that people can hang out online.

Christine Schlonski [12:41]
Yeah. What I’m guessing a question that probably the audience is asking now is, “Okay, so I get to know them, but how do I get to know them? They don’t respond to my posts. I only get three or four likes”, at the beginning it doesn’t really take off. Do you have any advice about what you do like, did you offer like, introduction calls? Or did you do a lot of Facebook Live? Or probably not back then?

Jill Stanton [13:08]
Yeah, I don’t even think Facebook lives as a thing back in 2015. I think it started in 2016. But I honest to God asked questions a lot. And I shared my own story. And I was open and honest. And I did a lot of the talking first. I didn’t expect, you know, my first hundred people to be like, “Oh, great, can’t wait to chat up with the storm. Thanks! Don’t need you anymore.” It takes leadership. You’re a leader of a community. And if you take that seriously, you’ll stay committed to figuring out how to build the engagement. And also, maybe you just messaged it wrong or positioned it wrong or you got the wrong people in there. You can hit the reset button on that kind of stuff. You can start looking for people who are perfectly aligned with what you want to say in that group. You can start creating a community people, I think just people make it too hard because they’re looking for quick wins. And I totally understand that. But also realize that the community takes time. People have to know like and trust you, and they have to feel comfortable speaking up in a group and sharing stuff that might feel very vulnerable to them. You setting that example and you going first is one of the best ways that you can just set the stage for people to open up and start engaging.

Christine Schlonski [14:22]
Yeah, totally agree. Being honest and authentic is think is such a big piece in everything you do. And I see that in sales over and over again. That’s why people also fearful of sales because they think they have to become this other person. They think they have to become the next Wolf of Wall Street or, like whatever other sales movies out there, and they don’t want to identify these characters. So they make it really difficult for themselves to just show up and be themselves and make an invitation or an offer or suggestion.

Jill Stanton [15:00]
Well, and I think that a lot of people get caught up in the fear of judgment. Like, “Oh, what will people think of me? Oh, what will people say about me? What will people, will people troll me? Are people going to say mean things about me?” But when you really shift that focus away from yourself and to your community and the people that you were actually meant to serve, that stuff bothers you less and truthfully, I mean, you get knocked down a few times and you pick yourself back up that like those wounds start to, I mean, this is the most disgusting analogy but it’s like a scab. I don’t even want to say. It’s like a callous. It gets stronger over time. You build up a thicker skin over time. I’ve been called the worst things like but as you said, hurt people hurt people. I know that zero successful, happy people are judging me for how I built my business. They’re not trolling me. They’re not making judgments or talking about me behind their back, my back, they’ve got their own thing going on, they’re happy, like, they don’t need to sit there and tear me down to build themselves up. And so I just take stock of who’s the one doing the judging. And if that person is miserable in their life, then I do not give any F’s about what they have to say, because they are not on the same level as me and I’m sitting there trying to make my life better. And they’re sitting there complaining, trying to tear people down just to build themselves up. And I want none of that. So I really take stock of who I’m actually taking criticism or feedback from, and then make a judgment call as to whether I want to listen to it or not.

Christine Schlonski [16:39]
Yeah, yeah, that’s such great advice. So don’t get caught up in somebody else’s trauma or story, just whatever they say. It’s their point of view. It’s probably not yours.

Jill Stanton [16:52]
Most definitely.

Christine Schlonski [16:55]
So and then, you know, if it doesn’t resonate at all, I’d be this, “No way! Why you really should very about it?” I mean, I think but

Jill Stanton [17:07]
You feel embarrassed or like you got called out. But again, you just have to take stock of who’s the one calling you out? Chances are, they’re really miserable or sad or dissatisfied with their life. And so you have to see where that hate and that venom is coming from and then realize it has nothing to do with you. And everything to do with them. Even the people who love you, that has nothing to do with you either. It has everything to do with them. If people love you, and they’re like, “Oh my god, you change my life.” Or they’re like, “Hey, hey, yeah”, both of those instances are all about them. If you keep that in mind, and you are unfazed by the love and unfazed by the hate, then you live a really happy life.

Christine Schlonski [18:00]
Yeah, because you decide at the end like how do you take it in and do take it at all.

Jill Stanton [18:06]
Your self worth is not determined by other people’s thoughts about you. I think that’s like, your, I always think the aim is to get to self-approval, right, like approving of yourself and feeling happy with yourself No matter what, regardless of if other people approve of you. That’s like pure bliss, not needing someone else’s approval. I think that entrepreneurs, people in general really get tied up in these two big fears, approval or need for approval and need for control. When you just realized that a lot of that stems from that you can start to work through that, process it and release it so that you can have self-approval, and realize that you’re in control of how you think, feel and react to things and that’s about it.

Christine Schlonski [18:51]
Yeah, totally agree. So you seem so very confident right now. Has it always been this way? Or was this a process?

Jill Stanton [19:00]
No. Incorrect. I think by keeping a lot of promises to myself, I’ve built up confidence. By doing things that feel hard and waiting through that uncertainty and coming up the other side of it. That’s built my confidence over the years. I’ve been at this nearly eight years, you know, I mean, 2012 Jill, a puddle, a puddle of emotion and feels like she could not handle the ups and downs as it would really take me down and out for a few days if something bad happened to our business or things weren’t going the way I thought they should. Or someone trolled me on social media. You know, I just, I didn’t have the emotional fitness at that point to be able to handle that. But now I’m just like me. I’m here doing my thing. I’m very focused. Josh and I are very focused on where we want to go and who we want to be. Who matters to us and the rest? I just try to put blinders on.

Christine Schlonski [20:04]
Yeah, screw! Oh, well, that’s awesome. What are you, like, what’s one of the goals? Like, I love that you said that you make promises to yourself. So to make promises to yourself, you have to have some kind of vision who you want to be and what you want to achieve. For people who’ve never heard that, because you know, sometimes we just never get in contact to receive options. How could you make a promise to yourself and what can you do to not talk you out of it because it’s all in your own head?

Jill Stanton [20:41]
Yeah. The best place to start is the baby promises to yourself. Like I was making micro-commitments to myself, I wasn’t being like, I’m going to start a business this year and make a million dollars. It was never like that, for me, especially recently. It’s like stop being consistent, like go move every single day. Like I’ve really tried to keep that commitment to myself. The only reason, I still went to the gym today, even though I’m sick and I didn’t work out, but I sat in the sauna to like sweat it all out. I still make the habit and keep the commitment to myself to actually walk in the doors of the gym every single day. And it doesn’t even have to be going to the gym, it could be drinking a giant glass of water, lemon and salt each morning so that you hydrate yourself and you feel better or read every day or have five minutes of stillness or, you know, make it a promise to yourself to start catching yourself when you start thinking crappy thoughts about yourself because you’ll know when you’re in that mode because you feel really heavy. I think that’s my body’s alarm system to alert me that my thoughts are off, like when I start to feel really crappy about myself or circumstances that are out of my control. I check in with myself. I’m like, “Oh, I’m feeling really low vibe right now what’s going on? What am I thinking? What am I feeling?” And then I catch those thoughts so that I can be aware of what I’m thinking. I legit say to myself, like a weirdo, cancel, I say out loud, but cancel new, I am not saying cancel. And then I start creating my new beliefs. It’s just been a promise that or an intention really, that I set. Early 2018 really, when I feel like I hit my rock bottom, and I had nowhere else to go, but up. And I just started making micro-commitments to myself, I want to have a green smoothie every day. Now, do I always hit that? No, certainly not with a baby. But I just try my damnedest to keep my commitments to myself, keep my promises to myself. And I feel like if you can truly do that, even if just for 30 days, right, just make a micro commitment to yourself for 30 days, and smash that then you’re going to have this momentum behind you’re gonna be like damn actually did that was another thing I could do. You just baby step it.

Christine Schlonski [23:05]
Yeah. Love it. I’d love to talk to you more about that. But unfortunately, we’re running out of time and I’m so happy we have another interview. Where can we send people? Obviously, to your amazing podcast. And then to your websites, so let us know.

Jill Stanton [23:22]
Yeah, please https://www.screwtheninetofive.com/ all spelled out, no numbers is our digital home base. And our podcast is over at the https://www.screwtheninetofive.com/podcast/. It sounds like porn, but it’s not. It’s business and entrepreneurship.

Christine Schlonski [23:37]
Yeah, it’s amazing. So thank you so, so much for spending time with us today. And I’m really looking forward to the next episode.

Jill Stanton [23:45]
Me too. Thanks for having me.

Christine Schlonski [23:47]
Thank you. Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode. And it’s so true what Jill says, it’s not selling, it’s suggesting and as I always say it’s inviting. So if you have your own service or you ask selling for someone you’re recommending products. It’s all about how you back that up with your own energy, how you believe in those products and how much love you can actually share with the person you are offering this to. So make it easy for yourself to suggest, invite, have fun, come and forget about the sales, sales, sales conversations. They don’t need to be, you just need to invite and to suggest. So hope you got a ton out of this episode. Join Jill for her next one where we talk about taking small steps to really get momentum to really become that dangerously successful entrepreneur and to thrive in your business in your life. Check out Jill’s transcript, the show notes at https://christineschlonski.com/ Find the podcast tab and also you will find all the links that lead to Jill so you can connect with her. And once you’re over there, you can sign up for the empowerment notes. This is basically my weekly empowerment right into your inbox, where I share amazing things that I usually do not share on social, and where you always get an update on the latest podcast episodes and guests as well. And all you need to do is go to https://christineschlonski.com/ and sign up pretty simple. Have a wonderful day, wherever you are in this beautiful world and I’m saying bye for now.