Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hey Gorgeous! This is episode number 176. You are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast. I’m your host, Christine Schlonski. You are in for a treat today, it’s variety Friday. For the last episode of variety Friday, we actually talked about your inner critic. We talked about how this little tiny voice can really get you down. At times where it’s not really serving you at all, and how you can actually be aware of it and tweak it. So obviously, if you have an inner critic, this author, this person within you that cheers you on. And for some of you, you have not really trained this person, this person has not really grown up in you. And so today I want to talk to you about how you can trigger positive feelings before you talk to a client or before you have a conversation that might be really important to you or like in general.

We will want to make sure that you feel great, that you have wonderful emotions. Because when you are happy, you make other people happy. And you are more called to share all the good stuff with the world when you raise your frequency, and your frequency is actually your currency. So you want to make sure that you are aligned with what you do you feel amazing. So you can give more, serve more. And if you do that, at the end of the day, you also will make more money in your business and making more money, having these resources available will also help you to even give more and also to make your dreams come true.

So here’s the thing, this little inner voice that we have not trained very well. I’m a pretty good example. Because, when I was still in high school, I went to the US for the whole year and I had an amazing, amazing host family and what they used to do like constantly. So it felt to me. They always had like, good girl. And I thought like, “Whoa, what is that?” Well, first of all, I wanted to feel like a grown-up. So good girl with 17 turning 18 over there wasn’t really wonderful to me. And then also, I wasn’t used to be cheered on all the time for little stuff that I thought was just, “Well, that’s what you do to actually get this positive feedback.” So, what I did way back, way back then, as I told my host parents I was like, “Guys, you need to stop saying good girl for everything I do. Because of a.) I’m not a girl. I’m a young adult. And I’m going to turn 18”, which in Germany, that’s the legal age to drink and drive and everything. So I was really confused. And I know that’s just the cultural thing. But what Americans and Canadians and probably all those English speaking countries do very well is they cheer people on. And other cultures have that a little bit less, and maybe some don’t have it at all. I don’t know all the cultures in the world, but I have experienced these cultural differences. And especially when it comes to you achieving things, it is really, really important that you have positive self-talk.

I know people who, when they do something wrong, they kind of cast themselves out. And I think that’s just really really wrong to do this because it’s not elevating your vibe. I don’t feel it’s a way to cheer yourself on by telling you how your tech you are. See, it’s not even coming over by lips. You know how you are not working. It’s just like, you know, it’s a learning experience. So when you have stuff that’s not working, don’t get the inner critic out. beating you up and calling you names, you want to make sure that you stop that right away in the tracks. You can say something like, “Okay, I get it. That wasn’t too good as a learning experience. So what can I learn from the situation? What can I do better next time?” So you want to focus on what you can do.

First of all, most of the time, when something is done, it’s done. You can’t change it. You can’t go back in time and behave differently. Things you said, they’re set. And there’s nothing you can do besides apologizing if it was totally wrong, and you had that learning experience. What you want to do in the future, obviously, you don’t want to make mistakes like nobody really wants to make mistakes. But you also want to have this cheerleader within you. This positive voice that is calling you out. And that makes sure that taking the next step is much easier. Because if you think to yourself that you are the biggest idiot in the world, and you call yourself names all the times, and then you have a challenging situation, why would you even start to go for your dreams and goals if the challenge is so big, and you truly believe you are not worth it. So what we need to do, and this is true for sales, especially because sales is a challenge, we talked to people we might not even know, we might ask for money that we’ve never asked for. We might create something that hasn’t been created before and that then we want to sell to give our gifts to the world, but then it kind of feels off because we don’t know how to approach it. So what you want to do in these situations, you want to train yourself, you want to make sure that you have positive feelings about yourself. You want to put yourself first.

I don’t mean that in a selfish way, which could be perceived by others as selfish, but only when your own cup is full, you can actually give and I want to be really, really clear because I did not understand that concept for a very long time. If you put yourself last and everybody before something is wrong, and it needs to change because you will give your energy away, you will give your life force away for not realizing your dreams for not giving what you could be giving by taking good care of you. And I know you’ve heard that before. But when you’re on the airplane, they tell you to put the oxygen mask first on to you before you support others. Even if it’s your own child if you put the oxygen mask on them. And in the process, you die, like you didn’t help anybody. So you want to make sure that you really train that positive voice within you, that cheerleader. You can do that. For example, every morning when you brush your teeth. look yourself in I am doing a little bit of mirror work, just sell yourself that you are beautiful, that you are smart, that you can do this, that the universe has your back, that all the forces around you will align, that the right clients will come your way, that you trust, that you surrender, that you know that you have something to give that’s amazing.

Having that kind of self-talk, you will notice over time, it will lift you up more and more and more and more. That doesn’t mean you need to become arrogant or totally out of space. It just means that you value yourself, that you own your worth. Because if you don’t do that, you cannot ask other people for their money. You cannot ask other people for their energy. You really need to start with you. It does start with them. So find ways to cheer you on. Find ways to give to you, to enjoy life much more, to maybe have rituals that you want to do like maybe meditating in the morning, or going for a walk in nature while you have positive thoughts, cheering you on, telling you what went really, really, really well. That doesn’t mean you ignore all the stuff you do wrong. But you have that positive conversation when you have a look at what went wrong. And you can ask yourself, “Okay, well, that didn’t work out. Well, actually it was pretty crappy, but what did I learn from it? How can I do this better next time? What can I do to improve? Where can I go to learn? How can I do this?” When you ask better questions, and you are more neutral to your mistakes, just in how you judge yourself, then you have a better opportunity to learn and grow much faster because beating you up is not going to help. It’s not going to change your behavior, because it’s just not positive.

So find a way to really switch into that positive person. Maybe you heard me say before, hurt people hurt people. And I always say happy people make people happy. So what kind of a person do you need to become in order to be that happy person who can make other people happy, in order to be that person that is confident in giving their gifts to the world, and then serving so much more people because they own their worth because they love themselves because they know what they desire and they go for it? Don’t you just look up to people who kind of have it all from your perspective and you wonder how they do it? Well, it all starts with self-love. It all starts with raising your own frequency and then you will attract the right clients, you will attract the right opportunities you will attract the fun and joy in your life, you will be open for amazing ideas for flow for joy for bliss. And that leads to more. Right like attracts like. So who do you want to be? And I would really suggest that you do a self-assessment, just assessment. Just sit down, take a piece of paper and observe how is your self talk? Where do you beat yourself up? What kind of words are you using? And then you just find the opposite. What if you say to yourself, “Well, I’m so stupid. I never get that right.” Well, why don’t you change it for, “I’m really, really smart? I wonder how I can make this right. I wonder how I can make this better. What do I need to learn to get to the next step?”

I mean, do you see the difference in how the first one would just drag you down and beat you up, and the other one leaves opportunity for growth? So the task today is actually really sit down and write out at least 10 different things that you use. That you know I would not consider as good positive self-talk. Things like, “I’m too old anyway, I never get that. I’m a girl. Girls are not good at math. I will never succeed in my business”, like all of this stuff. Be really, really honest. Where are you beating yourself up? Write it down, come up with at least 10 of the things and then once you’ve written them out, transform them. Girls are very good at math. They have the same brain as guys have. If a girl can do it, a guy can do it. Everybody can do it. There is no difference. Math is easy to understand that simple, and everybody can learn it. That doesn’t mean you need to study algebra for the rest of your life. But it really means, if you tell yourself you’re bad at math, well, I can tell you asking your price, calculating your revenue, your taxes, your profits, and really understanding how you have to run your business from the number side is going to be difficult. It’s not difficult because you only need like basic math, right? So you can totally do this.

That’s basically the task. That’s my gift to you. Find the 10 things, transform them. Really practice, practice early in the morning when you get up have some first positive thought. When you brush your teeth. Practice, get as many positive thoughts as you can into those three minutes that you hopefully use to brush your teeth and then continue all day long. Whenever you feel, catch yourself having a thought that’s not uplifting you that’s kind of dragging you down. Turn it around. Thank you so much for listening, hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ for the show notes. And for all the links to connect with me and I would love to hear from you, you can always send me an email to info@christineschlonski.com. And I also want to invite you to the https://christineschlonski.com/hclgs-registration/ which is an amazing, amazing event teaching you how to find your next client in a really heart-centered way. There’s a whole curriculum. So there are the basics. We talked about organic lead generation, about paid lead generation, about lead generation through partnership, all these different models, mistakes and challenges, even legal stuff. So you will just love this and have aligned world-class experts to teach that content. And yeah, I just invite you to hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/hclgs-registration/ or https://christineschlonski.com/ and sign up. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day, wherever you are. And I’m saying bye for now.