Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hey, Gorgeous. This is episode number 173. You are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast. I’m your host, Christine Schlonski. This is the first variety Friday in 2020. So welcome, happy new year! I hope this is going to be an epic decade for you. Where you unleash and give even more of your gifts to the world. Where you have a thriving business and make your dreams come true. Because you now know how to sell yourself with ease, grace, and confidence, and sales is love for you. Let’s tune-in in today’s episode because I want to talk to you about mindset, especially about the inner critic. It’s the beginning of the year, we probably have all goals and we’re all excited about 2020, about a new decade to begin and we probably want to make some things differently than we did last year or the decade before. There are all these good intentions out there, thinking about what we can do, what we can give to the world, how the world is going to give back to us, how we going to make our dreams come true.

Christine Schlonski [1:02]
Then we start off and a little bit after we started off. There is this tiny inner voice that speaks to us in not such a nice way. This tiny little voice is the inner critic. The inner critic wants us to believe that we are not worthy enough. That we are not good enough. That we are not deserving enough. That we have not yet figured it out and who are we anyway to go for our dreams. All this comes from your belief system because we do operate from our beliefs. Oftentimes, it’s unconscious, that we sabotage ourselves.On one hand, you can say, “Well, now I’m going to give my gifts to the world”, and the next second, a little thought kicks in that says, “Well, but are they really good enough? Are my clients really getting what I think they should be getting when they work with me? Is this even important enough? Or isn’t this something anybody, everybody knows anyway?”

Christine Schlonski [2:20]
These inner critics are really, really crucial to how we conduct our lives, to what we can achieve, and what we can’t achieve. Because of the inner critic doesn’t let us pass through the doorway to our dreams, well, then we’re kind of screwed. We believe a voice that’s not even true. The good thing is, or the good news is, that we all have this inner critic. It just a question of how do we cater to this inner critic? How deeply do we believe that the inner critic is right? That we might not be worthy enough or good enough or smart enough or young enough or old enough or whatever, we just are not enough.

Christine Schlonski [3:06]
So today I want to invite you to really give this some time and thought on a continuous base to tune in and figure out where are you sabotaging yourself. Where when things might be working out really, really well you get to this upper limit. There’s a really cool book out there called, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. It’s about the upper limit. When we get to the upper limit, that we often start sabotaging ourselves so we can go back into a zoo. Into like a comfort zone, or a safety zone that we already know. Because what happens, when we start thriving, when we start picking up momentum, when we start growing and evolving, that scary oftentimes. When that inner critic kicks in letting us know that we don’t really deserve it or who are we anyway to help these beliefs, we kind of settled back down to an old standard that we know, to feelings that are familiar. Maybe we are striving in our business, but all of a sudden, in our private relationships, and maybe we start fighting with our spouse because now we have all this success and impact and more money coming in. Somehow it just doesn’t feel good. That really is subconscious. Because on a logical level, you would say, “Well, yeah, I’m looking for more impact. I’m looking to support more people. I’m looking for more money to make my dreams come true and to have more to give more, but then, when it really happens, there is this upper limit issue.” You can really, I read the book, The Big Leap. I highly recommend it. It’s a New York Times bestselling author, Gay Hendricks. Get your hands on the book, read it. I’m going to put your link in the show notes so you can check it out. It really gives you a different perspective on how you sabotage yourself. It’s pretty eye-opening, actually.

Christine Schlonski [5:19]
What can you do? Your beliefs are actually key to your success, to your success in life, to your success in sales. It’s all connected. It’s all interconnected. Y can basically believe the beliefs that don’t serve you and you will never grow. You can create new beliefs. That you start holding to be true. And you can grow into the person that holds these beliefs. What you need to know also is when you talk to your inner critic or when that voice kind of comes up to let you know that you’re not good enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not smart enough, you don’t have a degree or whatever it is. That oftentimes this belief that is not serving you has some kind of a protection function. Check-in with yourself, how is this belief actually protecting you? What is it good for? It could be that when you grow too fast, and you really go for what you want that people around you might not feel good because all of a sudden, they see you thriving, which they don’t put the work and so that doesn’t feel good for them and it triggers them.

Christine Schlonski [6:43]
Maybe people would not connect with you anymore because now you are a successful person and there’s no alignment. We all had that happen in our lives that we kind of grows out of a certain environment. That you might not be best buddies with you people from your first grade. That it could be, it could not be because you have a different life. Or you might be the one who did not, who decided not to have any children and then all of a sudden people around you have children. And the only thing they talk about is children, which there’s nothing wrong, but it’s kind of hard to you or for you to connect all the time because you might be the one choosing a different path. Relationships grow, and sometimes we grow out of relationships. The belief you might be holding, that kind of stops you in your tracks that helps you to sabotage yourself might be something that wants to protect you to not be the person losing that relationship or to not be the person losing that feeling of feeling secure or whatever it is. Have a look at what are the beliefs that might be in your way and then give them some attention. Because you just don’t want to push them away, you want to understand them. Because then you can change them, you can find a new way of seeing things, of embracing things, you can put a new belief in for that belief that’s not serving you anymore. So you have to look at your feelings. What kind of feeling is this belief causing?

Christine Schlonski [8:35]
If it’s fear, anxiety, whatever, because when we grow, obviously, there’s fear coming out with going into the unknown. We have not been there before. In the comfort zone, which I call the death zone because if we don’t grow, we die basically. There’s nothing waiting for you. It’s just, it’s all familiar. You will feel the same feelings every single day. That is not really excitement. So many people, unfortunately, are out in this beautiful world who do not have any excitement in their lives, who just do whatever they think they have to do or should be doing, instead of creating their own reality. On the other hand, we all have different experiences. Even if you go to the same movie, we experience a different movie, because we see the world through different filters and lenses. So you can choose and it’s totally okay to choose. I would invite you to choose especially I want to invite you to see sales as love because you serve.

Christine Schlonski [9:51]
What happens when you show up for people? What happens when you have that impact, that positive change in the world and you helped celebrate that? Have a look at what would you be without the belief? For example, if you think, “Well, I’m not really worthy, or I don’t have a Ph.D. in this field, or I’m too young, too old.” What’s the belief serving you? What would you be if the belief would go away? Who would you be without this belief? For example, if you would think, “Well, I don’t have the Ph.D., I can’t do it.” But you do have all the knowledge. You would just not serve and stay small in your little world. But if you say, “Well, this belief is not really serving me. I don’t need a Ph.D. other peoples don’t have PhDs and they are wildly successful. I know my stuff, I can really go for it. All my clients say that it’s amazing.” Well, then go for it. Give yourself the gift to go for your dreams. Don’t wait for somebody to give you permission because this person will never come. This person needs to be you. There will be no knight in shining armor coming and save you. We all have grown up with the Cinderella story, always a pretty woman.

Christine Schlonski [11:23]
Nobody will save you, nobody will give you permission, you have to claim that and the same in sales. You just have to ask. You have to invite them. You have to have the conversations. The more people you know, the more impact you will have, the more impact you will have or the more money you make. The more money you have, the more you can give and serve. Have a look, is this belief you’re holding that you might be too old or too young or you don’t have the certificate or whatever? Is this belief, if it’s not serving you, is it true? Is it really something that you hold true? If you say yes, well, then ask yourself, “Is it true always in any situation for anybody?” Byron Katie has beautiful work around us. Gonna see if I can find the link and also drop it in the show notes. I think the book is called, The Work. It’s really, really profound and it’s all-around working with your beliefs. Once you discover that you have a belief that’s not serving you anymore and that inner critic is creeping up behind you, and kind of bombarding you with these negative beliefs whispering that into your ear, into your brain, into your heart, and now you kind of start feeling kind of little bit fearful or afraid or you feel anxious or whatever. Really find something, write it down, write it out, figure out what this belief is serving you for. What it is protecting you from. Be really, really honest to yourself. Nobody else needs to know, just you a piece of paper and the pen will totally do. But be honest, because then you can go and change it. You really need to decide if you want to hold on to the belief, if you want to nurture it, or if you want to let go. If you want to let go, well, you’re more than welcome to let go. But that is your decision. So the next question is, what are you going to replace this belief with so that you fill that gap? By taking out the belief, it kind of creates a gap, and you need to fill the gap with something that’s serving you.

Christine Schlonski [13:53]
I really hope that’s helpful, talking about the inner critic because we do have the inner critic and we have seen a creator. At the beginning of each year, most people are really like creative energy. Because they think, “Well, this year, you know, I’m going to lose 10 pounds. And this year I’m going to work out, I’m going to be fit. And this year, I’m going to make my business work. And this is my year, this year, I’m going to go on my dream vacation, and this year, I’m going to impact so many more people.” But then after a while, the little inner critic comes out and kind of takes that energy away, kind of eats it up and makes life a little bit duller, not as exciting, a little bit sadder, a little bit more fearful, a little bit more anxious. When you look at people who are wildly successful, what they all have mastered, they all have overcome at least for a moment, that inner critic who is holding them back from what they want to achieve. If you can get rid of that inner critic and we can’t get rid of this inner critic forever, it will come back and back. So this is constant work going on. Because you don’t even know all the beliefs that are holding you back. Nobody ever will. But it’s constant work. So the more you can pull out of these old beliefs that are not serving you, and you can replace them with beliefs that the person would have, who already is, who you want to be, who already has done what you want to do, who already has what you want to have, well, then you’re on the right path of creating a life you truly desire of having the impact.

Christine Schlonski [15:45]
Oftentimes, people are so afraid of sales conversations. They’re so afraid to make that offer to make that invitation for someone to buy. They’re so afraid to really ask their price that they want to ask But then they check off a zero at the end. Then they feel frustrated because they don’t get where they want to go. They are not the person they wanted to be. This is like a vicious cycle. I really want to invite you to take a good look to write out all the limiting beliefs that you might hold in your conscious and start working with them first, replace them first, and keep digging. Imagine if you could just get rid of one or two limiting beliefs per week. That’s over 100 limiting beliefs in a whole year. Where would you be in 2021? What would have changed? How would your life be different if you would allow yourself to let go of what’s not serving you anymore?

Christine Schlonski [16:59]
I’m wishing you all the best with this work. I would love to hear from you. Just send me an email at info@christineschlonski.com. I’m going to put it in the show notes as well. And if you really feel you want to do some deeper work on this, please reach out as well. I’m happy to send you an application for a complimentary sales breakthrough session where we have a look at where you are right now, where you want to go, creating the best next move for you. And really having a look at your sales ability so that you can thrive in your business. That you can invite people to work with you with ease grace, confidence, and that you can ask your price. In the session, we will kind of see if we are a good match for each other. If I really can support you with every single sell that I have to support you and you can really get to know me in person and see if it’s a fit for you, and then we can co-create together. That journey is such a wonderful journey for those clients who really are my soulmate clients. So that’s my invitation to you, write an email to info@christineschlonski.com. You can just say, “Well, sales breakthrough session, please.” Then I’m gonna start a conversation with you by sending you the application and we take it from there.

Christine Schlonski [18:30]
In the meantime, I’m really here to invite you to the Heart-Centered Lead Generation Summit. The summit kicks off pretty soon. It’s just amazing with over 40 world-class experts, teaching world-class strategies and tools, all-around lead generation. Starting from the basics over organic, paid, partnerships, like all the ways you can create leads. You can let people know about you, your amazing work, your gift, and invite them to work with you. You do not want to miss out on that one. It’s heartcenteredleadgenerationsummit.com. Just sign up, get your seed, it’s free. You can get all the amazing advice of these world-class experts who all have overcome their inner critic at some point to be where they are right now, having created that high level of achievement in such a heart-centered way. Thank you so, so much for being here. I really appreciate you listening. Please share this podcast if you find this helpful with your friends, with your family, with your business partner, because I believe that happy people make people happy. When you really can create your own life, you will be so much happier, which then serves the world In such a beautiful way. So thank you so much. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world and I’m saying bye for now.