Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hey Gorgeous. This is episode number 172. Welcome to the year 2020 and we are having the wonderful Nina Cooke back on the show today.

Nina Cooke [0:12]
Hi, this is Nina Cooke. You are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski. Enjoy!

Christine Schlonski [0:19]
I’m super, super excited that Nina is back on the show today and we will be diving in and how you can align your message. So stay tuned and hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ for the show notes, the transcripts, all the links to connect with Nina. And you really want to listen because Nina is an amazing business mindset coach. She has already worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs who are basically frustrated because in spite of all their hard work, of all they have done so far, they still aren’t getting the results they really want to get. Nina’s superpower is showing them how they can release their deep in the blocks to gain the freedom to grow their business vision, this passion, and confidence. Nina is also the host of a wonderful podcast called, Entrepreneur’s Inner Game Podcast, and I highly recommend that you check that out as well. So let’s dive right in. Well, I’m so excited to have you back on the show today, Nina. Welcome.

Nina Cooke [1:24]
It’s great to be here, Christine.

Christine Schlonski [1:26]
Yeah, I loved our conversation. And we kind of left off with those thoughts, you know, those limiting beliefs that we are telling ourselves over and over again because we think it is our business to think about what other people think about us. And we both came to the conclusion and we realized that at some point in our lives, that once you can let go of this, your life is so much better. You don’t have that weight onto your shoulders, what your spouse might think or your parents or your friends, you can just serve the people you want to serve that need to hear your message. Because you have that special gift that only you have. With where you born, with all the experience you have, with all the training you had in your life. There is no one like, Nina. She is totally unique as well as I am. We might share the same viewpoints but still in what we do. Everybody is super, super unique and people forget that. What I would love to add and hear your opinion on is people think that if they please the people around them and they’re not serving the people who need them, they are better off and they totally forget that the people around them are probably not their perfect clients. So they would not buy from them anyway. When it comes down to business and to sales, you have to serve the right people, your soul-mate clients, as I call them. What have you experienced with your clients and on your journey, have you had like family and friends who came running buying from you?

Nina Cooke [3:26]
Well, family and friends haven’t come to buy from me, but they’ve never been to my clients. What I noticed was when I first started this business, I was writing and I was thinking more from my head. And I had this fear about what will people think. Will people think I’m too whoo, whoo. Will people get what I’m talking about? And so I would write my emails and then I would write in to make sure my grammar is okay and I was trying to make it very talented. for business owners, and talking about income and sales and all of those things and missing out the bit that I really wanted to talk about, which was their thinking and their limiting beliefs, and how this was the actual core of what was stopping them from having a business they absolutely loved. When I started listening more to my heart and allowed myself to stop writing from my head, start writing from my heart and really give out the message I wanted to give. I started engaging many more people, I started getting more strategy sessions, and I started signing up more clients. So I have proof that when you’re doing your business from your head and doing it from the perspective of this is what people expect from me, then you’re not going to necessarily get that breakthrough you’re looking for. It’s going to feel like a slog, and you may not love your business, it may feel really, really hard work. But when you flip that switch, anything, “Okay, what do I really want to say? What is my true message? If I had 10 minutes to say what I truly believe about my service, what is the message I would give out?” Then that is what you can start talking about and let it come from your heart. And don’t worry about what people are going to say. Because as we’ve already said, you don’t know what people are going to say. They’re thinking is their business. They don’t please everyone, not everyone wants what they’ve got. That’s fine, that’s good. Just focus on what you want to say. So another way of doing this is saying you had all the money that you wanted, you never had to earn another penny. What message would you put out there in the world if you never had to worry about signing up another client? What would you really want to bring across? How can you help someone? I do believe that on all our marketing and our messages, the reader and listener pick up on when we’re in alignment, and when we’re out of alignment, and it really truly resonates when you are speaking from your heart. And I’ve had this experience so many times I know that when I’ve had sales conversations, and I’ve completely put the script to one side, and I am engaged 100% with a prospect, and I’m curious, really curious about where their thinking is coming from, why they believe that they’re not good enough, why they believe that they can’t raise their prices, why they believe this is scary to be visible, when I really engaged truly with them. And I completely detach from the result of that conversation and I’m just they’re on the same side of, sometimes we feel that the prospect is standing on one side of the chasm, we’re on the other side of the chasm when I swing across to their side of the chasm. That’s when we build a really deep rapport and that’s the I’m often surprised when they say, “Yes, I’d like to work with you.” That is completely removing what the other person is thinking about you. Getting away from that and just stepping into your expertise, and how you can truly serve that person. And that comes with you’re in a sales conversation, whether you’re writing a blog post, creating a training a video, whatever it is, that’s when it truly works. And another example I have at this is I did a three-part training for my dear friend for his community. And I had my slides on the screen, and I also had some notes. And I realized that I couldn’t, I couldn’t go from my slideshow to my notes. I had to do off the top of my head. So he thought, “Oh, my God, I’ve just got my slides. I don’t want much on my slides. And mostly they’re just pictures. I’m not going to remember everything I want to see from the slides”, and I gave the training, and it was truly from my heart and I was so engaged. I got such a great response from that training. And it showed me that actually, I know everything I need to know, I don’t actually need the notes to help me. And it really, I felt inspired when I was giving that training says trusting yourself is trusting yourself, you know your stuff. And trusting yourself that when you start talking more from your heart, the words will come. The energy is there, and people will hear.

Christine Schlonski [8:30]
Yes, so agree. So you mentioned a couple of times already that often people feel like they are the fraud. Especially with what you just said, with trust yourself, I feel that goes well together. What advice would you have for somebody who maybe it’s not that long in the business, they don’t have to serve that many people that they have the confidence and the confirmation that people say, “Oh my goodness, your services are amazing.” When I started out in my business, I did not have any testimonials. Then I started to collect testimonials. And often it was like, “Wow!”, I didn’t even realize that I did not just give them this piece, but also this and this and this. I’m maybe having a day where I don’t feel that confident, or when something happens, I can just go back to those testimonials and listen to those people that I help them to transform their world. There’s nothing better when people say like, “All I can say is wow. Or you changed my life.” It’s not just nice for the ego, that’s one part. But it also gets you out of that funk when you try to talk yourself in then what you do is maybe not good enough. Or maybe you’re not worthy enough or when you feel like a fraud because you’re trying something new you’ve never been there before. So you don’t have to results in yet. What can people do to get out of their own way and to really step into that confidence?

Nina Cooke [10:10]
Yeah, that’s a really, really great question because so many entrepreneurs suffer from this. I feel like a fraud syndrome. You mentioned something really important, the evidence. When you’re starting out, you may not have a lot of evidence, but every piece of evidence you have that you help someone, they give you a testimonial. That is all, you need to bank all of this. And make sure that you’re looking at this and going back to it whenever you need to. The problem with limiting beliefs is, for example, if anyone has a limiting belief, I’m a fraud, you keep collecting evidence to support that belief. If you feel like a fraud, you’re going to say, “Well, that time that I didn’t get the result for that client, or someone said no to working with me. All of this is more evidence that I’m a fraud.” So we need to just turn that around and look in the opposite direction because all the evidence that you are an expert is always, is also there. Now you need to shift your focus to that evidence. Another thing is to know that you know more than your client, and that’s why you can help them. Even if you’re a couple of steps ahead of them. You still know more. This is really, really important to keep in mind because sometimes you can think, “Well, I used to more training. I don’t know enough yet. I’m not competent”, and all of these other limiting beliefs, as long as you know more than your client, then you can help them. When you bring your service to the table, no you’re not just offering your six-month program. You’re also offering all the training, all the years of training that you’ve done, all the investment you’ve made in yourself, your years of experience, you’re bringing all of that to the table as well. And that is priceless. And that’s when you really see the value of what you have to offer. So keep all of that in mind as well. When I offer my service, I’m not just saying, “I’ve got a 12-month program for you.” I’m giving them years of experience, the hundreds of clients that I’ve worked with. How many times I have solved these problems for people, and all the training and learning which I’m constantly doing, I’m bringing all of that to the table as well. That is of huge value and everyone has that as well. And finally, I’d say about this is, don’t take it too seriously. We are here to play a game of life. We’re not here to get bogged down, feel overwhelmed, stressed. That’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to enjoy it. And sometimes I look at it like that as a big fanfare. And there were lots of rides on this one fair and one of the rides is our business. And we get to enjoy that ride. We get learnings from it. We have huge successes. We have some setbacks, but guess what? It’s a game and we’re here to play fallout. We’re all here to hideaway. Take some more action. Be limited in what we do. Say no to opportunities. We are here to play full out and let’s just play this game. And yeah, we want to work amazing pines, we want enough income. We want lots of free time. We want to have a work-life balance. Guess what, you can have all of that by creating the thinking that will create that reality. And I don’t want it to sound simplistic. But truly your thoughts right now are creating the reality that you have, that you’re seeing through your eyes is the only way can be known to create your reality except for you. You’re the creator of your thinking. You get to choose your thoughts that will give you the reality you want. So look at that focus on what you really want. And people don’t take the time to do this, talk about the lady wanted, the other person wants a new carpet, what you really want? Don’t be, don’t limit yourself, just say if I was completely unlimited in my thinking, what would I like? What would I really love? It may be a very simple lifestyle. It may be something more than that, whatever it is, focus on what you really want. And then when you have that, what sorts of thoughts do I need to create in order to have that reality? I’m the creator of my thoughts. I can start thinking about those thoughts. And it’s always stepping into that you that needs to be in place in order to create that reality you want. If you could step into that thinking right now, play that game. Step into our thinking right now. And then decide from that and powerful thinking. What action am I going to take now, in my business in my life, because that’s a true you? That’s not something that’s out there in the distance that you’re never going to get to. That unlimited thinking is the true you is the essence of who you are. So when you’re stepping into the unlimited thinking, that’s not being a fraud at that decision in the next moment, that you are going to start that thinking right now. And taking action from that powerful powerful place, which is the true you.

Christine Schlonski [15:41]
Yeah, I just love that and people, often they’re not clear enough and what they really want because they’ve been conditioned to please everybody else. So if you fall in that category, as you know, take like half a day off, go to the beach, go into the mountains, go somewhere where you just have to deal with yourself and then really tune in. What would feel amazing for you? What lifestyle would feel amazing? And then who do you need to become to be that person to live that lifestyle? What did the person think? If you have enough money, you don’t need to worry about money anymore. So you don’t think about it the way you probably think about it now. If you have enough amazing clients to serve, and if your sales conversations are rocking, and they are so fun for you and your potential client. You’re the right person to support them and they say yes, well, you don’t have to worry about having a sleazy sales conversation where you need to be pushy, because that’s not the case. So you really have to adjust the thinking to just make it so much easier. And I love that you said, it’s a game, and often we’re so freaking serious and you know, I catch myself quite often when thinking like, “Oh, I’m back to my serious, serious mode. What can I do to have more fun like? What can I do to bring more humor into a conversation? Where can I have more play to really enjoy what I’m doing even more?” Because it brings us lightness that the fun and it’s really something that we are not really conditioned to have in the way that it serves other people as well. I just love that. So on your journey, what have you discovered? Is there something that you might be doing now as a fun piece that you wouldn’t have done some years ago?

Nina Cooke [17:50]
I am doing something fun at the moment. I realized that many of my days I was doing the same thing. So get up in the morning. Have a similar breakfast. Do my work or have lunch, take my dog out for a walk and all of that. I was doing, and I thinking, “I need to stimulate my mind and my thinking by doing something completely different.” And I decided I was going to start a new class. Every time I’m going to start a new class, learning a new skills. I started my Bollywood dancing, and it is the most fun. We have a fantastic teacher, she gives us really, really challenging moves. And we’re leaping around dancing to this great Indian music, which is really fast and crazy. And we’re buying ankle bells and we can jingle along as we’re going to the next, in our next class. And it’s so much fun, and I would encourage everyone just to do something completely different. That’s going to be outside of your comfort zone. Maybe that’s something that stretches your comfort zone and has fun because we really are here. Doesn’t it and the things going on in people’s lives, and I’m not belittling any of that, because we do have big challenges going on. But if you just get our mind thinking a little bit differently,

Christine Schlonski [19:13]
Yeah, just a little bit, minutes a day.

Nina Cooke [19:16]
Yeah.

Christine Schlonski [19:17]
There’s a light that comes in, you will feel the shift in all other areas as well. All of a sudden, you know, somebody’s going to call you up and ask you if they can work with you. You know, as other amazing things happen, that you have not even seen or thought of because you allow that lightness you allow yourself stepping into that different energy, a frequency that can attract more happiness. Happy people make people happy. That’s what I say. This is amazing. I just love that. So I want to give the task for people to choose one thing that they think they would enjoy because obviously if you also choose to do Bollywood dancing, you probably have to give it a try to see if you enjoy it. But you know, to something that you usually wouldn’t do to break out of that routine, to give yourself the freedom, to experiment, to play, to have fun. Just do something happy that makes you happy. And what I really, really like you brought an amazing gift for us. It’s a video training, and it is a gift and it’s Smashing Through Your Income Glass Ceiling, which I feel a lot of people probably think right now, “Well, if I would have more money, you know, doing the fun things will be much easier.” So we can definitely support them with your amazing training, Smashing Through Your Income Glass Ceiling, so let people know where to go.

Nina Cooke [20:52]
Absolutely. This is a limitation we set. I’ve only had this much before. That’s as much as I can ever make. Maybe 10% more than that. This training just blows the lid on that. You can set your financial set point wherever you want. It’s not set in stone, you can go up, of course, it can go down. But you get to choose how much you earn. Seriously do, so don’t limit yourself in that. And yet this training will take you through all the steps you need to start shifting your mindset.

Christine Schlonski [21:26]
That’s so amazing. Thank you so much. Well, thank you for sharing all this wisdom over the years that you have learned that is truly unique to you, your experience with the audience, and I’m going to put all the resources on the show notes page. And yeah, thank you so much for spending your time with us today and for sharing your amazing gifts. Thank you.

Nina Cooke [21:52]
Oh, it’s been a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Christine.

Christine Schlonski [21:55]
Well, what an amazing episode, I took some notes because it’s really true that when you are aligned with your message when you really bring it into the world, it doesn’t matter who is judging you. It’s none of your business anyway. You need to be there for those people who truly need you and you are amazing gifts. So check out the transcript, the show notes. The key points to Nina’s episode at https://christineschlonski.com/podcast you have all the links to connect with Nina. They are just one click away to go to her wonderful podcast and to her gift and you know, connect with her on social media as well. And if you say, “Well, it’s all good and true. And I love to learn about mindset. But on the other hand, I don’t even know where to find my clients.” I recommend that you have a look at https://christineschlonski.com/hclgs-registration/ and you learn from over 40 experts sharing what works in the market, what doesn’t, how they have created their six, seven and eight-figure businesses from the heart. And they are sharing their amazing success stories and strategies with you at the https://christineschlonski.com/hclgs-registration/ So hop on over there as well. And I hope you really enjoyed these episodes. I can’t wait for you to tune into the next episode, where we basically talk about how to sell from the heart. So tune in next time for Episode 173 and for right now I am wishing you a wonderful day, wherever you are in this beautiful world.