Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hey guys! Welcome to Episode 160. We have the amazing Sigrun back on the show and I can’t wait for you to tune in.

Sigrun [0:12]
Hi, my name is Sigrun and you’re listening to Heart Sells Podcast with Christine Schlonski. Enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:18]
I am so super excited to have Sigrun back on the show today. If you have not listened to the last episode with her, Put a Date on Your Dream, make sure you do this and tune in now for self-confidence is key. Sigrun had really to master the self-confidence piece because she is on a mission to accelerate gender equality through female entrepreneurship. And obviously you can only do that when you have self-confidence. So today we’re going to talk about how you can up your self-confidence, how you can be aligned and true to your values. Sigrun is the leading business mentor for female online entrepreneurs in Europe. She’s a TEDx speaker, the host of the wonderful Sigrun Show Podcast. And in 2014, she actually started her own online business. And within only five short years, she has built a seven-figure business helping women from all over the world. And the more she helps, obviously, the more confidence she gets. And this is true for every single one of us. The more we support, the more feedback we are getting, the more success we are having, the more will our confidence level grow. So let’s tune in this, Sigrun. While I am so super excited to have you back on the show, Sigrun. Welcome.

Sigrun [1:47]
Thank you for having me again.

Christine Schlonski [1:49]
Yeah, I just loved our first interview and everything you about gender equality, women making their dreams come true, and it’s really shocking. I didn’t know that five-year-old girls already have the belief that they can’t make their dreams come true. That’s like, for me, that’s totally shocking. And you created a whole empire to empower women to be their own boss, to become an entrepreneur. And you know, by doing that making their dreams come true. Because we all know when we help others to make their dreams come true, they will help us to make our dreams come true. So what have you seen when women really dare to step up? Because I’m quite sure, a lot of women, they kind of thing that they can do it but the self believes, the self-confidence might be missing a little bit. What have you seen it maybe you can share like an example of someone who was so afraid to do that step. And they did it and then the whole new world opened up for them.

Sigrun [3:01]
Yeah, actually, self-confidence is the first thing that I think is a problem here. Yeah. It is proven that women have less self-confidence than men. And it starts early age. I’m sorry, it starts before five already. Because, you know, boys are like, you know, encouraged to climb trees and girls are not and this all leads to lower self-confidence. So we have to kind of work with as coaches when we want to help our clients, we want to help our clients believe in themselves. I want to give you an example actually of an action that I took in one of my programs. I have an annual program where I help women build an online business. Typically, it’s the first step towards six figures. And then I have other programs but I was frustrated. With lack of action, so they had bought the program, maybe they had looked at something and done something, but I wasn’t seeing it, or I wasn’t seeing enough and I got frustrated. And to me, making money is great. But if my clients will not take action, then I rather not have their money. So money is not the first thing. It’s a result of actually wanting to see my clients take action. So I came up with a challenge, a 60-day challenge, where they had to, you know, take action, and I said, I gave a little incentive that can win a MacBook Pro. I had a very strict guideline like, “Okay, now I’m announcing the challenge. And on Friday, midnight, you have to fill out this form, otherwise, you’re not part of the challenge.” And the first time I did it, 120 people participate. This is not a free challenge. This is like within a paid program. I had this idea in 2018. 2019 I repeated it. 265 participated. Now it’s part of my program. Now I currently have about 80 people doing it. It’s become a part of what we do. What are the comments that I see from the women because I give them no time to think about overthink, I said, “If you have seven days, you’re going to take seven days. If I give you three months, you’re going to take three months. If I give you a year, it’s going to be a year.” This comes back to self-worth, self-doubts, self-confidence. Because that gets a little time, and they get tiny bits of information from me to just take the next steps for the next three days or something and then they have to wait for a nugget of information like it’s almost like a game. I have the feeling this is how to get people to take action because what do women often say, well overwhelmed. When they have a lot of information, they don’t know where to start. They don’t know what to do next, and they’re afraid to take the wrong step. So perfectionism kicks in. Unfortunately, I’ve also worked with male clients, I don’t hear it from them. If I tell them what to do, they’ll just do it. Or they’ll figure it out. That somehow, I’m not saying, this is very generalizing, of course, I’m not saying that men don’t have self-doubts. Yes, they do. But it seems to be much bigger with women. So what has come out of this to push them and give them little time and they’ve realized like, they have this epiphany, “I didn’t have time to overthink it. I’m always overthinking everything. Wow, I haven’t gotten so much done in seven days”, and at the end of the challenge, they have actually created something, they have an asset in their business, and they feel so proud and they look back and thinking, “I didn’t believe, I don’t believe that I did this.” And at the end of the challenge, I tell them, “Okay, now you have assets in your business, but you know why this is important for me that you realize what you’ve actually achieved? Now you have a belief in yourself.” And that’s the key for me. And some women make money in this challenge others not. It’s really not about that. It’s honestly I said, “Nobody can take this belief away from you. Money comes and goes.” Now obviously, as a business coach, I help people make more money. But you know what, much more important and much more it lasts longer when you have a belief in yourself. Because you know, who knows what happened, suddenly, the markets may collapse and you lose your house, you lose your money, but the belief that I have and what I want for my clients, they know how to make money and I can do it again and again. So even if it goes away, just get back on the feet and do it again.

Christine Schlonski [7:49]
Yeah, yes, so important, and you also, you can build upon those beliefs. If you take the next step that might be scary again because you grow so your steps are also growing your dreams are growing. But when you can look back and you think, “Oh, I managed to do that. Well if I’ve done that, I probably can do this as well if I take the action”, so you can stack the beliefs and I just love it. I mean I do it myself. I remember when I was still in school I jumped off a five-meter board and you know looking up it’s never that scary but be standing there and looking down into the water, the distance somehow becomes bigger. And I still remember like all my classmates watching me and I stood there. First of all, I didn’t want to be the loser, not jumping. And then I thought about all some other stuff I had done that was scary. And you know, but probably it takes like an hour to me but probably like five minutes and then I jumped and that instills so much more belief in myself. That even now I’m telling you because I remember that moment and you take more action towards bigger dreams. And then these tiny steps help you to get that self-confidence and to push yourself out of the comfort zone and try something new. So totally love that idea of as a challenge.

Sigrun [9:23]
Yeah. And we have this mantra in the challenge, “Trust the process”, because of course, there will be a lot of people that say, “Well, what happens next week?” They’re always trying to think things through. And I said this is exactly the reason why most people don’t take action. They’re trying to think every little step through and know what they need to do in two weeks and three months and six months. And if you know all the steps, you will never become an entrepreneur. Because there are so many steps and so many possible challenges and so many things have gone wrong. And let’s say you have a picture off at all, who would become an entrepreneur? Nobody.

Christine Schlonski [10:03]
Nobody.

Sigrun [10:05]
And that’s the thing. I like to take action with a limited amount of information. If I know it’s my dream like I said, I put a date on the dream, the rest is logistics. I don’t want to think at this moment. All the things I need to do for myself mid summit conference with a thousand entrepreneurs in Reykjavik, Iceland. If I would think about all that now, I would be overwhelmed, confused, stuck. All these words that make women feel powerless. Don’t think about that. Just start and the rest will follow.

Christine Schlonski [10:45]
Exactly. That one step will lead to the other. It’s so true. If people would have known what it means to be an entrepreneur, probably the world won’t have any because it’s a lot of uncertainty and figuring out why you going. I just love that.

Sigrun [11:01]
Exactly.

Christine Schlonski [11:02]
So what advice would you have for people to deal with this rejection because especially women, often we take it so personally? And like, what is a good way to start if you’re kind of afraid, you created this new program, but you’re not really you don’t have the feedback yet or the confidence to really go out and sell it and you start offering it but you do get rejected, like what would be an advice to deal with it?

Sigrun [11:30]
Well, I think rejection is just part of life. Like not everyone is gonna like you or want you and there are people out there that even hate me and I’m like, “Oh, that’s a good thing, because that means that someone loves me”, it’s a yin-yang. So not having a rejection means that everyone would want your program that’s not a good thing. So I think you have to see the rejection as a good thing because we need the yin-yang. I think it’s about being really truly you from the first place so there isn’t really a rejection. I think you want people to self reject. This comes to being true to our branding, what we stand for. If someone doesn’t like me wearing red or doesn’t like that I’m talking about gender equality all the time. They’ve self-selected. They’ve pushed themselves away and I don’t have to think about them or worry about them because we never met in the first place virtually or face to face. I think what can hurt a guest so if someone rejects you, almost like face to face or let’s say you work with a client and you know that you can help them so much more but they for some reason, don’t continue that. That is a different one. That’s a different type of rejection where you feel like, “Did I do something wrong? They don’t believe I’m the right one to continue with them. Is there someone better out there? Are they doing guru hopping?” I think that type of rejection has much has been a bigger thing, at least for me personally to deal with, then the average person out there there wasn’t it was never meant to be your client. There’s don’t worry about that person. It’s like unsubscribes on your email list. Like embrace it, just say, “Well, thank you very much. You’re not in my digital waste now because you have self-selected to go away.” It is more about those who become closer to you, and you start to invest in them. And this might be someone you’re courting for a time in terms of a potential client, maybe you’ll never work together. You have a few calls, and you’re like, “Okay, they’re really going to sign up now”, and then for some reason, the ghost you on the last meeting or send an email shortly before that decided something else. That is the one you kind of like, “Okay, it’s a part of the business. I don’t have a recipe to do with it.” Sometimes it hits you harder and you think about it for more days, but then you have to realize it was the best thing that could have happened. I had a feeling like this. And where I felt like, “Ah, this is the. I have this perfect program and this is my repeat client, and we’re going to work so well together”, and they decided not to move forward. And you know, it was a part of me growing and actually closing down a program or stepping up and working with better clients. So I think you have to find the hope in there that you don’t know why this client is not right for you right now. But they have given you the feedback. They don’t want to work with you. And you don’t know at that moment, you’re like, “Oh, you feel rejected, like something wrong with you.” No, it’s an opportunity for growth. I felt this every time that’s an opportunity for growth. So I think that’s the only hope I can give to say, “Okay, there is something better for you out there.” It’s losing a job. I have been fired many times. For various different reasons. Once, I was fired because it was sick, and I was sick for seven months, and they fired me, okay. Once, I was fired because the company wasn’t boom, and they were burning more money than having revenue, so they had to fire 50% of their staff and I was one of the best paid. So yeah, I was never fired for lack of performance. There was always some other story. But you feel a little bit sorry for yourself, you’d like, “I lost my job”, there is always something better, like every single time. And I think that’s the just the belief you have to have there is something better this client was not meant to be or not this time, and there’s something better out there for you.

Christine Schlonski [15:52]
Yeah, I just love it. It gives the rejection a much better feel. Usually, it has to more to do with them because it’s their decision, we cannot decide for them. They know what’s best for them. Sometimes we do make wrong decisions as well. But just having that space and the belief and looking for that better instead of for what went wrong. I like that being open to what, well, now it’s space. So what can come next? Where can I add a level? Where can I grow and outgrow?

Sigrun [16:29]
Yeah, and I think it’s also sometimes we kind of send the message out non verbally. One of my clients was just finishing up a launch and set a down sale. And she was like, “Yeah, there was some confusion in the down sale.” The fact of the matter was, she had already in her head decided to merge the two programs in the next lunch. And I was like, I think you’ve put that energy out there. So that’s why the down cell because they know it’s going to be included next time, even if you didn’t say it, but you thought it. It’s amazing, our energy, our thoughts, we can project them. And that’s why some clients will decide not to work with us. Because we’ve already put the message out there, but we actually don’t.

Christine Schlonski [17:18]
Yeah, that happened to me, I sabotage one of my launches, because I already knew I didn’t really want to repeat the program. What I already knew happened, even though I did the work, which wasn’t smart, I should have canceled it altogether. But I pushed through knowing that it’s not gonna work the way I started with. And it’s so interesting when you then pause and you look back and you think, yeah, because I put all those markers out that I don’t want to do the program, though, obviously, nobody bought.

Sigrun [17:51]
Yeah, that is a fact.

Christine Schlonski [17:53]
That is absolutely fascinating. Yeah. So do you remember the very first thing that you ever sold in your life?

Sigrun [18:02]
Well, in this current business, absolutely, yes.

Christine Schlonski [18:06]
I mean like in your whole life.

Sigrun [18:08]
My whole life?

Christine Schlonski [18:09]
The first time you receive money for something you sold or you came up with or you created?

Sigrun [18:18]
No, the thing is, I wasn’t an entrepreneur before I did this job. I was working in the dry cleaning of my parents when I was 10 years old and I just received a salary for that. So I didn’t actually sell something I created or came out.

Christine Schlonski [18:32]
So no cookies or kernels or painted stones?

Sigrun [18:36]
No, I think I feel it’s somehow more American than European that story of like, you know, and then you heard about, you hear about Gary Vaynerchuk and Richard Branson. And you know, honestly, I think it’s discouraging. If you haven’t a story like that, you know, I’m like, “Does this is mean I’m not an entrepreneur because I didn’t sell cookies or cards when I was a child or teenager?” And I think that’s not the case. I think the best entrepreneurs are people that work in corporate, learn the ropes, on salary, and then come up with an idea, you know, a little bit later, maybe in their early 40s or late 30s. And say, “Now I know what I want in my life”, and they had this amazing experience. So the first thing I sold was honestly $180 of coaching in my current business on March 26, 2014.

Christine Schlonski [19:34]
Oh, you remember the date. That’s awesome.

Sigrun [19:36]
I have it in my calendar, I celebrate every year. I use the opportunity to post on social media to remind people that everyone starts at zero. That I still, I’m very proud of that first time and I will never forget the best money I’ve earned in my life.

Christine Schlonski [19:53]
Yeah. Congratulations. I also tell the same story, the first thing I ever sold online once it worked after a few flops was a workshop for $97 and even though I made millions incorporate, that $97 was so much more worth, the value, the excitement I don’t really remember the date so but just thinking about it brings back the whole thing. All of a sudden, you know the Paypal goes.

Sigrun [20:24]
You can look it up because I looked it up myself to make sure I would always celebrate every year.

Christine Schlonski [20:29]
Yeah, okay, so I will incorporate that too. I’m gonna celebrate my first $97 and figure out the date. Still, I still know the client but I forgot the date. So that’s, that’s wonderful. So it kind of finishes off. I want to make sure that people can check out your amazing podcast called, The Sigrun Show. And also have a look at the self-made summit in Iceland which just sounds so amazing, Putting a Date on your Dream. Invite over people to https://www.sigrun.com/selfmadesummit. So that’s /selfmadesummi. And you’re going to be amazed. I mean, the pictures on that page are wonderful. It gives you a big impression of what this event is going to be like. how impactful and life-changing. And I just love that you put a date and you’re making this happen for so many entrepreneurs, to celebrate, to be inspired to learn a lot to have that community and to really put dates on their dreams. Yeah. So is there anything you would love to leave us with like a parting piece of guidance or advice?

Sigrun [21:48]
Well, it’s very much top of mind for me right now women supporting women. I something that we could do a much better job but there is, if you think of the caveman thinking women tend to be jealous of other women. I’m afraid it’s with us today. And when you see a woman being successful, then celebrate her. I called her out and be a part of her success because this will have a ripple effect for everyone else. So women supporting women, we need to do more of that. That’s my parting advice.

Christine Schlonski [22:25]
Yeah, I totally agree. Well, thank you so, so much for sharing your wisdom, your wonderful story. I hope that everyone listening is totally inspired, and checks out your show, as well as your wonderful self made summit. And yeah, thank you for the time.

Sigrun [22:41]
Yeah, thank you for having me.

Christine Schlonski [22:43]
You’re welcome. Bye for now. I just love both episodes, Put a date on Your Dream and today, The Self-Confidence is Key episode. And I love what Sigrun is all about and how she manages her success level. How she managed to up-level to touch more and more and more lives. So make sure you hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/. Find the podcast tab and dive into the episode right there, including the show notes, the transcript, or the link to Sigrun. And the amazing resources we talked about. It’s just one click away. And if you are wondering what you don’t really know where to start in your business, that you don’t have enough people coming your way so that you can make your offers yet you can shine your light and give your value to them. You want to check out the heart-centered lead generation summit that is coming up. Also, hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/. There is a tab where you can sign up your space and then we will get started with the heart-centered lead generation summit. Pretty Soon. So you get all those goodies and really have a strategy in place, how you can find your next client with ease, what kind of strategies you can apply so they find you and life becomes a lot easier because then you can concentrate more on serving your clients once you are set up for lead generation. Thank you so much for being here for tuning in. Have a wonderful, wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world. And I’m looking forward to seeing you for the next episode.