Resources in this Episode

Christine Schlonski 0:02
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 135.

Melanie Benson 0:06
I’m Melanie Benson. You are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski. Enjoy.

Christine Schlonski 0:13
Have you ever set yourself a goal and then you didn’t achieve it? Maybe you realized that the goal was just not big enough? Well, today I am talking to Melanie Benson about bold goals and you will really like this episode. Melanie is an optimizer and has a gift for guiding fast-paced, mission-driven entrepreneurs to thrive as they emerge as leaders in their business and industry. With over 15 years of mentoring high achieving game-changers. Melanie is a revenue strategist removing productivity and progress derailers while identifying high payoff, profit-boosting opportunities that position the entrepreneur to achieve the business of their dreams. Melanie is a lifestyle enthusiast, and she spends her free time searching for the best spas and beaches in the world. I’m so excited that Melanie is here today. And we’re going to talk about bold goals, and how to set them so that you can really, really get what you want in your life, in your business. And obviously, in your sales game. So enjoy this episode. Well, I am so super excited to have you on the show today, Melanie, welcome.

Melanie Benson 1:31
Thank you I’m so excited to be here.

Christine Schlonski 1:33
I know. We had already the pleasure in the last master classes, the Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass #3, and you delivered so much value. So thank you again for that. And I just couldn’t wait to get you on to Heart Sells! so you can share some more. One thing I have been seeing in your work, which I don’t even know if my tribe is really aware of it, that you are really in addition to making money, getting revenue and all of that, like how to set your goals, how to set bold goals that probably scare you, which you know, for some people, calling 10 people, cold calling 10 people is already one of these goals. For other people that might be making their first 500,000 or their first million or whatever it is. I’m so excited to dive into that goal-setting piece with you today.

Melanie Benson 2:35
Thanks! I love talking about this. I think it’s so, it’s such a valuable, almost like inner game part of success where we’ve already achieved a certain level of success, like most of us have a lot of ambition. We’re high achievers, we always set our sights on something bigger. But I’ve noticed because I’ve been doing this 18, 19 years now. That there’s something that starts to break down sometimes when you’re shooting for that next level, because how we got here, like we can’t do it the same way, right? Like we can’t get to that next level, the same way. I started to study, what does it really take to achieve those goals that elusive, though the ones we talk about or dream about? It may be I’ve broken six figures. But now I have no idea how to get to seven or I met seven figures I want to get to eight or it could be I want to have a global impact. What I’m doing isn’t working. It’s like we have to really, like rewire our brain to do things we’ve never done before. So that’s why I love talking about this and sharing these insights I’ve collected along the way.

Christine Schlonski 3:42
Yeah, and I love having a conversation with you. Because I know that when people start following that process, they will get the results. And you know, at the end of the day business is about getting results. Because if you don’t make any money in your business, you just have a hobby. And also to make a bigger impact. You really need to set yourself up for success. And obviously, we can fail on the way we learn from failure. But what has been the biggest thing for you, for your goal setting that you could share with the audience that made a huge difference?

Melanie Benson 4:22
Hmm. Well on it. Okay, so, first of all, share a little bit of my story, because I think a lot of our listeners are probably going to relate to this. You know, I achieved a lot of success early in my career, and then I hit this plateau. And part of it was I didn’t really know what I wanted to do next. I kind of done a lot of things early on in the online business industry. Then I saw a lot of other people kind of catching up with it. But I was kind of done, like it was like, “Okay. Then they’re done that what do I want?” As I set my sights on the next level, and part of that was like, “I wanted to go from having a really well known in the business in the States, I wanted to really grow globally.” I had started to make a lot of progress in Australia. I was starting to get some traction in England. But here’s the honest truth, I was not the person who could pull that off, like the amount of energy and effort I was expanding to do that was not sustainable. I took a step back and started looking at like when people make these big leaps when they pull up things that are the goals that people go, “Oh, my God, you’re crazy. I can’t believe you did that.” Who did they have to be? What I realized was is there’s a significant mindset shift that we have to let go of knowing how we’re going to pull it off. See, what I noticed, Christine and I, we’ve talked a little bit about this. I know we’ve probably had similar experiences and coaching and mentoring people, people get stuck in if I don’t know how to do it, I’m not going to go for it. And it’s like, there’s that logical piece that we have to or the practical piece that we can get stuck on. I had to learn. I’ve seen this with all my classes, I’ve had to learn how to set a goal because I want it, because it’s in every fiber of myself, because I’m hungry for it. Because I can’t go to sleep at night without dreaming about it. Right? You know those goals?

Christine Schlonski 6:20
Yeah.

Melanie Benson 6:20
And let go of how in the heck am I going to pull it off? And this could be, I don’t have the financial bandwidth. Like I know a lot of people get stuck because they’re like, well, I barely have the financial bandwidth for what I’m doing, how am I going to go to this next level, I don’t, I can’t make that big investment in a team or, or I don’t know how to market that, or I don’t even know what I want to call it yet. And we have to like shift. And I call this brain retraining, you have to like retrain your brain to get so committed to an outcome is that you will allow the outcome to pull you forward and to build the momentum, instead of relying on the steps you take every day to create that momentum. And it’s a vastly different approach. And I believe this is the approach people like Oprah, or Steve Jobs, or people who’ve done like insanely big, like, literally, like transform industries type of stuff. They never knew how to do it. They just decided they wanted to do it.

Christine Schlonski 7:20
Yeah. I totally see that Melanie. These people have so much success, that they must do something differently. We are trained by goal setting, you set your goal, you find the steps and you take the steps. I think sometimes I do fall into that trap that I think but I don’t know how. I just know but I don’t know how to get there and then it’s kind of in the way. What have you discovered on your journey that makes how not as important?

Melanie Benson 7:58
Well, and I should probably say that it’s not that the how isn’t important because the How does play a big part at a certain point in your journey. But you can’t lead with how because if you start with the how and you don’t know how you’ll never take action. So what I think has to happen first-come commitment then comes steps. The first step has to be, “I’m taking action today on the one thing I know how to do.” Let me break this down a little bit, I think it helps to unpack it. Let’s talk about commitment. How many times have we coach or mentored someone or as you’re listening in that you’ve set a goal for yourself and you have said, “I want to do this.” But then you find yourself getting distracted or you find yourself getting other priorities flashing in front of you and you get pulled off course, that’s because, in my opinion, you are interested in something instead of committed to the goal. And there’s a massive distinction that plays into this, especially when we say yes to something. And by the way, this could be anything from finding a mate to losing weight too, you know, making money to starting a business, I have watched people for almost 20 years now, say I want to do this. And then 10 years later, they’re still saying I want to do this. And what’s missing is they’re just interested, it just sounds nice. But the distinction is when you’re committed to something, you’re all in and you’ll do whatever it takes, you will not let obstacles derail you, you will not let a lack of resources define your ability to accomplish something. And you will find inside of you the resilience and the determination to keep moving forward. And I think we both know, like building a business. It is not like rainbows and unicorns. You have to want this. You have to want to keep stepping forward. Do I have time for a short story to share?

Christine Schlonski 10:10
Yes, please because I think it’s so important to make that difference between interested and actually being committed. Right? For example, I’m interested in losing weight right now. But I’m definitely not committed because I’ve been pushing it and push it and push it. It’s not such a big priority that I stopped doing other things that would need to be on hold since the day only has 24 hours. It’s such an interesting topic and I feel like all our listeners can see where they are interested but not committed.

Melanie Benson 10:48
Well, you know, it’s funny, when you teach this kind of material and you make a stand in the world for bold goals, then you will get opportunities to live it like I believe that. Roll from like what it took for me to create my business what it’s taken for me to learn how to build a team. That’s really a powerful team. But there’s a really poignant story that happened recently. I went to Yosemite with my family for a summer vacation. I don’t know if you familiar with Yosemite being in another part of the world, but it’s a gorgeous national, or actually, it’s a federal-state park. Te one thing that’s very unique about it is they have some of the tallest waterfalls in the world. It’s on the top 12 tallest waterfalls. So my family says the one thing, the one most important thing they want to do is go on this hike to the top of one of the falls. So in my mind, I’m like, “Okay, I’ve hiked.” I haven’t hiked a lot over the last year, because I had an injury last year that kind of derailed me. I’m really out of shape right now. I am not in the best shape of my life. I’ve had some health issues which have played in but I thought, “Okay, it’s a height to a waterfall, how bad could it be? I can always turn around if it’s too much.” Well, first of all, as a business owner, I should know better like we don’t ever turn around, right? Like when you’re in, you’re all in you’ve got completed. So I go on this hike, and it’s 92 degrees, which for everyone who doesn’t know Fahrenheit, that’s very hot.

Christine Schlonski 12:17
It’s something like 34 Celsius.

Melanie Benson 12:20
Yes, yeah, it’s brutally hot. It’s full sun and my family is kind of leading the pack. They’re cheering me on, like, “Come on, we can do it.” I’m about a third into the hike, and I’m ready to give up. I asked where we’re at, and they go, “Hmm, we’re not even halfway there yet.” So I said, “Okay, I’ll go at least halfway.” I get to the halfway point. I realized, there’s no turning back. Because if I go back, it’s just as bad if I go forward. What was in front of me was 600 concrete stairs straight up, full of mist and water. In that moment, I realized this was a really great coaching moment for anyone who has something in front of them that there’s terrified by and they don’t want to do, but they don’t want to accomplish it. And that was I had to find inside of me the resilience to do something that I was completely terrified for my body didn’t want to do. And this was the difference between commitment and interest. At first, I was interested in this hike, I’m like, “I’ll do it because they want to do it.” But that moment, I didn’t want to give up, I was committed. And I had to talk my body through every single step I took. And I think I’ll probably do a podcast interview on my own podcast about it or not interview but a topic on it because it was so poignant. For so many of my clients who daily set these goals and then talk themselves out of it over and over and over again, because they’re afraid, because they don’t know how. I think this is really, for me it was very poignant. I hope it really brings this point home for each of us as we’re looking at a goal that we can keep stating, and we don’t accomplish, are you all in and you’re going to go through the pain to get to the outcome that you can be proud of? Or are you going to allow the fear and the momentary uncomfortableness and probably a little bit of pain and agony define you and stop you? I think this is the difference between commitment and being all in and you’re willing to push through those hard times because they will come or and also the self-talk is it will tell you that you’re crazy for doing this. And being interested in something and then giving up when it gets too hard. So that’s what it means to me. That’s what I hold space for my clients to do. Even if it’s just the hard thing of, “I don’t want to follow up with this person. But I know I’m supposed to”, or, “I don’t want to start my own podcast but I know it needs it.” I’m scared. Like there’s a lot of steps, it doesn’t matter how big the goal is or how small it is. We all have those things that we don’t do. Because it’s triggering something inside of us. That is a reflection of our own doubt or fear about what we’re capable of.

Christine Schlonski 15:10
Yeah, and I’m quite sure you found that out as well, once you start moving, doors will open. Yes. And you will find so many more strings was in you, that you thought was possible. And I think your example is brilliant. Yeah, it’s just wonderful. Because of you, it’s one step at a time. That’s all it is

Melanie Benson 15:34
Totally what it was. When you share your vision with others, the support that you didn’t even know was around you. Because I was saying to my family, like, I want to do this, but I don’t know if I can, they all took turns waving back with me when I needed to rest or, like grabbing my hand and pulling me up the next set of stairs like, you know, it’s kind of embarrassing to say how out of shape I was. But I think it’s so important and humbling to be real about what challenges us and what can derail us. And when you can say I don’t know if I can do this and ask for support from your coach or your mastermind, or whatever your community is, you will be blown away at who rallies around you to lift you up and inspire you to do things you didn’t even know you could do. I’ve had that occasion. So many times at every pinnacle of my business. When I said I don’t know how to do the next round. Will either hired a coach or join a mastermind or let my team know or let a friend know and you will get the support you need and the next step will be revealed. Here’s what’s even cool, cooler is sometimes the steps you need to take are not the steps you would have imagined you would take. And if you did what you’ve always done, you will just get more of what you’ve already had. You won’t get to that next outcome because our minds are tricksters right? Like our minds are very powerful at keeping us in the comfort zone. Because our subconscious mind is a protection system like it wants to keep us from danger. And breaking out of the known our subconscious mind will oftentimes interpret as danger. And so our mind will often take us on a path of comfort and talk you in rationally and logically to doing more of the same instead of letting you break free and shatter those limits and achieve those goals that your hearts pining for. I’ve witnessed that in myself and my clients. It’s like one of those like, we got to break the champagne-like you did when you launched the last series. It’s so powerful when you realize like I am conquering demons have been holding me back for a long time.

Christine Schlonski 18:01
Yeah, yeah. I love that. Because you mentioned breaking the champagne. Also giving yourself the space to celebrate even smaller steps is something that I had to learn. Because I said, “Yeah, well, it’s done. Let’s go, let’s go for the next thing.” But really having that internal conversation, cheering yourself on, patting you on the back of your shoulder and just saying, “Well, that’s, that’s well done. I can do this, I can even do more. I can do the next step.” It really helps you to move forward.

Unknown Speaker 18:39
I love that you just said that, by the way. Thank you.

Christine Schlonski 18:41
Yeah, yeah, I feel like we should give a little challenge for the audience. Because so perfect. What could they do within the next two days, till your next episode airs because I do have to pleasure to get another interview with you. What could they do? They have two days to take some time to think about the goals. What kind of challenge could be included?

Melanie Benson 19:11
I know you’re bringing that. You don’t even know this, but I host an own your bowl challenge every year. I’m going to take a little piece from your own bowl challenge and have people take action on this right away. Because here’s the thing, who you become by even imagining a goal that’s bigger anything you’ve done before is more courageous like you will actually become more courageous and more confident just imagining the goal. I think that’s what we need. What if you made a list of the goals that you have been thinking about, but you haven’t taken action yet? And make a list and then I want you to like circle, the one that has the most excitement and interest for you. Like, again, just shut down the part of you that’s like, “It’s not practical. I don’t know how it fits in, right?” Just put that on pause right now. And then I want you to make a list of all the reasons why you believe you can’t achieve it or that you’ve let get in the way like what are the excuses? What are the things that derail you? What are the things that get in the way? I guarantee you’re going to have time on that list. I don’t have time, right? Or I don’t know-how.

Christine Schlonski 20:27
I’m going to say people probably, “I don’t have time, I don’t have money. I don’t know where to start”, is probably the most common.

Melanie Benson 20:35
Top 3.

Christine Schlonski 20:35
Yeah. So quick. Can you give like some little advice about how to shift around that?

Melanie Benson 20:41
Of course. Well, here’s my opinion. It’s my experience that what you value most you make time for. Okay, so, whatever, that’s why I want you to start with this process and maybe we’ll talk about this a little bit in the next episode. Whatever you put as that goal, what you’re actually giving your time to is what you truly value the most, even if you don’t believe it. Here’s what something really interesting. Because I’ve been doing this work for almost 20 years, I’ve seen a lot of people have breakthroughs here. I was working with a woman about 12 years ago, who she, we were at a retreat, and she said like, “I’m not making money in my business. I really love what I’m doing.” And so we did this exercise where I had her list what she valued, guess what was not on that list,

Christine Schlonski 21:39
Making money?

Melanie Benson 21:41
Yeah, money was not on that list. I’m not saying that everybody has to make money, their top value. It’s not about that. But what it is, is it’s about having a healthy relationship with prosperity. And if you don’t have a healthy relationship with prosperity and value it you will not put that effort into doing things that make you money, and I could, whatever that goal is that you’re valuing that you’re wanting more of. If it’s not, if the actions to get there or the goal itself is not in your top 10 values, you will not be giving it attention. That’s what derails you. That’s what takes you off course.

Christine Schlonski 22:21
Yeah, I totally agree. I think it’s so important, especially for those heart-centered entrepreneurs, for those mission-driven, want to do good in the world, that they understand that the more money you make, it’s just a kind of measurement of the influence you have in the world, of the impact, the positive one, and the more money you have, the more good things you can do. It doesn’t mean that you need to go and get your next, I don’t know Gucci handbag or your next whatever it is. I mean, there are so many wonderful things where you can spend money on or give money to that make it an even bigger impact in the world. That makes your heart sing, could just be supporting an organization that supports young kids, having a better life. I believe that this is so important. When you are listening right now, and you’re taking on that challenge, and writing down those goals and feeling into them, just think when it comes to the money piece, how would it feel if you had all the resources you truly desire to get not only to your goals but to help other people making their goals and dreams come true.

Melanie Benson 23:41
So true. I like to think of money as a resource. When you have more resources, you can be more resourceful.

Christine Schlonski 23:50
Yeah, yeah. Wow. That’s so good. Awesome. Well, time with you just flies, Melanie.

Melanie Benson 23:57
We have so many things to cover, right?

Christine Schlonski 23:58
I know. I know. That’s why I’m happy you agreed for a second interview. Can you let us know? I mean, there will be the show notes and the transcripts. Obviously, all the links to connect with you with just one click. But where could people go to find you?

Melanie Benson 24:15
Well, I like to give people steps that they can take can really integrate what we’ve been talking about today. And we’ve recently opened up a quiz that helps you really see in black and white, where you might be holding yourself back from these bigger, bolder goals. It’s called the Hidden Profit Drains.” You can find it at https://melaniebenson.com/heartsells we made a special link just for your listeners to make it easy to remember. And what you’ll find is that seven questions go really fast takes about two minutes. But you’ll be asked some questions that you may not have asked yourself enough to really uncover what might the mindset or the habit that’s really in the way. Then when you know what’s really in the way you can actually start to do the mindset shifts and build the habits of the person who can pull off those big bold goals, or the consistently produces at a certain level. Maybe that’s the goal. So I love it, I think you’ll find it very insightful. And then once you take the quiz, I would love to share my book with you as a gift. It’s called, ‘Rewired for Wealth.’ It’ll take you a little bit deeper into some of the different patterns we have around money and success. Then you’ll start to be able to go a little bit deeper into building up those really strong, powerful mindsets and behaviors of a successful and wealthy entrepreneur, business owner, salesperson, whatever your role is.

Christine Schlonski 25:47
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, I so appreciate that generous gift. And yeah, I make sure I put it on the podcast page. And yeah, looking forward to our next interview. Thank you so much. Me too. Thank you. Well, what an insightful episode, I really took notes, because I do have some goals that might not be bold enough, and that I need to amplify, so to speak. So I’m really excited. And I hope you are too and you are taking on the challenge. Hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com Find the podcast tab with all the resources we talked about, with all the links that lead to Melanie. So she’s just one click away. And also visit the show notes, the transcripts, the key point of this episode, so you can have a read if you like to. Once you’re over there at https://christineschlonski.com , sign in and get your free 30-day online course it’s an E-course. I take you through the sales, journaling to success. Each and every day you receive a sales journaling prompt, some advice around it, how you can use it, and I’m sharing with you the exact prompts that have helped me to make millions in sales and to really shift my mindset from a sales mindset into a sales success mindset. So hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com. Find the journaling prompts called, Sales Journaling to Success. It’s a free course. So you can only win. And yeah, thank you so much for tuning in. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world. And make sure you’re showing up for the next episode.