Resources in this Episode

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 117 with the wonderful fashion stylist Elysha Lenkin.

Elysha Lenkin [0:09]
Hi, this is Elysha Lenkin, you are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski. Enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:17]
I’m so looking forward to this wonderful conversation with Elysha today because she helps women to express themselves through fashion. Because when you look current, feel confident and stay true to yourself, you will sell more, but therefore you need a wardrobe that inspires you. And that is all what Elysha is about. So before we tune into this amazing episode, make sure you hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/podcast find the episode of Elysha and connect with her. All her social media handles are linked. So it’s just one click away. You also find the transcripts and the show notes and the wonderful resources we’re talking about here to support your amazing journey. Today, I want to give a big shout out to our listeners from New York, New York as well as to our listeners from Paris, France. Let’s dive into this episode with Elysha and see how she helps women to express themselves through fashion so they look current, feel confident and stay true to themselves. As a commercial stylist for more than 20 years, Elysha has styled women of all shapes and sizes, including Tina Fey, Carrie Underwood, and Serena Williams. Her weekly blog and video show provides inspired style tips and insider tricks that make fashion fun and approachable. When she’s not working, she’s hanging out with her husband and her two kids on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. So if you like this episode, make sure you share it with your friends. And subscribe because the next episode is coming out soon. And let’s dive into Elysha Lenkin’s wisdom. Well, I’m so excited to have you on Heart Sells! Podcast today, Elysha. Welcome.

Elysha Lenkin [2:15]
Oh, thank you, Christine, I am so excited to be here with you.

Christine Schlonski [2:19]
Yes. You are all about fashion and clothes. We connected a while ago and I just loved what you are about. And I thought, well, how can we connect that to sales and that we had an amazing conversation, where you told me a little bit about your story and how it is to be a creative and following your dreams and making your dreams come true. And at the same time also selling. So can you give us a little bit of a background first, because you are serving amazing, amazing clients. What brought you into your business?

Elysha Lenkin [2:57]
Well, I started out as a fashion stylist back in the 90s. So this was when fashion stylist was a real behind the scenes position. There was no Instagram, no #VTS. When I would meet people and they would ask me what I did. I’d say, “I’m a stylist”, and I had to explain to everybody what it was that I did because no one understood. So I was working on commercial shoots, I was styling for magazines, working with celebrities, working on commercials. And that was where the bulk of my career was, was on commercial shoots. And it was more recently that I shifted my focus to working with professional women because I started to see how these women really could benefit from the work that I offer, which is helping women to feel more confident in their clothes. It’s one thing when you’re working on a shoot with models or with professionals who are there for the job and they want to look good, but working one on one with everyday women. The shifts are so profound and when I see my clients experience firsthand the confidence that comes from understanding what to wear and being more creative with their clothing. That’s what makes it all worth it to me. So that’s what I love doing.

Christine Schlonski [4:25]
Yeah, that’s so amazing. Clothes really can make a difference. I think I’ve been on occasions where I felt underdressed or overdressed which then leads to not feeling comfortable in your skin. I think especially in business, it’s so important that you show up in a way that is authentic, that you know you want to present, well, you’re always present yourself and by presenting yourself it’s also form of selling yourself, how can people connect to you and that can be done through clothing.

Elysha Lenkin [5:04]
Absolutely. And you know, I love what you said about how sometimes you feel overdressed. Sometimes you feel underdressed. Yeah, this happens. And obviously, what you consider to be overdressed than underdressed is going to be different from what I feel overdressed and underdressed in. So the key is to figure out what is perfect for you. Because ultimately, at the end of the day, we want to feel like we belong and we want to feel that what we’re wearing represents and presents ourselves in the best possible way. So when you can figure out what to wear that is going to enable you to show up as your most authentic self. So you feel true to who you are. But also your most inspired and confident self. This is when you’re going to make the most sales.

Christine Schlonski [5:51]
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That’s a perfect topic. Let’s go right in. It’s interesting because the confident piece and the clothing piece goes very well together, right? I mean, I probably, from what I feel for myself to be true. I can clothes in my PJs, as well as I can clothes and my tailored suit. I’m totally fine with both. But if I would be in front of a client, obviously, I would not feel amazing in my PJs, right? So it depends if you have, like if we talk about closing over the phone or closing one on one, or how do you make that distinction for your clients? Where in which kind of events with your support them?

Elysha Lenkin [6:43]
Well, I think that’s amazing that you can close clients in your PJs, that is not something that —

Christine Schlonski [6:50]
Over the phone.

Elysha Lenkin [6:51]
Over the phone, yeah, of course. That is not something that I would recommend because I believe that using your clothing and what you wear is an easy opportunity to build confidence. So if you’re just putting your PJs on, I feel that you’re missing out on this chance to give yourself more confidence. Because when you actually take time to think about, how you want to feel in your clothes? Who do you need to be? Which version of yourself do you need to be on this call? That energy is really important. It’s like a pre-show to your sales conversation. So you take this time, you can make it like a little ritual, you don’t have to spend too much time on it. But it’s just by bringing some intention to what you’re wearing. Because just by putting this energy into thinking how you want to feel on the conversation with your clients. How do you want to show up? How do you want to listen to them and be supportive for them? Using your clothes can help you achieve this when you think about what you’re wearing and how you want to show up. More specifically how you want to feel in your clothes.

Christine Schlonski [8:04]
Yeah, I love that I yeah, I think I always go for the build piece. Want to feel and, you know, to be fair, like when we talk about sales, you know, my confidence level is pretty high. But I totally see that for somebody who loves what they do, but who struggles with sales, who struggles to make that offer or to ask their price. I 100% agree that with the right wardrobe, that can be like a total confidence boost.

Elysha Lenkin [8:38]
Exactly. So why not take that opportunity, you may not need that opportunity anymore. But for those who are still struggling through their sales calls, why not utilize this opportunity to use your clothes, be intentional. And it’s really just about shifting your energy. So you’re taking that time to shift your energy to think about, “How do I want to feel on this call with my client?” And so it is a little bit like a ritual if you want to have it be like that. Even if you’re putting on your lipstick, you can look at yourself and think about, “Who do I need to be on this call?”, it’s just about being intentional with how you want to feel so that you can show up in the best possible way for your clients.

Christine Schlonski [9:22]
Yeah, I love that, I love that was being intentional because I’m a big believer about journaling, where we actually set our intentions for the day. Where we set our intentions of how we want to approach clients or new clients and creating actually a tiny course around that. With journaling prompts, the mindset is totally shifted. So let’s talk about the intention. Most of the time when we teach something we have experienced that we had the learning. Where did you come from, as in creative when you started to actually be visible, and you started your own business and go out to the world to win clients and to serve them and provide your services?

Elysha Lenkin [10:17]
Yes, I love this question. I have always been confident with my clothes, putting together outfits, expressing myself creatively, that has always been a strength of mine. And that’s why I went into business, into this business. Doing sales, making sales, however, has been an intense struggle for me, because I am a creative person. I didn’t like the idea of selling someone, it felt too harsh. It felt like I needed to convince them. I didn’t understand, I didn’t really understand what sales were at all. It was a huge block for me. While I had all this confidence in my clothing, and what I was wearing, I was lacking confidence around sales. I didn’t even realize that I had this block, it went on for a while where I kept coming up against this block, “Sales are sleazy. You’re bad if you’re making sales”, this is the voice that was going on my head. It kept me, it kept me from even making offers to be totally honest. It was once I finally became aware. That was when I started meeting other entrepreneurs because originally I was a freelance stylist, totally different world I didn’t have to sell. I even had an agent doing my selling for me, it was all word of mouth. It was people I knew, totally different business. It wasn’t until I shifted into more of entrepreneurial experience with my business, that I realized this whole selling thing that I needed to learn more about it. And I needed to overcome my block, really?.

Christine Schlonski [11:50]
Yeah. That’s gold what you’re just saying because obviously, you overcame your block because so many listeners here are creatives, musicians, photographers, maybe also in fashion. And then coaches, consultants, soloprenuers in general. But they all have one thing in common. They just love what they do. And putting that into the world is so much easier once you understood that sales piece. Because first of all, you get rewarded for your work, money comes in. And then you do have a business instead of a hobby, which I think is so important. And it’s probably, sales is the backbone of each company. Without any sales, you don’t have that business. So for people to keep doing what they love, it’s essential to make sales. So when you say you came to that block over and over again, how did you overcome it? Like what advice could you give another creative who might be listening in today to overcome such block?

Elysha Lenkin [12:56]
Well, the first thing was, I didn’t even know I had this block. It was, “Sales are bad.” And that was the block I kept coming up to. It felt like it was outside of me. It wasn’t until I realized that it was coming from within me. Awareness was the first step. Even to understand that I had this block against selling because I was creative and creatives don’t sell their stuff. It just seemed like I said, it seems sleazy. So becoming aware that I even had the block was the first step. Then I started hanging around, I spent my time around other entrepreneurs. So I have to say having a community, someone to talk to was also crucial for me. I remember one conversation I was having with an entrepreneur friend, and she said, “What do you want?”, and I said, “I need to sell”, and that was when it was all of a sudden the intention. The intention came there, I realized that I needed to get past that block. And the way that I did was, I had to believe in what I was offering. And I had to believe that it was a service to my client. So it wasn’t selling them. It was helping them. And once I came to that realization, everything shifted.

Christine Schlonski [14:13]
Awesome. So for the people listening who might not even be aware that they have a block, what was the self-talk that was going on for you back then? Do you remember some of it?

Elysha Lenkin [14:26]
It was so strong that I do still remember it. Sales are sleazy, when I would see certain people promoting themselves or selling, I got this terrible feeling inside my body. It made me shrink. It really impacted me physically. I didn’t want to have anything to do with that. I didn’t believe it was authentic. I didn’t see the service piece at all. I didn’t even understand that. To me, it was almost as if like, every person selling, I equated them like a used car salesman, who really was trying to rip people off. Everybody went into that category for me. I didn’t understand this idea that you’re actually helping your customers.

Christine Schlonski [15:13]
Yeah. So people that are not aware, like what could they look for in what are they experiencing? Those feeling it in their body when they see other selling.

Elysha Lenkin [15:23]
Yes, that’s a good one.

Christine Schlonski [15:26]
I had that experience with a friend recently, who I invited to look up a certain program. We had talked about a tool to use. And then I said, “We’ll check that out. I took the program. It’s amazing.” So there was already positive testimonial. And the person had a countdown timer on their page, which totally screwed this person off. Interestingly, two days later, he went back and he booked it, which I thought, “What is all that trouble and struggle for if you would have looked at you know, right away? That would have been amazing.” So but feeling it in your body, that was an awesome reaction. And then talking to yourself like, “Sales are sleazy” when people get themselves thinking, “Sales is icky, sleazy salesy, pushy”, that is very well a wording that could point to those blocks, right?

Elysha Lenkin [16:25]
Yes, because I think that the feeling in the body correlates with that. It is a feeling of being as if I was being put, I might not even have been the person that they’re selling to. This could just be in my space, somebody is selling something, and I would start to feel it. Because my block was so severe. So I would feel it all the time. But those words, definitely. Pushiness is definitely a big word that would trigger me.

Christine Schlonski [16:53]
Hmm. Awesome. So people now have a way, way to look. And then, shifting and thinking of service is then the next step. So how does your piece come to it with the closing? Like, now I got this block. I know it’s possible that I get out of the situation. That I can serve more people by selling more, by making offers. What did you do that after you figured out that you need to change your thinking? How did you close the port you?

Elysha Lenkin [17:27]
Well, I was always confident about my clothes. So that wasn’t a big hurdle for me to overcome. But using my clothing and my wardrobe choices to build my confidence before I would make a sales pitch was huge. The first time I ever sold something, it was online, I was doing a Facebook Live. I did my pre-ritual. I thought about, “Who do I want to be for this? How do I want to feel?”, and I really went deep into what I was going to wear to it. I looked at all my clothing, I align. I love this idea of taking, going through your closet, pulling out different items, and aligning the clothing choices with the words that describe how you want to feel. So if I wanted to feel strong and powerful, I’d reach for my wool blazer, so you can find a piece of clothing that correlates with the feeling that you want to have. If I want to feel approachable, and soft and feminine, I go for my silk floral blouse. I did this, I thought about how I wanted to feel and I wanted to feel approachable. That to me was an important component. I wanted to connect and relate to my audience. For me, I chose softer, more feminine pieces that I would wear. Because that helps me to embody that feeling when I’m making my pitch and it builds my confidence.

Christine Schlonski [18:52]
Yeah, yeah, I love that. For me, it’s always a feeling of feeling comfortable in my skin. So and I think it’s so beautiful that you bring that up because it is aligned with what you wear puts you on a totally different level.

Elysha Lenkin [19:10]
I mean, it’s giving you something that not everybody is thinking about. That’s why I asked, “Why wouldn’t you try this?” It’s just another tool in your toolbox. Why wouldn’t you try it? See how it goes for you, just give it a chance. It might work.

Christine Schlonski [19:28]
Oh, definitely. I’m totally sure it will work.

Elysha Lenkin [19:31]
It worked for me.

Christine Schlonski [19:33]
Yeah, I can see that. There is a difference, especially when you show up life and lots of people might have those life conversations or conversations via Zoom or Skype. It’s not always on the telephone. Then you want to be presented in the best way but also in an authentic way.

Elysha Lenkin [19:57]
Absolutely, that’s why I believe that you should really take some timing, get intentional with your entire outfit because it’s about the energy that you’re putting forward. So if you give yourself that time to really think about how you want to present yourself, what do you want to wear, how do you want to be received, a lot of people think about how others will perceive them. But I like to think about how they will receive me it’s just a more gentle way of thinking about it. So giving yourself that time to think about that is really going to impact how you show up because you’re going to show up with more confidence. And then once you show up with more confidence, people are going to respond to that. They’re going to give you back positive energy, and then it becomes this beautiful feedback loop. So then you’re inspired to do it again. The next time you’re like, oh, that worked. I’m going to try that again.

Christine Schlonski [20:47]
Yeah, amazing, amazing. I know that you have a checklist, and I’m going to put the link in the show notes for seven steps to an incredible well outfit. Can you just share maybe one step right now? Like, what’s your favorite step that you can take to get that incredible outfits? I think aligning, like feeling, like really opening your closet and maybe just standing there looking at all your options. And feeling what speaks to you. That would be something that comes to my mind. What would you say?

Elysha Lenkin [21:24]
Well, intention is definitely one of the steps, it’s incredibly important. And this checklist is really helpful for anybody who is feeling stuck, they look at their closet, they look at their wardrobe. And they feel like they have no options. They don’t like what they see. They don’t like what they imagine. How they’ll look in their clothes. They’re not happy with that. They’re feeling stuck. This checklist is going to help you cut through and breakthrough this style rut and it’s going to give you ideas, it’s going to give you inspiration. But most importantly, it’s going to get your creativity going. So just by taking the time and going through this checklist, you’re going to shift your energy away from the style rut into creativity. You’re even going to have fun because some of the steps there are pretty unexpected. So it’s just a new way to look at your wardrobe and to create your outfit.

Christine Schlonski [22:20]
Yeah, wonderful. So let’s look deeper into some questions. Especially around, I mean, people can not see us but I see you right now and you look beautiful and your clothes are wonderful. I keep thinking like, “Wow, let’s so well put together.” I can totally see that confidence and how it radiates. Has it always been this way or like maybe growing up or so at some point in your life you struggled even just that piece, also regarding your own wardrobe?

Elysha Lenkin [22:59]
Well, I’m going to tell you something that not that many people know. I grew up incredibly confident about my style, what I wore and my creative expression style has always been about creative expression for me. It was less about designer clothes, and the actual clothes themselves. It was more about how can I put this together to express myself. So I grew up very confident. It wasn’t until I started working in the fashion industry that my confidence got killed. I started working in the fashion industry and even right from the beginning as an assistant to being an editorial stylist, meaning I was working on magazines, dealing with showrooms, going to fashion shows, my confidence got killed. So there was that time period where I struggled with how I was showing up on shoots. So it wasn’t like the way you would imagine. I’m sure you can imagine how the fashion industry would kill a woman’s confidence just because it places these unrealistic affectations, the strive for perfection. My experience was a little different because I was in the industry itself. So I experienced it from a different perspective, it was the way I was treated because I wasn’t high fashion. I wasn’t working at Vogue. So there’s a real hierarchy there that you feel when you’re in it. I never felt like I belonged. That’s part of the reason I’m so inspired to help everyday professional women is because I went through that myself working in the industry.

Christine Schlonski [24:33]
Yeah, and I can totally see that when you have that natural confidence. Then all of a sudden you are put into a cluster or drawer or you get like a rating and you can’t do anything about it.

Elysha Lenkin [24:50]
Yeah, it was pretty intense. I wasn’t like the other people in the industry and I always felt like that. So it’s interesting because when I was younger, I prided myself on looking a little bit different. But then all of a sudden, I had people looking down at me and questioning the things I was doing for my work as a stylist. That really made me question myself. It took a while before I finally was able to put that behind me. I mean, part of it is I shifted who I was working with. So that was a big part of it. I started surrounding myself around different people. But to be honest, the way that I got out of it was I started a yoga practice. And just having that my own mind, body awareness that made me feel the confidence that I needed, then I was able to bring that back with me on to photoshoots.

Christine Schlonski [25:42]
I love that. So you shifted into bodywork, so to speak, and connecting the spirit and the body. Yeah, I love that. I did awhile when I was selling corporate. I had a yoga class on Monday to get into the week and on Friday to get out of the week. Luckily, I don’t need any of that right now. But I do see what yoga brings you and how it connects your spirit, your body and how it makes you feel more confident.

Elysha Lenkin [26:14]
Exactly. This is the thing, yoga was a beautiful practice to do. But I believe it could have been any hobby or anything that I chose to do where that gave me the confidence that I needed to show up again on the photoshoots with my confidence. So the yoga was amazing because it brought me more aware, more self-aware. But if I had gotten really into art, and I started painting, and I started seeing results and progress from my painting, that could have given me confidence as well. So I believe that for anybody when you find an activity that you love, and that you start doing, and you start seeing progress, that is really going to help build your confidence as well.

Christine Schlonski [26:56]
Yeah, awesome. Well, thank you so so much. What a wonderful first episode and I’m so excited that we do get to talk again.

Elysha Lenkin [27:04]
Great, thank you so much.

Christine Schlonski [27:06]
Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. And I talk to you soon.

Elysha Lenkin [27:09]
Thank you.

Elysha Lenkin [27:10]
Well, what a fun episode with Elysha. I really enjoyed it. It gives me some ideas to go through my wardrobe and to really have a look what needs to go and what can stay. And yeah, how to have more fun in the fashion department so to speak. I really hope you got some nice tips out of this and you enjoyed the episode. Make sure you subscribe to Heart Sells! Podcast, you give it a rating, enter a review, and you hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/podcast and find all the resources. Elysha’s amazing gift, as well as the keynote, as well as the show notes, the transcript, and all the social media links. They are just one click away so that you can connect and follow Elysha’s fun journey. Make sure you tune in for the next episode with her where we’re going to go deeper. We’re going to talk about aligning your clothes so that you can be authentic. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world. I’m saying bye for now.