Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 113. You are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast. I’m your host, Christine Schlonski. It is Variety Friday. The month of August is the month of rejection. So I made it about rejection because I was inspired by Leo Quinn, who actually goes for the whole summer of 1000 rejections. We will have a catch-up call pretty soon to let you know where he is on his journey that he took so courageously to really go for 1000 ‘Noes’, and I wonder how many ‘Yeses’ he got in return. So today, I want to talk to you about how you might be set up for getting rejection. But before we dive in, make sure you hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ find the podcast tab with all the resources, transcripts and show notes and also for you to sign up for the empowerment notes, which is weekly empowerment right into your inbox and once in a while some special announcement just for you. I want to give those empowerment notes to you because they have all the podcast information. There’s also stuff I do not talk about on social media. So I always make sure that I deliver extra value for you in my tribe. Hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ find the podcast tab, sign in for the empowerment notes. You are all set.

Christine Schlonski [1:47]
I’m super, super excited to talk to you about rejection not because I enjoy rejection, that’s for sure not the case. But it’s something so important. Because often I see in my business in the way I get approach, that people are so clueless about how to build a relationship. So I have an example for you today, which I want to share. And I’m quite sure you have experienced it and you know how achy it feels and how you really want to get away from these situations. So often, I talk to people that feel the same way, that has the same challenges, by getting requests on Facebook, or Instagram or LinkedIn, or whatever your social platform is, or the social platforms you are using. People want to connect, especially when you start being a leader in your field. When you’re showing up, when you get attention, you get front requests. I personally, when I reach out to people, I always send a personal message, I don’t just click, add as a friend, and then I don’t write something. I would love to encourage you because sales is all about building the relationship. When you reach out to someone, let them know why. Let them know why you sent a friend request. Let them know what you liked about their profile, about what they have posted. Welcome them to accept your invitation, it makes life so much easier. It really sets the tone for the relationship.

Christine Schlonski [3:35]
I received a friend request and when I receive friend requests, I also make sure that I check the profile, that if I feel they have a good vibe and good intentions. That when I accept the friend request, I also send a message. I always send a personal message where I welcome people into the tribe, where I checked, like how many friends or connections do we have in common, and then I state something. I want to share two examples with you today, which is a way where you should not go down to and if somebody is teaching you these methods, please, please follow your heart and run away. Because it’s not creating what you desire to create, I can tell you that 100%. Everybody being treated that way you will feel upset, and they are not interested in having any kind of communication with you. I received a message, let’s just call the person Anna. I took ‘A’ because it starts with ‘A’ in the alphabet, to not say her real name. Anna reached out as a friend. I saw that we have over 200 friends in common.

Christine Schlonski [4:48]
So I thought well, that is probably pretty cool. She must be a really nice person. So I accepted her friend request. I sent her a personal message. She gave me a thumbs up on my message. Then she responded and she said, “Hey, Christine, yes, we do have some mutual friends and I like to connect with like-minded people.” Well, so far, so good. Then she was like a little about me, [dot,dot dot] which is fine, because I did ask what she was up to, what’s her message to the world. Then she says, “I’m a part-time nurse with a passion for helping people, healthy living and travel. In fact, I’m on a new venture with travel. I’m curious, do you love to travel and save on travel? Cheers.” All right. So this is a person I’ve never ever connected with. I just accepted her friend request, I sent her a very nice message, not pitching anything, just welcoming her and saying hello. Now, in the third sentence, she already starts pitching. Well, actually in the second sentence. Guys, this doesn’t feel good. So do not get into the situation. Especially if you connect with people check their profile. If you check my profile, you see that I travel all the time. I love traveling, I love to connect with people. You want to make sure that you don’t send these automated pre-written messages. Like, I was thinking already and her second sentence, “Well, passion for helping people”, that’s great. “Healthy Living and travel”, all right. “In fact, I’m on a new venture with travel”, well, great for her. “I’m curious, do you love to travel?”, which means you didn’t look at my profile at all.

Christine Schlonski [6:44]
You just send a friend request and you are not really interested. Yes, what happens next? I said, “Hey, Anna, thank you for your message. Sounds like you are up to great things, crossing my fingers for your endeavors, hope you’re enjoying your weekend, Christine.” By purpose, I did not answer her question on the travel. Because I didn’t want to be pitched. I also wanted to be nice since I thought, “Well, give her a second chance.” If she enjoys helping people, we do have something in common. We have a ton of common friends. Let’s just see where that goes. Now she writes back, no hello, nothing. “Thank you. I can send you some information on something that’s really exciting that I found in regards to travel.” Well, no, right? I mean, she still hasn’t checked my profile. Even though I accepted the friend request, I started the conversation. She just doesn’t give anything about me. So I get it. I’m really getting upset at this point. I still try to be nice. But I also want to teach her something. So I said, “Well, no, thank you. I don’t like to be pitched from people who have not done their homework and have not invested time to build a relationship.” I mean, that’s pretty straightforward. Like, don’t pitch me if you have not spent any time. Now, the interesting thing happens. I’m still open to communication. I did not block her. I did not unfriend her, nothing. I just pointed out that she did not spend time investing in our relationship. And her answers, “Well, thank you have a lovely evening.”, and then right away, she blocks me on messenger. I mean, that’s insane. I know that so many people get taught these methods of reaching out like crazy, burning people to the left, to the right, and really screwing up the business. Because if she would have had a conversation with me, I’m always open to save on travel. But I have my eyes open. So I already know where to go to. I’m not interested in getting to some random person, being some random nurse somewhere part-time, randomly checking me up on Facebook, and trying to get me into her team to sell travel or lifestyle where she did not even do her homework and doesn’t have a clue who I am.

Christine Schlonski [9:30]
I’m quite sure that you get those messages that you feel like, what is going on in this world? Because it just doesn’t feel good. So you really, really need to avoid these pitfalls. Because it’s not connecting, think about it this way. How would you like to be treated in a sales conversation? Leadership sometimes is not that easy, because we need to point out where we see that, that is maybe a lack of knowledge, or the person doesn’t have the tools or the person has a belief system that doesn’t serve them. So we do need to point that out as a leader. But the question is, how do we do this? And then also like, how do we lead in a relationship? Like, who’s coming our way? Who do we make an invitation to? Who do we need to check with if they might be a perfect fit? So all I’m saying is, do your homework. The next thing that happens and I’m quite sure what happens to all of us on a regular basis. It’s such a pity because people waste their time sending these messages, even if they are partly automated or maybe fully automated. They just burn the relationship from the get goes. One client or one relationship can be your next breakthrough. Can be the next support you need in your business to get to your next level. Can potentially bring you your next million-dollar idea. The next fan can support you so much that you don’t even know where the journey is going. By approaching people in this way, you just burn it right away. So don’t fall for this. Instagram, nice person, at least on the profile picture, gave me a ‘heart’ and then gave me a comment which I love comments because I want to connect, I want to know what people think.

Christine Schlonski [11:43]
So they say, “Hey! [emoji emoji] I have 100% authentic designs package for you. [emoji emoji] feel the greatness of love, get your cartoon pictures, logo album cover animated cartoons, videos, all in HD quality”, and then it’s a lot of emojis, flowers and stuff around it. Like seriously, is this something where I post a professional post about my next podcast episode? That I want to read about cartoon pictures while I’m paying a graphic designer to get me these wonderful graphics I’m using? I mean, seriously, without even having any kind of communication? Obviously, I’m not going to answer, and I don’t think anybody else would. So I’m just wondering what’s going on in those people’s minds, that how desperate can you be to act like this? I don’t know how many hundreds of thousands of people you have to send those messages to that one person picks you up on your offer. So coming from the heart, Heart Sells!, means you create a relationship, you create a space with the potential client that feels amazing, that is fun, that is inviting, that makes your heart sing and that helps them to see all the benefits they can get. I totally get that for some product. When you buy new shampoo, or you get a bottle of water, you don’t really care who’s behind the counter, I totally get that. But as soon as it becomes like high touch, and high touch already starts with multi-level marketing. If you have a beauty product, you’re totally excited. That’s great, and you can invite people, but do it in a way that does not feel icky. Or, like you’re just in it to sell me your next facial cream, or your next shampoo or your next supplement. Like, be authentic. If I look at the profile of Anna, which we made up the name, I mean, she doesn’t look like travel at all. So that’s the next thing. Just be authentic and true. And believe in what you do. If you want to travel more great write about travel, make posts that people can connect with, let them see who you are. And that will make selling so much easier for you. Everything else feels icky, feel sleazy, feels pushy, is exactly what we need to run away from and what we want to run away from because it feels like we are being used for something, it feels like we are just there for somebody else to make their dreams come true. Which is definitely understandable who doesn’t want to make their dreams come true. But if you don’t give first, if you don’t serve first, your chances of making that big long term impact, they’re pretty slim. If you have something to sell, multi-level marketing, and I experienced that so often with multi-level marketing people, which gives the whole industry a really, really bad taste. I know there are so many amazing people in that field. Some of them are my clients who are totally heart-centered and really want to sell, they’re really excited about the product. They want to make offers from a place that feels awesome. That gives all of the people involved joy and opportunities. I mean, depending on what product you have, you have a great opportunity. So just have a conversation with people, connect. If Anna would have said, “Well, you know, I’m a part-time nurse. I also have a business that focuses on travel and healthy living. I’m totally excited about it. What are you up to? What’s your next step?” So we would have started a conversation and then maybe, you know after I don’t 5,6,7 messages back and forth, she could have said, “Well, you know, I’m trying to grow my team. Would you be interested in having a look at XY that?”, and I don’t know, maybe I would have, maybe not. But it would have opened a door to communication, to a conversation that feels good. Maybe I would have had somebody for Anna that I could have referred if I wasn’t interested because I would have seen that she really truly cares, that she’s genuine, that she is heart-centered, and that she wants to make the world a better place for all people involved playing her game. So I hope that is a lot that you can think about. Have a look at your sales process and make sure that you do not call in the rejections. This was like right away with a second sentence I already knew this is not going to work out. She reached out to me, it’s not that I reached out to her. She already made sure from the beginning that our relationship is going to die pretty quickly. Because she did not think through.

Christine Schlonski [17:10]
Think through your relationships with your customers and potential customers and make sure to find out where can you be of service, where can you deliver value. There are so many amazing people out there doing such a great job and be inspired by them. Have a look at how they work, how they connect. And if you see it as a long term gain, you will win. There’s no other way because relationships always win. So enjoy having a look at your process. Take some notes. And you know, find out three things you want to do in your next conversation that makes a conversation more awesome. And that really, really helps you not to jump into making an offer to quickly but to take the time to build a relationship, to be genuine, to give value to the person. Find something out about them. Like, do they have kids? Do they have pads? Do they enjoy travel? Do they enjoy motivational speaking, coaching, teaching? Whatever it is, find something that you have in common Besides a bunch of mutual friends on Facebook or connections on LinkedIn or whatever it is. Be genuine, have fun. Hop on over tohttps://christineschlonski.com/. Get the empowerment notes, where I support you once a week right into your inbox with empowerment. And where you also get all the updates on the Heart Sells! Podcast episodes.

Christine Schlonski [18:44]
Thank you so so much for listening. I don’t take it lightly that you are here and tuning in. I’m so grateful you are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast. Thank you so so much. I want to give a quick shout out to the United States, to Rochester, New York. Then totally on the other side, L.A. in California. Thank you so much for tuning in. I know you’re listening, and I’m really really honored you’re here as well. I’m so proud to say that Heart Sells! Podcast is listened to in over 30 countries already. Thank you so much, guys. If you have any questions, if you want me to talk about certain sales topics, just write me an email to info@christineschlonski.com or when you are receiving the empowerment notes, just reply let me know where you are, how you feel where you might be stuck. I’m here to help. I’m here to give you value. So that you can build the business you love and the lifestyle you truly desire because happy people make people happy. That said, have a wonderful day and bye for now.