Resources in this Episode

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 102 with one of the global leadership gurus, Dov Baron.

Dov Baron [0:09]
Hi, this is Dov Baron, you’re listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski. Enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:15]
I’m so excited I get to talk to Dov Baron today. He is a man with a finger on the pulse of the evolving world of NextGen leadership. Before we dive in, make sure you hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/. Find the podcast tab and download your personal anniversary issue, which we put together with 100 podcast episodes, all the titles, all the guests and the key points so that when you look for inspiration, motivation, empowerment, or you just want to be uplifted, and listen to a certain episode, you can just go to the anniversary issue and get it right out of there. So you know where to tune into, who to listen to for great, great advice, and which guests you would love to go to for a certain topic. Today, I’m so excited that Dov actually said, “Yes”, to be interviewed on Heart Sells! Podcast. He is one of the top 30 Global Leadership gurus. He’s also cited at the Inc. Magazine’s Top 100 Leadership Speakers to hire and also cited in the Meeting and Event Professionals Guide to The Top 100 Motivational Speakers and Named as one of the Top 30 Global Leadership Guru’s. He has several best selling books. His latest book is Fiercely Loyal; How High Performing Companies Develop and Retain Top Talent. He is the host of the national (US) TV show “Pursuing Deep Greatness with Dov Baron” on ROKU TV, and the host of the Number One Podcast for Fortune 500 Listeners (globally) “Dov Baron’s Leadership and Loyalty Show”. I’m so happy you are here and tuning in because you’re going to learn a ton. So let’s get started. Well, I am so happy to have you here on the show today, Dov. Welcome.

Dov Baron [2:26]
Thank you. I’m excited to be here. I’m excited to serve you and the audience and have a good time.

Christine Schlonski [2:32]
Yes, definitely. That’s one of the most important things that maybe, that takes a learning curve to get that. That it’s about the good time and not about making it more difficult than it needs to be.

Dov Baron [2:46]
Yeah, I think that one of the great challenges we face is that we take ourselves way too seriously. We take what it is we’re doing too seriously. I mean, I think we’re all we’ve all been guilty of it. But the truth of the matter is, you are you are much more likable. You,I, we are much more likable, if we are having fun, and people want to buy from people who have fun, people want to buy from people that connect to and that joy exchange between two people brings them together. I think if you come at people with, I’m an intense guy. I’m a very intense human being. But I’m also intensely playful. I think that’s an important combination, particularly for somebody who is intense.

Christine Schlonski [3:30]
Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. You are, as we just said at the beginning, one of the Top 30 Global Leadership Guru’s.

Dov Baron [3:42]
Whatever that means.

Christine Schlonski [3:45]
is like, you need to master yourself, you need to lead yourself first before you can lead others. Can you give us a little bit down that path, what happened that enabled you to become the person you are today?

Dov Baron [4:06]
That’s a big question. So yeah, I mean, I don’t, as I said, I don’t think it’s possible to genuinely lead another until we until we lead ourselves. I know that because I’ve been on the other side of that, meaning that I was leading people, when I hadn’t fully led myself. It’s easy to take on the role, to take on the title, to take on the status of being a leader. But actually being one demands a high level of not only emotional intelligence but self-knowledge. What I mean by that is, until we look at the very darkest parts of ourselves, as you suggested, back in 1990, I was very successful, probably the most successful I had been up into that point. I’d already been speaking for about six years at that point. I’d had businesses in three continents, and they’ve done pretty great. On a particular day, in June 1990, I was visiting a place so just outside of Whistler, British Columbia, which is where the 2010 Olympics were held. This was of course 1990. So a long time before that. I was visiting this place called Brandywine Falls. It’s a magnificent glacial waterfall, it’s so beautiful in the water, wind is down off the glacier, and as it comes down, it plummets off the edge of a cliff for 200 feet. It is spectacular to watch. My buddy and I decide to hike down to the bottom to look at it, not from the the viewing area. But to hike the bottom, we got to the bottom and I challenged my buddy, that we should try and hide behind the waterfall, facing this 70 mile an hour spray, which is what we did. As crazy as it was, stupid across slippery rocks and a 70 mile an hour spray. But when I came on the other side, I felt like Superman, because all the negative ions I was totally charge and I said to my friend, again, I was an adrenaline junkie, crazy person. I said to my friend, “Let’s not hike back up, let’s climb the face.” So this is a mountain face. Mountain climbing can be dangerous, but you’ve got your ropes and you’ve got your safety lines, and you’ve got a climbing partner and all the rest of it. Free climbing can definitely be crazy because you don’t have ropes. You don’t have safety lines. But what you have is the right gear there choke and a climbing partner. We had none of the above and it was soaking wet. About 120 feet, which is 12 stories I reach for rock, that rock dislodge to bigger rock that, “BAM!”, hit me in the face and suddenly hurtling down, maximum velocity onto the boulders below that smash me to pieces. It was, pretty gruesome, and I can go into the gory details, but I won’t. What I will tell you is, that I was plummeted into not just being broken physically, but broken mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and had to seriously take a look at who I was, and come out of denial about many of the things that I had been in denial of. Up until that moment, I thought my life was fantastic and I was on target and as most people do, but we have these moments and I call them pivotal moments. Sometimes for some people, it’s a divorce or a bankruptcy or horrible diagnosis, or a car accident or something that is so seemingly devastating. That makes us stop in our tracks. If you’re like me, which is what most people are that point is, people always think that’s the turning point your life. No, it’s not. That’s the point where you become embedded. My ego dug in deeper. I was like, “I’m great.” When people say, “How you doing?”, “I’m great, I’m coming back”, there is no coming back. Life doesn’t work back, it works forward. So there’s no coming back. So I was in denial. I was born in a ghetto, I had been a martial artist, I’d been a boxer, I’d been a leader all my life, nothing’s going to break me. I was not going to admit that I was feeling crushed. It wasn’t until I fell into a deep dark depression and looked into the self knows that I needed to do in order to leave my lead myself from my purpose from the inside out. That’s what makes the difference. That’s what we have to do we have to look into the dark cave, as Joseph Campbell said, Look into the dark cave, because that cave is where the where we are fear to step into is where the treasure is.

Christine Schlonski [8:31]
Yeah, totally agree. I mean, what what a story, I hope we inspire so many people who have maybe obstacles that seem compared to that story, like small but for them, they look like the biggest mountain in the way. I really hope that we can inspire them to have a look at themselves and to find that treasure with them so they can lead in their businesses.

Dov Baron [8:56]
Yeah absolutely.

Christine Schlonski [8:57]
Because they all business to perform, fulfill their passion and to give their gifts to the world. Then sometimes we get stuck with small things like picking up the phone.

Dov Baron [9:11]
Yeah, and I want to I want to stop you there for a moment. Because it’s easy to look at that and go, “Oh, well, you know, my stuff doesn’t count because I didn’t fall off a mountain gets masterpieces, or I didn’t get a cancer diagnosis or whatever it is.” Hold on. Let me just let me encourage you to have some compassion for yourself. Courage is subjective. For some people listening, watching us right now they’re gone. “Yeah!”, picking up a phone, no big deal. But for other people, the anxiety is terrifying for them and will please give yourself credit for that. Understand that this is not a small thing. If it’s a big thing for you. It’s a big thing. Don’t compare it to somebody else. So once you get that, that this is a big thing for me, then you can look at what is the small step got me? Because if you look at Dov and you go, “Well, if they can do this, I guess I should do this.” No, no, break it down into your small steps. Because listen, you have the gift within you, this is Christine’s message, this is why she brings her guests to you. You have a gift within you, you have something to bring to the world, you have a responsibility to bring that and we can’t do that without selling who you are. You need to sell the message that you’re trying to bring. If you do that if you give into that fear, which we all have me, Christine, and everybody who’s ever been on the show, right? We all have that fear, if you give into that, you steal from the world, your gift that you’re here to give, and you must take the moment to step into that. Now, in saying that, this is not about, it’s about minuscule, tiny, little steps. What can you do today? What is the step you can do today? You’re allowed to take as many small steps you want, you just not allowed to never take any step, you have to take a step. I don’t care if it’s the size of a mosquito, but you must take some small step every single day. Because success is built on success, incremental success, it’s not about giant leaps, the moment will come and you will take a giant leap. But you must do the incremental steps. So please have compassion for yourself. Give yourself breathing space and understand that courage is subjective. Don’t judge yourself by somebody else, judge yourself by you and go, “Okay, here’s what I need to do. I’m going to do this little step today.” Then when you do it, this is important, you must celebrate it. When you create a courageous step, and you celebrate it, that changes the synaptic exchange in your brain. Neurons that fire together wire together, the more you celebrate your successes, the more success you can have, the less you celebrate them, the less success you can have. Every time is starting from zero unless you celebrate the success. That’s my key takeaway for you in this particular subject. Courage is subjective. So take small steps and celebrate every step, write it down and share it with one person, at least one person, right? You can’t, “But”,it. You can’t go, “I did this but…”, no, no, there’s no, “But.” One small step, celebration, write it down, notarized it, share it with no, “Buts.” Then at the end of every day, you look at your successes, the end of every week, you review the week, at the end of every month, you review the month, and you’ll start wiring your brain for greater and greater and greater successes. That’s when you can actually go, “Oh, I can do the quantum leap.”

Christine Schlonski [12:43]
Yeah, I just love this. Because so often we have the feeling that other people are overnight success. So not true, right? We know that.

Dov Baron [12:53]
No such thing.

Christine Schlonski [12:54]
The first time for me picking up the phone, my hand was shaking, my heart was beating. I don’t even know if it had ever been that fast.It was like one step after the next step, as you just described. I would love for the listeners to be encouraged to whatever is in the way, to take those first steps, to act now. Because if you don’t act now, then there might not be a tomorrow. It’s always good to take a step each and every single day.

Dov Baron [13:24]
Yeah, and as I said, it doesn’t have to be a big one. Make it a small one but don’t set gigantic goals.

Christine Schlonski [13:31]
Yeah, I love the celebration piece. Because for me, that was a huge, difficult thing to learn. Not to attaching a, “But.” Like, “Yeah, I did that. But you know, there’s a next goal on the horizon.So let’s concentrate on that.” Really stopping and celebrating was something I had to learn actually,

Dov Baron [13:54]
You do. You have to learn it and part of the reason you learn it, is because of the societal conditioning. We are all society conditioned that you shouldn’t be a big head, you shouldn’t be a brag God. Now hold on a sec, let’s just get this correct. I want you to think about what celebration means, it means you share it with others, right? Think about what do we actually celebrate? We celebrate our failures. We call it the people, “Blew it. I made such a balls and I made a mistake”, we let everybody know. But when we have successes we go always, “No big deal.” Hold on, hold on, you have to celebrate the success. You can recognize the failing, you can learn from the failing. You can acknowledge it, but you must celebrate the success. Yes, there will always be a, “But”, but you can’t allow it in. You have to say, “This was the complete step but there’s more to do.” Absolutely, there is more to do, but it’s not a, “But”, that’s the next step. This step is complete. What was this step? “I push the donut away.” What was the step? “I held the phone, but I couldn’t dial.” “Fantastic! You held the phone.” “Okay, I dialed but I hung up.” “Fantastic! You picked up the phone, and you held it and you’re dialed rockin. I picked up the phone, held it, dialed the number and I said, “Hello.” Okay, fantastic.” There’s no but each one is a separate step. Celebrate the step or honor the step. Each time find somebody to do it with because that will give you more power. Don’t say, “Well, I didn’t sell a million bucks.” “Okay. Okay, you didn’t sale a million bucks. But did you do? Did you write out what it was?” “Yeah, but I didn’t read it.” “Didn’t ask you, “Did you read it?”, Did you write it out?” “Yes. Fantastic. Celebrate that. Next time, could you commit to saying the first line?” “Reading the first line?” “Yeah. Okay. Great. Fantastic. Do that.” “Okay, did you do the first line?” “No, I did the first three words.” “Fantastic. That’s only three words rockin.” “But I didn’t do the line.” “I don’t care. You did the three words.” Celebrate every incremental success.

Christine Schlonski [16:10]
Yeah, I love that. Because we get so hung up in comparison with others. instead of staying in our own lane and compare like, what did we do yesterday? How did we grow? What are we doing today? How are we growing?

Dov Baron [16:24]
Absolutely.

Dov Baron [16:25]
I just I just love that, every incremental step is worth a celebration. Thank you so much. From listening to you, and like all the energy bring to the table, do you ever have a bad day?

Dov Baron [16:41]
Of course I do. I’m a human. I don’t even met these creatures called humans don’t have s**** day.

Christine Schlonski [16:51]
What do you do when you have a s*** day?

Dov Baron [16:54]
Um, well, I mean, obviously, I understand. Because, like we talked about, you can’t lead another until you lead yourself. What does leading myself mean? It means self knowledge, it means that I’m in a constant state of self inquiry. What it means is, I want to understand what drives me, what motivates me, what others triggers for me. I want to find out all those things. If I know if I’m having a bad day, it is not for no reason. So that’s number one. I start with acknowledging, “I’m feeling s***, it must be some reason.” But I don’t have a reason. I have no right to feel bad. I should be grateful. I’ve got so many things to be grateful for. All that New Age chatter goes on inside of our head, and it just becomes more of the same nonsense that doesn’t allow us to be present. “Hold on a second, forget what I’m supposed to be. That I’m supposed to be energized and I’m supposed to be grateful. That’s all true. So what? But right now I’m feeling like a bag of poo. So just go to that.” “Why?” “Well, there’s no reason.” “Okay. So here’s what I want you to do”, and this is what I do myself, I take out my journal, I go, I feel like a bag of crap. Why? And then Oh, right. I have no reason. I let myself right. What my head saying, I have no reason. And then I right. But if I didn’t have a reason, what would it be? So I just shift my, if I did a reason, what would it be? Well, maybe I just think enough sleep. Okay. See, maybe I’m just having a bad day because I didn’t sleep enough. Maybe having a bad day? Because Oh, yeah, I’m still thinking about that. That disagreement I had with my wife, and I really wasn’t very gracious. And I’m feeling kind of bad about myself. And I allow myself to go back to the place because if I allow myself to go back to the place a then I can ask, well, Can I do anything about it? And the answer is usually, yes. So what can I do? And the answer is usually something courageous, which means go back and say, You know what, I was a bit of a dick. I’m sorry, I was not the greatest person, I behaved in a way that was less than how I would want to be. Please accept my apology. Here is how I was not gracious. Here is I was not helpful, whatever it was, and I feel a lot better. And suddenly my day is changed. Or maybe it’s something historic, historic. Like, I’m feeling bad, but I have no idea why. And if I let myself, “Well, if I didn’t know why, what would it be?” Then I go, “Oh, hmm. Fascinating.” I remember watching that movie last night and in that movie, there was this scene, and I kind of pushed it to the side, but actually reminded me when I was a kid, that reminded me of this thing that you know, you know, maybe I haven’t dealt with that properly yet. And I begin to journal about it. So I give myself. So here’s the key. I don’t try and move myself out of it. This is what everybody will tell you will just get on just moving and get into a positive space. That’s horse crap. Denial is a place in Egypt. Denial, right? Go hang out in denial, swimming denial. But that’s not a place to be in your psychology. Well, you have to be is to be present with, sit in it. Be present with it, so that you can let it pass over you. If you’re in denial of it, you repress it. Depression comes from repression. We enter depression, because we’ve repressed something. I don’t want to depression. I know I used to be severely depressed. I don’t want that. So I don’t repress. What I do is I let myself be with it long enough, and then say, “Okay, what can I do now?” And then I can take an action. Then I can notice every day, what am I grateful which I do every day? What am I grateful for? What do I appreciate? What are the actions I can take today to move me towards my outcome? What is my purpose? Why am I here on this planet? Who am I here to serve? If I don’t know that, that’s my first question. Why am I here? Who am I here to serve? Let me connect to that. So that I can serve in a greater way in the world. One of the things I know is, that lot of that self destructive thought process is because I’m too engage with me. I’m not thinking about who I can serve. I’m not going to be in denial. I’m going to address but I’m also going to say, “Okay, I can hover in this place, I can stay stuck in it, which is a downward spiral. I can look at what I can, admit it, own it, claim it”, see what I can do about it and then go, “Okay, how can I serve in the world?” And sometimes you ever in a crap day, and you just don’t feel it, can you? Go, “Okay, so I said challenge myself to do is I’ve got Okay, I feel just like I can’t serve anybody. So what I’m going to do?”, again, incremental, small things. I’m going to go to Starbucks. I’m going to go to Starbucks and get a coffee. Now I know why I’m going, I’m not going to coffee, I can make coffee in my house. I’m not going to coffee. I’m going to coffee, because I have to smile at three people before I get to Starbucks. eyeballs to eyeballs, smile at them. When I get to Starbucks, I have to be very nice and not as in pleasant. I have to be engaging with the person behind the counter. How are you? How was your day? Tell me what was good about your day today? I actually will say that in there. Oh, you know, somebody’s interested in them. I know, I can leave Starbucks going to touch somebody’s life. Suddenly, oh, look, I’m not in such a crappy place anymore. So yes, of course, I have terrible days, we all have terrible days. Most of my terrible days don’t last more than a few minutes. Because I deal with them by being present with them first, like don’t deny them and be present with them. And then I move on. And then I look at how I can serve.

Christine Schlonski [22:35]
What a great advice. So have you ever had a challenge calling people that you have never spoken to? Or was that something you could kind of do naturally?

Dov Baron [22:49]
I’ve always had a problem and still have a problem with it. I’ve been doing this for 35 years, my god 35 years now I’m old. I just realized how old I am. Yes, I still, I mean, you know, because I have a podcast and I interview very famous people and talk to them all the time. No problem whatsoever. You know why? You know why it’s no problem interview them? Because I have all the power. I have the power, it’s my interview. I’m in charge that coming to me. But when you go to go to them, and you’re going to pick up the phone and say something I’d like. I think I’m choking on my own heart. Hold on a sec. What I have to do in order to help myself is shift the power dynamic, because that’s all it is, it’s power dynamic. So in my interviews with these people. I’ve interviewed all three of the people behind you, in the image behind you, on the cameras that are there. They are actually all friends of mine or clients of mine. I’ve interviewed very famous people that people would love to interview. People say, “Do you get nervous?” Never. Because I understand the power dynamic. So what you have to do in a sales thing is shift the power dynamic. And the power dynamic is this, in a sales call, the presumption is, “I want something you have.” So it shifts the power dynamic. I have something you want.

Christine Schlonski [24:23]
Yes.

Dov Baron [24:24]
That’s the shift and that’s how I get over it. I have something you want. So I am looking for what it is you want, and I don’t get off the phone until I know what you want. Once I know what you want, then I can say, “You know, I do not offer that. It’s not what I offer.” I had a conversation with somebody the other day, and they were saying what they want. I was like, “You know, that is wonderful. It’s so not what I offer. But you know, I can actually introduce you to somebody who does that. But the work that I do is deep. We deal with some very, we get down to the nitty gritty. We deal with that. Then we get you connected to your purpose and your organization’s purpose. I’m selling a very big ticket item. If you’re looking for a $5,000 item, that’s great. I just don’t serve, that’s not who I am and it’s not what we offer. But let me introduce you to this person.” Because I know from that context that I’m going in, to offer something they want. What that means is, I know that they need what I’ve got. If they don’t need what, that even if they don’t see that they need what I’ve got, I know someone who can give them what they need. And so I’m always in this place of looking to serve something they need the power dynamic shifts, as opposed to you’ve got something I want, which is your money. No, I’ve got something you want the you would pay money for. That’s the shift.

Christine Schlonski [25:55]
Yeah, awesome, awesome. Time just flies. We have set up another interview. I would love to invite people to go to https://fullmontyleadership.com/gift because you have an amazing gift for them to pick up. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Dov Baron [26:15]
Yeah, if you go to https://fullmontyleadership.com/gift. When you get to that page, I’m going to give you an opportunity to be able to have one of my books, One Red Thread, I think I also put their purposes missing piece. One Red Thread is how to find your purpose as an individual, it’s a process. Also, I’ve given you access to one of my ecosystem as well. By going and getting that you’ll also, you know, I’ll tell you upfront, you’ll also be on our mailing list. The good thing about that is you also get first offers on anything else that comes out before anybody else finds out about it. There’s a pile of resources actually, throughout that site. There’s my videos, my audios, there’s always 600 videos, 600 podcasts, 600 articles. There’s a lot of stuff. So there’s all kinds of great resources for you.

Christine Schlonski [27:08]
Awesome. Well, thank you so so much, and I’m really looking forward for the next conversation.

Dov Baron [27:13]
I am so looking forward to it. Thank you for having me on, Christine. It’s a pleasure.

Christine Schlonski [27:16]
Thank you. Well, Dov has such an amazing story of how he overcame obstacles, how he really found his own path, and how he serves at the highest that he can. So lead yourself first for me was really, really an inspiration and hope you enjoyed it as well. Make sure you subscribe to Heart Sells! Podcast, and please share it with two of your amazing friends so that they can tune in as well and get all the empowerment and the uplifting information that we’re sharing here. Make sure you tune in for the next podcast with Dov, where we talk about the four things you are really selling. If you have time, and you feel like you need more inspiration, hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/. Get your anniversary issue with all the 101st episodes of Heart Sells! Podcast and their key points to really uplift you empower you, motivate you and just tuned into more episodes there right there at your fingertips when you hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ Find the podcast tab and enjoy listening. Thank you so much for being here for tuning in. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world. And I’m seeing bye for now.