Resources in this Episode:

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hey, Gorgeous. This is episode number 091. And we have been back on the show the wonderful Elisabeth Valentine.

Elisabeth Valentine [0:10]
Hi, this is Elisabeth Valentine and you’re listening to Heart Sells! with Christine Schlonski. Enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:16]
I’m so looking forward to deepening my conversation with Elisabeth Valentine and she has shared such an amazing quote on episode number 090. So you really need to check that out. And well, we are going to pick it up right there. If you have not already, hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ and find the podcast tab. There you will find all the podcast episodes including the show notes, the transcripts, all the resources be sharing. But also on the top of the page. There is a sign up for the empowerment notes. These are my weekly empowerment notes to your inbox right away, where I share with you what’s going on this Heart Sells! Podcast where I am sending motivation, inspiration and knowledge and tips your way that I usually do not share elsewhere. So hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ Find the podcast tab and sign in for the empowerment notes. And now we are ready to go into the next interview with Elisabeth Valentine. And she is a voiceover artist, a singer, speaker coach, and consultant. And she has really amazing brands she is working with, like Disney, Apple, Google, Fisher-Price, My Little Pony and H&M. And maybe you have already heard her voice when you were listening to the radio or watching TV. Through her company, The Voice Campus. She coaches entrepreneurs and business leaders on perfecting their public speaking, pitching, networking and confidence skills. I am so super excited to have her back on the show. So let’s dive right in. Well, I am so super excited to have you back on the show, Elisabeth, welcome to Heart Sells!

Elisabeth Valentine [2:15]
Thank you so much, Christine. It’s such a pleasure to be back here on your wonderful podcast.

Christine Schlonski [2:21]
Thank you. And you know, we kind of ran out of time on the first podcast and I so often have that feeling I do with my amazing guests. And we finished off with this wonderful quote where we both don’t know who said that, but can you just repeat it for us one more time.

Elisabeth Valentine [2:40]
I will absolutely repeat it. So the quote is, “If you want things in your life to change, you have to change things in your life.” I mean, is that just brilliant?

Christine Schlonski [2:53]
It’s it’s absolutely brilliant.

Elisabeth Valentine [2:55]
It’s so simple. It’s just, it’s just beautiful. And

Elisabeth Valentine [3:01]
I think it’s so easy to get into the same habits. You’re always doing the same thing because people we are creatures of habit. Yeah. And I just think it’s really empowering. Because it’s like, “Hang on a minute. I’ve got the power to create whatever life I want for myself. But I have to change something.”

Christine Schlonski [3:26]
Yes. Just understanding this part is so crucial.

Elisabeth Valentine [3:31]
Isn’t it? Yeah,

Christine Schlonski [3:33]
Yeah. Because I mean, I was brought up like, go to school, get good grades. Daddy glide, get a good job. But understanding that part that you create, and then you can do what ever you want to do if you’re taking the right steps. That took quite a while to understand and to go, to leave that upbringing. My parents, they wanted the best for me, but they could only teach me what they knew.

Elisabeth Valentine [4:00]
Yeah.

Christine Schlonski [4:01]
So changing things and hiring your standard. What do you accept in your life? What’s the lowest thing you can deal with? That’s what you probably get.

Elisabeth Valentine [4:19]
Yeah, it is. And that’s so resonates with me. Because I think a lot of us, our parents were the generation where you get a job, be grateful that you have a job and you stick at it, no matter how you actually feel about it. You should just be grateful. My parents were in the same job for, like, 40 years. I know that my mom regrets some things because actually, she could have done more, because she’s incredibly bright. But in the social circumstances of how life you know, was or that was the that was the norm, you get a job, you stick at it. And she was phenomenally good at her job. But you know, I think we’re new generation who have to go, that was their paradigm. We’re in a new paradigm where actually you choose. And it’s incredible when you start shifting little things.

Christine Schlonski [5:26]
When you start choosing.

Elisabeth Valentine [5:27]
When you start choosing.

Christine Schlonski [5:29]
Yes.

Elisabeth Valentine [5:29]
And when you start.

Christine Schlonski [5:31]
For women.

Elisabeth Valentine [5:36]
Yeah. Because I think we’re so used to just being people pleasers. And going, “Oh, yes. Okay, yeah, I’ll be a good girl.” And I certainly know that I work with my coach on that all the time. And it’s like, but actually, that’s not going to work for me. You know, giving you that price that you want. It’s just not going to work for me. This is what’s going to work for me. You have to make the decision. Yes.

Christine Schlonski [6:03]
Yeah. And and that’s so interesting. I’ve said something I learned that. I don’t remember who said it. But it was, no as a full sentence.

Elisabeth Valentine [6:13]
Yes.

Christine Schlonski [6:14]
Because it’s especially women. We always want to explain the decision. No, is a full sentence.

Elisabeth Valentine [6:24]
Yeah. Yeah. And then inside, you’re like, “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can’t believe it said no.” But yeah. I can’t make it. That’s not possible. That’s a great sentence as well. That is just a softer way to say no.

Christine Schlonski [6:38]
Yeah. But you don’t need to explain yourself or excuse yourself why you said, “No”, or find an excuse like, “Oh, I don’t have time”, which you always know if you want something be fine. But yeah, being really clear on your own desires. I think it’s so important. Because then you can change that those things, change things.

Elisabeth Valentine [7:04]
Yeah, exactly. No, it’s true. And I mean, if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know what, when you’ve gotten there, and how will you know what path to take? But when you get clear about, I want to live an extraordinary life. I want to feel free. I want to be creative. I want to work with people, whatever it is that you want to do. You need to make that decision. And then you also need to decide what you want to give up to get that. I mean, it’s just interesting. I started last year, going for walks really early in the morning. So this morning, [6:30], I was out walking with great inspirational podcast in my ears, the sun was coming up, I was standing because I wanted to be really energetic for this interview. I could have also chosen to lay in bed until [9:30] and gone, “Uhh, I’m going to speak to Christine now.” But I wanted to be really energized for our conversation. So I’m like, “Okay, but I know what makes me feel good.” And you need to know what makes you feel good, so that you can have the energy to go after those really big dreams that you’ve got.

Christine Schlonski [8:29]
Yeah. I love it. So you mentioned in the other interview that you took on a client that you regret it.

Elisabeth Valentine [8:38]
Oh, yes, yes.

Christine Schlonski [8:40]
I always encourage my clients to not do that. What did you learn?

Elisabeth Valentine [8:46]
Oh, my God. I mean, that’s the thing, when things go wrong, or when things are shit, the best thing in the world, because that’s where you really grow.

Christine Schlonski [8:55]
Yes.

Elisabeth Valentine [8:56]
And that’s where you can go, “Ah, that was crap.” But you know what, I’m so grateful. Because now I know, to not put myself in that situation again. So yeah, I mean, I had, as I say, I really go with how I feel about a deal or a person, and I don’t any more, try and explain it to myself why I feel like that I just go, “Nope, that doesn’t feel right to me.” Not to say that there’s anything wrong with the deal, the person that it’s just, it doesn’t feel right for me, so I’m not going to do it. But sometimes we kind of undermine ourselves by going, “Oh, but really. Well, you know, what, I probably should take this client”, and it was a few reasons why I did it. I wanted to please my agent. I was like, “Yeah, but it would be really good for me actually”, it was a new, it was a different type of the skills. So I do script writing for TV. So I write the script. So I said, “No, but you know what, it would be really great.” But I should have listened to my gut because I undersold the value of what I was giving, maybe because I hadn’t gone through the exercise of, “Okay, what is my worth? What is the value I’m bringing? What is the evidence of what it’s going to do for this client?” So I set the price way too low for various reasons, and we sometimes even now, I’m so to it. It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare from start to finish. I was really resentful of the work because I wasn’t being paid my worth. But that was my own fault. So I was also annoyed with myself. But it was so great when the project finished. I think we actually reached a really great result at the end, but also like, “Okay, never again, am I going to undercharge”, because they didn’t value me as much as they should have done. Because I put the price too low. And I tell you it wasn’t valuing my time because I put the price too low. And I feel stressed. I felt anxious. It was not a good feeling. So going – go on.

Christine Schlonski [11:27]
Just pointing out that you yourself felt undervalued. But also that your client didn’t give you the treatment you deserve.

Elisabeth Valentine [11:41]
Yeah,

Christine Schlonski [11:42]
Because you gave them the signal with you’re too low price. That your services are not worth that much. That’s a very wonderful learning for people that are listening today. That by not charging enough. It’s not just your clients who might not take the action. They also might communicate in a way that you don’t like. I think that’s pretty amazing.

Elisabeth Valentine [12:12]
I know. I mean, I’m so grateful that I actually took the job when I was in it. But yeah, I’m grateful because it does signal, “Oh, I’m not worth that much”, and then how you treat yourself allows other people to treat you in that way. And that goes for our personal relationships. It goes from our professional life relationships. It’s how you treat your body, your mind, what are you filling yourself with. Are you doing good things for yourself? Are you doing things that are detrimental, ultimately?

Christine Schlonski [12:50]
Brings us back to the quote again.

Elisabeth Valentine [12:52]
Yes.

Christine Schlonski [12:54]
Going full circle.

Christine Schlonski [12:58]
Do you have an advised like, it would be nice if people who listen don’t need to make that mistake? Getting clear is probably one step, but also in starting to change things and starting to value yourself more. And not taking your gifts for granted. What can people do to put themselves or set themselves up with a better mindset, this better action taking? Will hey get these results that feel more VIP?

Elisabeth Valentine [13:32]
Yeah. Well, that’s a wonderful question. So I think if you are in the habit of underselling yourself, undervaluing yourself, not following up on the promises you make to yourself, I think pick one little thing that’s going to make you happy, doesn’t have to do anything with your business or anything. But just look at. Okay, what is something I know that is going to fuel me or that’s going to make me feel really full of energy, really just happy and fun, or not happy and fun. But you know, pick one thing, and just start, just set yourself a date in the diary and go on a date with yourself. Don’t tell anyone, maybe, and just start doing stuff that fuels you. And maybe start with it once a month or then you go, “Well, once a week, I’m going to do something.” And then start making the little incremental changes to really respect yourself. Some of the things that I’ve done, I mean, I mentioned I walk most mornings, with great music in my ears, with a great podcast or some audio Cds.

Christine Schlonski [15:02]
Like Heart Sells!

Elisabeth Valentine [15:03]
Yeah, like Heart Sells! with Christine Schlonski. Exactly. Instead of filling your head with rubbish, and social media and the news that are really draining, and makes you feel anxious about the future, because we’re being bombarded with so many negative messages. Instead, make a choice, “You know what, today, I’m not gonna watch that reality show. You know what, I’m gonna watch”, whatever it may be, that you do that you really know, isn’t great for you. And just make one choice. And let me tell you, it’s amazing how quickly you start feeling better. And it motivates you to do other great things. Like I decided in February, I wasn’t going to stream TV shows. And I wasn’t going to eat crisps. Because I freakin love crisps. I was just eating too many crisps. I thought, “No, I’m just going to prove to myself that I can go 28 days”, because it was February, “I can go 20 days without eating crisps.” Maybe you go up one week without eating takeaway, whatever it might be. Just so you keep a promise to yourself.

Christine Schlonski [16:28]
We’re going to cut that the words more water than coffee. Especially when I talked to a voice coach.

Elisabeth Valentine [16:37]
Well, as long as you water as well, well as the coffee

Christine Schlonski [16:44]
And coffee.

Elisabeth Valentine [16:46]
Well, we’re only human. But I would love to actually just give you another quote that really changes the way you think about clients. Because a lot of us, you know, want to be liked by everyone. And when you’re selling and if you get a rejection, you think, “Oh my god, I take it personally, they don’t like me. Oh, no, everything is shit”, you can go down that rabbit hole. I have the great pleasure of meeting the performer Dita Von Teese a couple of years ago, she’s got this fabulous little voice. One of her quotes goes, I’m going to do the voice, “You can be the ripest, juices peach in the world. And they’ll still be people who don’t like peaches.”

Christine Schlonski [17:38]
So true.

Elisabeth Valentine [17:40]
Right. So true. Yeah. So you can be the best at what you do. But there’s still gonna be people who don’t like it and that’s okay. That’s okay.

Christine Schlonski [17:52]
Yeah. Oh, definitely. Understanding that from all humans on this planet, not everybody will resonate with you. It’s not possible because you don’t resonate with everybody either. You have people that you love and adore. And then you have people you care less for. Obviously, other people have the same perspective with you. So just being okay with that. But it all comes back to the self-worth piece that we just discussed as well. And and I would love to add that, celebrating your wins. Even the small things like really acknowledging the ground you’ve taken. What I do, I have this little ritual that, whenever I sign up a new client, or I do a new course, or whatever, I celebrate somehow. Could be there’s champagne, or it could be that I actually buy something I wanted to buy, but I did hold it off as a celebration. It doesn’t need to be expensive stuff. It’s just something that makes me happy. Something that I enjoy that, if it’s something material, if I see it each day because I don’t know, maybe it’s a ring or earrings or something for my desk or beautiful pen or whatever. Just it’s a reminder. It reinforces the success you’ve had and the learnings you’ve had, the growth you’ve had. I think just being able to celebrate, which I never did earlier in my life. It was just, “Yeah, okay, got that. So what’s the next goal?” Not really valuing yourself either when you just keep moving to the next goal, instead of saying, “Okay, or maybe it wasn’t perfect.” In reference to the story, it was the bread you shared on our previous episode. Well, maybe it’s not the best bread yet because I don’t have any walnut added. But I’ve done it. I allow myself to go out not being perfect. Because I don’t think there’s such a thing that’s perfect. And I achieve that goal. And even small goals, just celebrating. Maybe you did manage in your pack day to keep through and have that date night with your husband. Just celebrating that or you went for the walk-off, three times a week, maybe you managed a fourth time. Just celebrating these little, little wins, I think really helps us to also get this evidence that you mentioned. Because when you start celebrating yourself and allowing yourself, like the beautiful things that you usually deny yourself, because you’re busy. Keeping on track was all of your goals. I think that’s also when you understand that I’m worth. I just got this nice testimonial for my client, great. So maybe today I’m going to have like, a special salad, or whatever. Just small things but acknowledging it, I think is so important.

Elisabeth Valentine [21:34]
I absolutely, absolutely agree. Because, as you say, we’re so focused on the next level, the next step, are going to get better, got to get better. But actually looking back and an exercise that I sometimes do is like this five-year exercise. So I go back, where was I five years ago? What was I doing? How much money was I earning? Where was I living house? How am I spending my time? Who was surrounding me? And then I look at, where am I now? And it’s incredible to see, “Oh my gosh. You know what, I am twice as much as I did five years ago, or four times as much or,” but it also shows you, “Okay, maybe I’m not quite on track to where I want to go. Because the final part of the exercise is going five years out in the future. And going, where am I in five years? Where am I living? Who am I surrounding myself with? What’s my life? Like? How much money am I earning?” Because then you can see, “Okay, where is it that I want to go? And where have I been?” So I can see again, evidence, I can see how much I’ve moved in five years.

Christine Schlonski [22:51]
Yeah, that’s amazing. And to be honest, I love Facebook for that, because we do have reminders. When I look at the stuff that pops up in my timeline for me to either approve or not. I’m sometimes I’m looking at it and all and I’m just thinking like, “Wow, that was two years ago. I can’t believe that”, just the energy I showed up like this. We got to start somewhere. Going back, I only know what going forward like but going back, that’s and combining those two.

Elisabeth Valentine [23:30]
Yeah. Yeah, it’s, it’s pretty cool. Because you’re right. We don’t take the time to stand still and go, “Wow, you know what”, and you don’t need other people to pat you on the back. You just need to pat you on back and go, “You know what, I showed up today for my own standards.”

Christine Schlonski [23:54]
Yeah. Oh, that’s beautiful. Wonderful. Well, time just flies.

Elisabeth Valentine [23:59]
I know.

Christine Schlonski [24:02]
What is the last thing you would love to leave the audience with?

Elisabeth Valentine [24:09]
I’d love to leave the audience with, just this, remember your dreams, and they do come true. If you work for the many few. I think really, your passion can become your livelihood. I mean, I’m perfect example. If you just keep showing up as your authentic self, speaking your truth, even though some people aren’t going to like it. But if you keep being true to yourself, then all your dreams really can come true. And you can create an incredible life for yourself.

Christine Schlonski [24:59]
Wonderful. Thank you so so much, Elizabeth. I so enjoyed that those interviews with you. And thank you for being here.

Elisabeth Valentine [25:07]
No, thank you so much for having me on. I really, really enjoyed it. And yeah, it’s been really great. Thank you. Bye.

Christine Schlonski [25:20]
I so very much enjoyed the conversation with Elisabeth Valentine. And I hope you did, too. Thank you so, so much for spending time with us today. And I want to give you our weekly challenge. Get out your journal and really reflect back. Are there any childhood dreams that you have forgotten about? Is there anything you really, really wanted to do like Elisabeth, but you forgot? It’s not time to reflect on that and to get back to really make all your dreams come true. Figure out what was the biggest dream. And what is one action you can take right now to move forward this dream, to move forward realizing this dream if this dream is still relevant. Hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ Find the podcast tab and sign up for the empowerment notes. Because these are my notes going right into your inbox once a week. And they come this motivation, inspiration, tips, strategies, advice from all I have learned and what I’m going through right now so that I can share with you and that I can empower you. In case you don’t know or you are not aware of something that you can take the right action to create your dream business and dream life. Thank you so so much for being here. I appreciate you. And I can’t wait for the next episode, and for your feedback. So hop on over to https://christineschlonski.com/ Sign up for the empowerment notes and I am wishing you a wonderful, wonderful day, wherever you are in this beautiful world. And bye for now.