Resources in this Episode:

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 060 with a wonderful master intuitive, Katy Bray.

Katy Bray [0:10]
Hi, this is Katy Bray. You’re listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski, enjoy!

Christine Schlonski [0:17]
I am so pumped you are back and you are listening in today. So, we have an amazing guest. And, we are going to go deep on creating, on manifesting, on how to get your business up and running from a very intuitive perspective. And Katy Bray is a master intuitive. She is a professional clairvoyant and gifted empath, whose direct and loving approach has been game changing for those seeking to achieve the next level of success with greater confidence and authenticity. As a psychic she is exceptionally well versed in transformative techniques for accessing information. And fast forwarding grows and has created her own style that is unique adept at helping individuals gain access to what slows down the manifestation process and being fully in their power. In fact, her clients say that working with Katy is the most powerful partnership they’ve ever experienced. Katy Bray is a lifelong clairvoyant, who went to become a Vedic master, a Herbalist, a practitioner of Tantra, and as a non denominational ordained minister. Her body of work is based in multi-dimensional living. She has worked with over 12,000 individuals, and has led more than 100 group teachings. She helps us to see the patterns of our humanity, and how to get unhooked from the things that get us stuck. I’m so super excited to have Katy on the show today. And also, before we dive right in, make sure you sign yourself in for the Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass, to learn spiritual and practical steps, how to increase your sales and create true wealth without losing your authenticity. The class will start in May. So make sure you sign in now and reserve your spot. It’s a free online class, and I’m going to bring to you amazing rock star entrepreneurs who have had quite some challenges in their lives, but who overcame it. And who will teach a very important segment that if you implemented, you probably will change your business and your life. So, let’s welcome Katy. Well, I am so happy to have you here today, Katy, and I can’t wait to dive into your amazing story. Yeah, you are highly you’re an empath. And I think a lot of people listening are very sensitive and empathic. So, can you give us a little bit more background on your personal story? Because the journey has been amazing. And how yet yeah, show us a little bit more that people might not find elsewhere.

Katy Bray [3:34]
Yeah, well, my story and being an empath is definitely, it’s definitely interesting. So I was actually, as many of us are, I was born empathic, but I was also born clairvoyant, which is a little bit more rare and something some people just don’t talk about much. But what I found was being in the world, felt very hard for me for a long time. I felt a lot more comfortable sort of letting my imagination run, or, you know, just being elsewhere, let’s say. And, by the time I reached the age of about 16 17, I know that I was, I was going into my senior year of high school, I know that, and I was, unfortunately, I was sexually assaulted. And then after right after that, my both of my grandparents died. And I was very, very close to them. And then just after that, a lifelong friend of mine was killed in a car accident. And so you can imagine that as someone who doesn’t feel deeply, those are all very hard things, especially in a pretty short period of time. That that’s just hard, hard life stuff, right? And for me, not only was it hard life stuff, I didn’t understand that my empathic nature was picking up on so much more, that I was feeling for the feelings of in my family, with my grandparents passing, not only was I feeling my own, I was feeling everyone else’s, especially the kinds of things that are really hard for other people to have access to, and to really process or the things that I was processing. And, so it was the same with my friend who was a teenager, he was killed in a car accident. I mean, it’s always tragic when people die, of course, but I mean, this was a 17 year old kid. And so you know, dealing with my friends, and all the people affected by that I just had this unbearable time, I just, I literally didn’t feel like I could bear it. And I wondered, you know, does everyone feel this much? Am I going crazy? You know, it wasn’t so much that I was judging myself as much as it was like, is this really what life is about? I mean, really, that was a big question that I had, because I was in so much pain, I just didn’t know what to do with myself. And what I found from there was that alcohol really numbed those feelings. And, so I spent the next several years drinking a lot to the point where I had a serious alcohol problem. But I wasn’t addressing any of the empathic stuff, I wasn’t addressing any of the emotional mental stuff, you know, with having PTSD from my assault, and just just the grieving process and losing a friend. So tragically, at that age was very hard for me to reconcile. So, I ended up, I ended up on a bunch of different like head medications, I was drinking, I ended up staying in bed I was agoraphobic for, and for those of you who don’t know, that means you’re scared to go out anywhere, basically, in short, so I laid in bed for two years, and I just self medicated. And so I had a pivotal moment where I heard this voice say, to me, it was just one night, and I heard this voice say to me, “You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out of this.” And, I was never the same after that. But it did take me I mean, I went right into therapy. And I went into AA, and I started doing the things that I really needed to do to get my inner house back in order. But it did take me time, years, a few years to understand that part of what I was dealing with that therapy wasn’t helping me with, although I’m a big fan of therapy, it helped me hugely, but it wasn’t reaching the part of me that was so empathic and energetically sensitive. And so I really made it a big part of my life’s work and my mission to, no matter what I’m doing, to really educate and inform and support people who have this additional layer of sensitivity, that if, if you don’t have it, it’s very hard to understand and relate to. I mean, I admit that freely, it’s, it’s, it’s like explaining to someone who hasn’t been in a war or been through childbirth, what it’s actually like you can conceptualize it, but really grasping it, and connecting with people is very hard.

Christine Schlonski [8:35]
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I totally get it. And it’s, and it’s so interesting because being an empath, yeah, like, it’s a different scale on the emotional level, right? So, and it’s really interesting, because so often, and you know, this podcast is about how those beautiful people with these amazing gifts, can enjoy sales, which usually is something that’s, you know, scary to people. or are dreading where they say, “Oh, my goodness, if I just think of sales, my stomach turns, I want to run away, I worry about the people and their money, I feel like a scam”, like, all the stuff is coming up. So, when you really are into this emotional word, I would guess it’s even more difficult to adjust your mindset to a place where you can, first of all, embrace your own gifts, value your own gifts, and then finding a way of how to make offers with confidence, with ease, with grace, that somebody else actually has the opportunity to, to get your support and to buy from you. So you have this like, amazing turnaround. And I know, so many people have been in really really, difficult situations, and we definitely all have our challenges. Since we all have our own filters, it’s difficult to compare, like, oh, my goodness, your challenge is so much bigger than mine is now. Gosh, yeah. So and you know, I mean, this is an audio podcast, so people don’t see you, but you are shining bright. And, you know, you have this wonderful energy that, that shows that, I guess somebody that doesn’t know you would have never ever guessed the whole story behind that.

Katy Bray [10:36]
It’s true. Whenever I share it, and or, and I’m out speaking in front of people, they look at me like I have 1000 heads where I’m like, No, I used to be that woman. I was over 250 pounds and I was hiding in a corner because I didn’t know how to have a conversation. That was me.

Christine Schlonski [10:51]
Yeah.

Katy Bray [10:53]
And I not even close!

Christine Schlonski [10:55]
Yes, and I think that’s so inspiring because now you’re here, now you’re actually a leader in your field. Right? And for people who want to check you out a little bit more. I mean, I do have it on the podcast page, but leadwiththelightson.com. Yeah, amazing name. Yeah, really what you’re all about to today. So, how did you find the way to start your own business and start actually selling and having these conversations that, that for so many people are so difficult to have?

Katy Bray [11:38]
That’s a great question. And that’s, that’s why I really, I love and value this podcast because I think it’s a really important conversation. I think, unfortunately, a lot of us are still conditioned in some capacity or have been to think that, you know, sales is that slimy thing where you’re trying to, you know, get something from someone else, basically, you’re trying to get money from someone else, and you just happen to be giving them something in exchange, right? And it’s really important to change that conversation. And I think in that changing the conversation around money is also important that money is not the root of all evil, the love of money is the problem. I trust that a lot of people these days, and particularly, I would imagine the people who listen to your podcast, are not greedy people who just want money above anything and everything else. And I and I know I had to turn a lot of my own stuff around like you were talking about in the beginning, just that fear of sales. Oh, my gosh, I, I actually, for so long was so afraid of sales that I was, I was actually on food stamps at one point in my life. And a lot of that had to do with my lack of understanding of my value. It wasn’t that I didn’t have value, it was that I didn’t understand that my value actually meant something to someone else. And, what I had to start remembering was what a pleasure it is for me when I go to see someone, it whether it’s a practitioner, whether it’s some kind of service, whether it’s a product, that it’s a pleasure for me to give them money, because I want what they’re providing, I’m going to them because I want, what they have, or what they can give me and it is an absolute joy to know that the money that I am giving them is actually supporting their ability to keep providing what it is that they provide. And so I really had to switch that conversation around and start from there. Because I am such a heart-centered person who would, my default is to do for everyone else before I do for myself and on a daily basis, have to look at that. I don’t care how much work I’ve done. That is that is my Achilles, I have to look at that all the time. And so when I could look at it from that perspective, and and I love when you were talking about, you know, being an empath and sales and I actually think another way to reframe our ability to feel all of those things and sales is, is there is an important refrain that being sensitive for empathic, however, you identify, is actually our superpower. Because we know so well, how to connect with other people. And when we really believe in the value of what it is that we are offering, and we know that what we provide will add value to someone else’s life. As sensitive people, we meet them where they are, we speak their language. And I do not mean this in any kind of manipulative way. It’s, I really do want to support you in this and if it feels right for you, here’s an opportunity, let’s partner on this together, or let me provide this for you. And this is just an exchange, that’s all that it is. So I think being sensitive or empathic is is one of the great powers that we have in sales when we remember to use it in integrity with who we are. And in a way where we know that it is mutually supportive. That’s what sales are, it is, it is a system that is mutually supportive of two or more groups of people. Who are the mutual support is helping each other through life. No matter what it is. That’s what that’s what it is.

Christine Schlonski [15:45]
Yeah, yeah. And I so agree like this exchange, I think one of the big challenges is to understand the difference between value and perceived value. Because when you look at yourself, and I just taught that in my Heart Sells! Smart Start. Say that as fast as you can! And that makes a big difference for people like how you see yourself, because it’s your gift, it’s your experience at what you are trained at, or what you learn, you’re really good at it. So it’s easy, it’s fun. And you could do it all day long, no matter if you paid for it or not.

Katy Bray [16:29]
Right.

Christine Schlonski [16:30]
But the difficulty that comes with it, and you mentioned that earlier is when you have difficulties to sell your services because, for you, it’s not that big of a deal.

Katy Bray [16:42]
Yes!

Christine Schlonski [16:43]
But for the other person’s a perceived value is life changing, maybe even life-saving. And to wrap our heads around this to be able to make an offer and to ask for money. I think that’s like a huge step.

Katy Bray [17:01]
It’s a huge step. And I love that you touched on that. Because something that I say a lot to my clients in a different context, But it’s the same thing. It’s, you know, your, your gifts are so normal to you that you don’t recognize them as being your unique gift to the world. Because it’s your normal.

Christine Schlonski [17:22]
Yeah!

Katy Bray [17:22]
And and that’s fair. But when we’re looking at sales, it is a relationship thing. So part of what we do in any relationship, if it’s a healthy one, in my opinion, is we put ourselves in that other person’s shoes. We, we connect and wonder what is it like to be in their world and to be in their life and what you know. So there’s that built an idea that we can step into someone else’s shoes. And so when we do that, your gifts are going to appear very differently. All of a sudden, if you’re standing in someone else’s shoes and looking at yourself, and you’re offering, it’s not going to seem so ordinary anymore, I don’t care what it is. I mean, people could argue with me on that. I’ll argue all day about that. I am sure. Because we all have gifts, we’re all here to offer something.

Christine Schlonski [18:17]
Yes.

Katy Bray [18:17]
That’s why we’re here. There’s to me, there’s just there’s no way around that.

Christine Schlonski [18:22]
Yeah, and and I totally agree. And that’s why I’m so passionate about this topic because I see so many people struggling, giving that gift to the world because they’re missing this sales piece.

Katy Bray [18:36]
Yeah!

Christine Schlonski [18:36]
Where they actually have an exchange for their services, and this simple energy exchange is called money. That money helps us to pay for our dreams, support our world and to be able to offer services. Because we are not only surviving and you know, are capable to pay the bills, but we can do something that makes our soul sing. Maybe it’s traveling, maybe it’s giving to a good cause, what whatever it is, the more money we receive, the more value we have delivered.

Katy Bray [19:16]
Yeah. And to add to that, I mean, I think we all know this. But if we’re in survival mode, we’re not really, in our gifts, we’re so busy fighting to live and fighting to pay that bill and fighting for food. And, it puts us more in that sort of animal primitive place. Because we’re animals, that’s our instinct. And so when it, when it becomes a situation where we don’t have enough money, and we don’t feel capable of asking for what we need, we’re basically putting ourselves in that survival mode where we do where we can start to feel disconnected from our gifts. You know, life does really change when you feel like life is solely about survival. And unfortunately, I think a lot of people were taught that there’s certainly an era not that long ago, where that was still pretty much what life was like. I mean, the depression wasn’t that long ago, technically, in the scheme of things. It’s still within our generations recent enough, like our parents were raised, a lot of us our parents were raised by people who grew up in the depression. So they experienced that. Then all of that is laced with this depression mentality and survival mentality. So I really, I honor the work that a lot of us have needed to do and are doing and podcasts like this who are really elevating us from that survival place say, life is not about survival, and it doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to you know, x, y & z, it does mean that just by being alive, you have all it is it is already stating in your in existence, that you have gifts, and you have something to bring. And there is this exchange that we use to make that possible so that you can thrive and you can be happy. And I don’t think there’s anything more powerful than us living in our gifts and being happy.

Christine Schlonski [21:24]
I totally agree. That’s fine door closed to cat somewhere. Usually, she sleeps under the desk, but we missed that part today. Okay. Yeah, I so agree. And I also agree that when you are in this place where you need something, where you’re in the scarcity survival mode, you are pushing away all these amazing things. Because neediness is such an energy that doesn’t call in, it’s pushing away. So I think it’s so super important to be mindful of how you approach people in a conversation. Are you coming from that place of love? Are you staying in your heart, or just operating out of your ego or out of neediness?

Katy Bray [22:37]
Yeah, and that, and that makes me think about something that I see often. And this can actually be with a lot of different things. But particularly with money where, you know, I want X amount of dollars, because I want to not feel scared. I don’t want to feel insecure, I don’t want to you know, get kicked out of my house, I don’t want to lose my car. There’s there’s a lot of that’s, that’s this insidious form of lack and fear. But a lot of people will approach it that way. And and that’s the same kind of conversation. So I think, you know, if, if anyone who’s listening to this does that, where they want something because they are trying to avoid something else, that that’s going to create that same kind of resistance that you’re talking about that what it what we’re really wanting to do is sort of shift our position enough to say, I want to experience a sense of freedom, I want to experience a sense of expansion and choices, and stability, or whatever those things are that this is I’m aiming for something lighter and more elevated, that’s more in front of me, not this fear, that’s behind me. I think that that’s a tricky little place where self-sabotage can really come into our mindset, and still be in our own voice and sound really normal.

Christine Schlonski [24:06]
Yes, yeah. So with all your experience, what would you recommend, let’s say, somebody, especially, you know, in the entrepreneurial world, you have your ups and your downs. And sometimes these are really nice ups, it goes really high when it does go really far down as well. Like, what would you recommend if somebody is right now in this place, where they’re really trying to get enough money into just pay their bills? Like, where would they start right now to make that shift?

Katy Bray [24:42]
Mm hmm. So whenever I feel like I’ve gone to a down spot, whether it’s with let’s say, a project that I’ve wanted to get off the ground, and it’s just did not take off the way that I wanted, or in a lot different ways. I start to look for what I call like bridge statements. The things that, because a lot of people will go into affirmations, and I find that a lot of us are intelligent enough to know that we’re lying to ourselves. And so I go to a place of “wouldn’t it be amazing if I could see this from a different perspective, wouldn’t I feel so much lighter if there was a solution that I’m just not seeing right now?” Wouldn’t it be amazing if a different perception revealed itself to me, or a solution just showed up? Like I really start to open up my creative capacities, even if I can’t think of something specific. And actually, I think specifics can get dangerous. So I look at opening up the energy, one of my favorite ones is excitement. Because I happen to be very playful, I love joking around. I love lightheartedness. I love a certain kind of excitement, where I just feel open and elevated. So I go into excitement mode, not pep rally, I’m lying to myself. But I say you know, I know that I am a wealth of resources. And I, I feel really excited that something must be getting birthed right now something is coming, I can feel it. I know it life has taught me that with every death, there is a rebirth with every time I touch the ground, it always makes me rebound to go even higher. So those are just some of the tricks that I use. And and sometimes I’ll reach out to a mentor, sometimes I’ll look on YouTube for other stories of other entrepreneurs who are like, “Yeah, I got my butt handed to me.” But that’s actually what had me and having this multi-gazillion, whatever, because that one mistake or that one, you know, really terrible down moment is exactly what I needed to lead me to that. So I look for all the possible reminders that I can wake up inside of myself, I think the bottom line is I am always looking for a visceral experience in my body and in my being that reactivates this idea that I am this living, breathing co-creator. And that it is not done until it is done, that there is still plenty of life and ideas in here. As long as I can feel some kind of animation in my body. So that’s what I go to first.

Christine Schlonski [27:44]
Yeah, yeah. I love it. I think it’s so important to have that connection to your body.

Katy Bray [27:49]
Yes.

Christine Schlonski [27:51]
And yeah, well, I love taking walks and kind of walk negativity out of me. Yes, yeah. Or like, you know, dancing or just listen to wonderful music that that lights me up. So I totally get that. It’s, it’s wonderful. Yeah. So basically, it starts with a positive emotion. And that will help you to move forward and create more of this positive emotion. Because like attracts like, set? Yes.

Katy Bray [28:23]
Yeah, it does. And here’s, here’s something I think is important to say to that. I’m not a big fan of just change your mind and things will shift. And I’m not a big fan of denying what it is you are experiencing. What I am a fan of is opening up the possibilities because we do live in a universe where the possibilities are infinite. So it’s about sitting in the experience of what feels true and real in that moment, without putting blinders on and eliminating all other possibilities. And that’s what I think is most important.

Christine Schlonski [29:04]
Wonderful. That was really a great finish to this episode. Thank you so so very much. I’m looking forward yeah, I’m looking forward to continue.

Katy Bray [29:15]
Yes, me too.

Christine Schlonski [29:16]
Thanks for being here.

Katy Bray [29:18]
Thanks for having me.

Christine Schlonski [29:20]
I always get so inspired by these wonderful stories of achievement and of really overcoming the challenges. And I think Katie is just a beautiful example of how to pick yourself up and really go for what you truly desire. aligning yourself as your true self, being authentic, true to your values, and really, really going for it and creating manifesting the life you truly desire. So I’m very happy that Katie will be back for the next episode. So make sure you tune in. And we will learn quite a lot from her next time as well. To learn even more, please come and join my free Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass, which is an online event taking place in May, you can go and sign up at christineschlonski.com, pick the tab in the menu, masterclass, Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass three, sign yourself in, and then I will bring that class to you in May so that you can learn more spiritual and practical steps to increase your sales and create true wealth without losing your authenticity. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so excited for you and I would love to know more about your path. So whenever you feel like it, just reach out and let me know what’s going on. What are you working on? And also if you have questions for Variety Friday, please shoot me an email, email at info@christineschlonski.com. Thank you so much for being here. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world and bye for now.