Resources in this Episode:

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous, this is episode number 054 with the wonderful Liana Chaouli.

Liana Chaouli [0:09]
Hi everyone. My name is Liana Chaouli, the president and founder of Image Therapists International and today you are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski, enjoy our time together!

Christine Schlonski [0:22]
Hi Gorgeous. I am so happy to have Liana on the show today because I had the honor of experiencing her work, and I know what a powerful tool we are going to share with you today so that you can change your sales games through your wardrobe and potentially change your life. So hop on over to christineschlonski.com, and find in the menu the tap masterclass, make sure you sign in for the masterclass that starts on May 15th, because Liana is gonna do a deep dive and really a real teaching segment on her beautiful work. It’s a free masterclass, so make sure you assign in today so you’re registered and you are reserving your seat. Let me give you before we dive in a little bio in a nutshell. So Liana Chaouli is a president and founder of Image Therapists International and a globally recognized thought leader, style expert and mentor. She is fluent in five languages, and she’s also a respected international keynote speaker and trainer. Liana creates transformation for her clients through the power of wardrobe, and for two decades she has consulted top CEOs, celebrities, media personalities and political figures on matters of self image and style. Some of her clients include Bob Mackie, the Canfield Training Group, IBM, Nostrum, Choice Hotel Group, Coldwell Banker University, US Bank, Canyon Ranch, and many, many more. She’s also a best selling author, and her book is called YOU Are a Masterpiece: How to Dress a More Powerful & Authentic You. So I am super, super excited to dive into what she has created called Image Therapy and Self Image Therapy. And we’re going to give you some background on it and also how you can use it in your business. I am so happy to have you here Liana, and I’m so excited about this special interview for Heart Sells! Podcast . So, you said that image therapy, like what image therapy? Just to give people a little overview. What does that mean?

Liana Chaouli [3:08]
Well, let’s, let’s update it, because when you met me many years ago, it was Image Therapy, it has now rolled over and grown and become global. And we’ve created a little bit more distinction. And the distinction is Self Image Therapy. Because one of the pieces that was, that kept coming up as people were going well, what is Image Therapy and in the title, I wanted it to be known that this is about you, and who you are in the world, how you show up in language, and clothing, in your thoughts, what you’re creating. So in any given moment, it’s what are you creating, and most of us don’t realize that creating from our first skin into our second skin, which I call your clothing, your second skin, that there’s a huge gap. And the gap is, if I am not happy and content, and acknowledging and accepting of who I am, exactly the way I am, and exactly the way I’m not, then what you go through is this resistance and this war and being not at peace with who you are. So if you’re not happy with your first skin and in the body that you’re in, then how can we ever be happy with our clothing? You know what I mean? So the distinction happened, it happened over the years, I mean, I was noticing what people were doing. And so Image Therapy, like, you know it, became the healing art of Self Image Therapy, because that’s truly what it is. It is a way back to finding who you are authentically with integrity, with transparency, with vulnerability, in order to stand in the strength of who you are, and being with live exactly the way it is. And exactly the way it isn’t. And clothing is just a part of that toolbox, so is language, so is your thought processes, so everything starts from the inside, and then gets reflected on the outside.

Christine Schlonski [5:20]
Yeah, beautiful. And I mean, you, you are the reason I stopped dyeing my hair.

Liana Chaouli [5:24]
I love it! Thank you for saying that. And I, I appreciate the acknowledgement. And the truth is that I, all I am, I am the conduit to these messages, these messages that are the world wanting you to be your most brilliant in your most amazing self. So I get to be, you know, the messenger, I get to say, listen, try it this way, that way doesn’t really work, You’re constantly in a, in a hairdressers chair, you’re constantly inauthentic. You know you’re triad your natural color triad that God or the world or the universe has given you, is is in constant disarray, because the hair color doesn’t match the skin color when you start dying it because everything is changing. And that took a lot of education for people to get. So I get to be the conduit that says, look, this can be when you don’t dye your hair. Now take that as an example. And go try it, because you can always go back to dying it.

Christine Schlonski [6:27]
Yeah, well, I will definitely not because the, the let’s say the pain or the challenge and going through it, especially when you have long hair. I wouldn’t want to restart the process at a later time. So, and I love what you just said was that color triad because it’s so true. When you do change a little bit your skin tone, and it makes a difference on how you show up. So I realized that showing up this way, like the authentic way is very special, and it does have a different impact on how I show up. So it’s really interesting. And also for people who are listening who might think like, oh, I’m never gonna stop dying my hair…

Liana Chaouli [7:15]
My husband doesn’t want it. My children don’t want it. Oh my God, who would I be without my, see this, this what you just mentioned, Christine is a perfect, it’s the perfect foundation about what we started with when I said, this is about Self Image Therapy, you know, it’s like when people come to me or when they’re listening, like your listeners are now listening, and they’re going, what do you mean? Does this have to do with clothes? Does this have to do with fashion? The truth is it doesn’t. Because you are the creation of what comes into your closet. So when you can be authentic, so you and I met, what, eight years ago? How long ago did we meet, about eight years ago?

Christine Schlonski [7:59]
Not Not that long. But quite a while ago, yeah.

Liana Chaouli [8:01]
Five, seven, whatever. And you took on this thought process where you said, oh my god, maybe I can let my hair grow out, okay? And you’ve been very patient with it, because it takes a long time, when you’ve dyed your hair fully, it takes a very long time, and there’s a line and so you stepped courageously into the unknown. Okay, now that has nothing to do with fashion, it is not an act of, I’m going to be fashionable, or like a quick turnaround make over. This is an act of commitment. So when I talk about Self Image Therapy, when I talk about my work and the path that this work takes, it takes courage. Right?

Christine Schlonski [8:46]
Right.

Liana Chaouli [8:47]
It takes it takes a lot of courage. But before courage, it takes curiosity. So the three C’s in my world of Self Image Therapy are curiosity, courage, and then commitment. Because curiosity leads to you may be stepping into courage, And that can only happen when you’re committed, ie your example of saying you know what, I’m going to let my hair grow out because I want to be who I am naturally in my natural color. Okay, so then, colors come into play and clothing comes into play. Because if you’re dying your hair chocolate brown or black, like a lot of people do, and it is completely the opposite of what’s underneath there, your whole look starts changing. But when you stop dying it, suddenly your wardrobe can actually be the frame for who you are rather than the armor.

Christine Schlonski [9:47]
Oh, wow. That’s profound.

Liana Chaouli [9:49]
Yeah, and most people use clothing as an armor.

Christine Schlonski [9:53]
Yeah!

Liana Chaouli [9:54]
They don’t use clothing as oh, I just want this to frame me. And so the reason why we go internal first, and it’s hard work. I mean Christine, you’ve watched me do this work, you’ve come to salons. You’ve seen how deep this work goes. When someone is, is unwilling, so curiosity and courage have to do with the willingness, when, when people are unwilling to actually go down that courageous path, then they’re not a good candidate for this. But should they be willing to actually see what’s in store for them on the other side? On the on the side of the, after the breakdown, there’s a breakthrough. Like what you did, you, you had a hard time with some of this stuff.

Christine Schlonski [10:40]
Oh, yeah.

Liana Chaouli [10:43]
Would you be willing to share a little bit? Because that’s, this is a perfect example.

Christine Schlonski [10:47]
Yeah, yeah, I’m happy to. So first I want to, I want to just relate it to sales real quick, because I am not quite sure if everybody got the bridge. Right. So in sales, I see sales as holistic. So you don’t just bring your wonderful product and service to the table, but you know, it comes with you. So people first, when they see you, they basically, they buy you, they buy your energy, they buy what you’re thinking, what you’re about, so the more authentic you can be, the more you can show up as who you are, the more your ideal clients will be aligned to your work. And so what, what was really interesting when I started to let my hair like the natural color come back, let’s put it this way. First, I noticed like on video, like my head was yellow, which I didn’t like, and without the video it kind of looked like blonde as it was supposed to look. So I didn’t like the yellowish kind of thing. And, then once I started the process, it was really difficult because I do have long hair. And it took a while and you had like all these different layers. And, you know, I felt a bit embarrassed in between because it looked like I couldn’t afford going to the hairdresser. But it was the opposite.

Liana Chaouli [12:15]
This is so amazing that you’re sharing this. So this is part of the Self Image Therapy part. Okay? So when we start to become authentic, and we shed our layers, you shed the layer, you shed the armor. So hair color, just like clothing, just like inauthentic speech, just like a withhold that other people in the world call a lie, it’s a lie. It’s not authentic. Like you don’t go out into nature and spray paint a tree because you say I don’t like this color green, I’m going to make your purple. We do it as human beings, you know. But I always say an oak tree doesn’t want to be an orchid, and an orchid doesn’t want to be an oak tree. But we think we have to twist ourselves into these pretzels, in order to be liked, in order to be wanted, in order to be desired, in order to have bigger sales. The truth is that authenticity is the biggest aggregator for building community, for building a social life, for attracting the right people to you. Not someone that’s not right for you, but the right person for you. It’s like starting a relationship of dating with a lie. You know, so many online people are lying about their age, and they’re lying about their photo, and then you get to meet that person in person. And suddenly, it’s like, oh my god, that’s not the same person. So if you are wanting to be the offer, which is exactly what image Self Image Therapy is about, be the offer. Don’t make the offer, you don’t have to make an offer, you can show up holistically with a full heart, you know, you say your business is called heart your podcast is called Heart Sells! When you can be fully who you are, and magnificently comfortable in that body, with exactly the gifts you’ve been given, then people will be so attracted to you. Because nothing is more attractive, the most attractive accessory in my world, is your authenticity, and your transparency, and your vulnerability, which is the foundation of your strength. That’s the foundation of, of a great offer. You know, you call it sales, I call it being the offer, be the offer. Go to a party, and be exactly who you are, authentic, loving, comfortable in your skin. And people will want to know, they will want to know more. Wow, who are you? What is that? Did that shift for you after you started growing your hair out? You started to getting more relaxed inside your body?

Christine Schlonski [15:03]
Um, I would, I wouldn’t say I wasn’t relaxed inside my body, but I felt you know, what came along with letting the hair grow out was also getting rid of my black clothes.

Liana Chaouli [15:19]
We have to include a little bit of training here for your listeners. Is that okay? If I can?

Christine Schlonski [15:25]
Yes, yeah, that’s fine. Well, I wanna you know, I wanna inspire them to get that piece for them so that they can be who they are, that they can attract the perfect clients for them.

Liana Chaouli [15:37]
We can also, we can also leave this to a little bit later, you know? We can leave this portion about the black because I’m writing a TED talk on it.

Christine Schlonski [15:46]
Yeah, cool. Yeah.

Liana Chaouli [15:48]
And, and I want, I want your listeners to just, so we’re just going to put a stake in the ground here and we’re going to talk about it a little bit later in the podcast, but we will talk about the black because you shed two armors. Okay, well, so one armor is the black, which we’re going to go back to, because black is not a color. Black is just a pure armor. There’s nothing in nature that’s black. And we are beings of nature. So when we armor up with black, there’s nothing for the other side of the black, you know, so the viewer, the beholder, the person you’re wanting to make an offer to, is not able to actually see who you are, because you’re all armored up. So, when we talk about, or when I talk about black and I say you know, I have a different opportunity for you, you don’t have to wear black, there’s other colors you can wear, which we’re going to get into a little later, the freedom that comes with that, which is just a tiny little tool in you showing up as brilliant, and as authentic, and as vulnerable, and loving, and beautiful as you are. The distinction is, do you want to armor up? Or do you want the world to see your, let the world see your heart? Because when you say Heart Sells! what it is, is heart is what attracts.

Christine Schlonski [17:14]
Yeah, totally.

Liana Chaouli [17:15]
You know, so I know that this is a conversation about selling. But in farsee, we have a saying that one person is always selling, and the other one is always buying. No matter whether it’s a husband and wife, no matter if it’s a mother and child. The relationships that we have for one another, one is always making an offer, and the other person is always rejecting or accepting an offer. So there’s only a few things, there’s an offer, there is a request. You either make an offer, or you make a request. So it’s not just in a store or on a stage that we we become the offer. It is every single day, you pick up the phone, you go, can you please come by my pipe broke? That’s a request. Okay? But even in that sense, or when you’re calling the phone company, and you’re on the phone for 55 minutes, and you need something, the more authentic we can be, the more kind we can be, okay? The more real we can be, we can connect to another person’s heart. And so Self Image Therapy is the path, is the PhD in design of who you are, all of who you are. In your language, in the way you show up in the world, in your comfort or disease and showing up in the world. And the less armor you have, the more people can actually go, oh, I like that. I want to be around that. But if we don’t open our hearts, and if we’re armored up, how are people supposed to connect to the authentic piece of who we are? Do you see what I’m saying? So I love what you do, and I love the way you, you speak about it. And the truth is that you are the antenna in your life, you, every human being is the offer, or has the potential to be the offer. It’s not your product. It’s not your book, it’s not your website. Because wherever you go, there you are, and how are you showing up in an authentic, fully engaged, open hearted, vulnerable way that people go, wow, I don’t know what it is about her or about him, but I can’t stop listening to her, and I, I just want her to keep talking, I want him to keep telling me, you know? That’s the engagement. So when you say Heart Sells! for me, it’s always, let’s go inside and find who we are, so we can authentically show up that way in the world.

Christine Schlonski [19:53]
Yeah, and give us also that commission that we do not need to become somebody that we are not, just because we might fear that if I don’t show up like this, nobody’s gonna buy. It’s the opposite. If you show up…

Liana Chaouli [20:09]
You know what’s really beautiful about this process? So 36 years I’ve been doing this, you know, I’ve, I’ve seen all over the world. So I do this in four or five languages all over the world and, and it never ceases to amaze me, Christine, how we’re all at the bottom of the bottom, we all have this little piece that goes, well maybe I’m just not good enough, you know? Because we weren’t raised, most of us weren’t raised by parents who held us in the palm of their hand, and said you are the most amazing, beautiful, creation that God ever made, and you can do anything you want. We weren’t raised like that!

Liana Chaouli [20:16]
So the truth about the path of Self Image Therapy is, can I be with what is inside me? Can I be with my gifts? And can I be with my greatness. And can I stop feeling guilty about what I’m not? Powerful distinction. You know, I always say to my, to my clients, when we do workshops, I say seek your sister’s greatness rather than her guilt. But we don’t, you know, we are constantly seeking validation for the stuff that’s not okay. Rather than seeking validation for what is good. So when you say Heart Sells! my invitation to everyone is, look inside you to see what’s really wonderful about you. And that’s not arrogant, that’s just honoring source, and honoring God for the gifts that you’ve been given. And your masterpiece, your body that you get to live in, is one of those major gifts, so stop trying to make it different. You know, so Self Image Therapy is the PhD in design of who you are. It’s the path to being in life, exactly the way life is and exactly the way it isn’t. And that’s where freedom occurs. And when people see that freedom in your face, and they listen to you and your words, and they watch you show up and actions that are fully in freedom and with ease, that’s when they want to be around you.

Christine Schlonski [20:47]
Yeah.

Christine Schlonski [22:24]
So, when was the very first time where you understood the power of this concept? When could you use it for yourself or for your business?

Liana Chaouli [22:38]
What a great question. So, you’ve heard my story on how, how, you’ve heard the beginning of my story, which didn’t happen at the beginning of my story. So, I’m going to share with your listeners, a little bit of how this all came to be, you know, I was way into my career, IT was in 1995 and i want to share with, with you guys that, who are listening that, this work is completely holistic. So when you say Heart Sells! as a holistic kind of approach to living and selling and working. Image Therapy is the part where your self image really gets looked at, in a way from the inside, without any barriers. And I didn’t really know what I was creating, I knew that I wanted to create this. And in 1995, my relationship with my mother was still very difficult. And I’m, you know, the first born so I share this because, you want to look at your own lifa, and you want to see what the components are. Whether you’re selling, whether you’re creating, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, but you want to see where your past is being brought into the present undistinguished and unacknowledged as such. And it’s getting in the way of you getting bigger.

Christine Schlonski [23:54]
Yeah.

Liana Chaouli [23:56]
So I was on a big stage for image consultants, I was doing a keynote speech and my mother wanted to come and hear me speak. And I was like, oh, god, this is not going to be good. But you know, there were thousands of people in the audience. And I said, okay, what can go wrong? And I had a breakout side, two breakout sessions afterwards. And unbeknownst to me, she was in the audience. And I said, please hold your questions until the end, there were you know, instead of 40 people, there were 120 people in the room. And so the first person that goes up to the microphone at the end, happens to be no other than my mother, and I just almost died at the front of the room. She says I don’t have a question, but I have a comment. And I swear, I could just like feel my knees buckle. And then she begins to say, she says, you know, when I was a young woman, I was very ill, I was in bed all the time, I couldn’t get out of bed and my little two, two and a half, three year old daughter would go into my closet and bang on the hanger and pull on the clothes until the hanger broke, until she got the clothes, and the shoes and the purse, and the scarf, and everything to match, and the glasses and the hat, laid it all out on my bed. And then she would come and she would pull the covers off my face and say, Mommy, please, please, please, Mommy get dressed, I get everything out for you. Because when you get dressed, you’re going to feel pretty. And then, and then we can go out and we can have fun together, Mommy, please get dressed. And she’s standing in the back of the room. And everybody’s looking at her. And she says, You know, I could not follow my daughter’s invitation because I was so sick. And I could never get out of bed for her. But you can follow her invitation because the same little girl that dressed me is the same woman that taught you everything she knows today. And I know how great she is because I was her first client. And everyone was crying, the whole room was sobbing. And the truth is that to this day, when I see women in so much pain about their bodies, and about who they are and about the conversations that are completely invalid in their heads. That they’re sad and depressed, and they think they’re not good enough. That’s what drives me, you know, to alleviate the pain that all my clients go through, because it doesn’t have to be that way.

Christine Schlonski [26:30]
We are both emotional. And this is such a strong why, why you do what you do.

Liana Chaouli [26:37]
Yeah.

Christine Schlonski [26:38]
So, when when people come to me, for example, and they’re so afraid of sales, and they can just connect those dots, I take them through the sales power formula. And the power each letter stands for something to learn,something to dive into deep, and the w is the y. So once you know why you do what you do, you are able to show up in a different way, you are able to make your offers, your requests to help somebody, to support somebody to to change. So this is so beautiful. And you did bring a gift for us today. Would you want to tell people where they can find it because you know, time flies with you, and we have to hold back for the second interview.

Liana Chaouli [27:32]
So um, the gift that I have for you guys is a video series, which is really powerful, and you learn a lot about the foundation of Self Image Therapy and it starts with you. So you go to lianasgifts.com. L I A N A S G I F T S. COM. lianasgifts.com, put in your name and your email address and make sure that you just watch out in your inbox because you’re going to be getting emails with videos, five or six video clips. And, they’re a little longer than clips, so you can learn a lot. And I’m excited to show them to you and be in touch with you, and ask, get your questions answered and asked, so connect!

Christine Schlonski [28:20]
Yeah, exactly. Yeah,and I will put all the links into the show notes and onto the resource page so people can, can check that out, and it’s, for me it was, it was a big gift. So, I would love for everybody else to connect with you. And that’s really an amazing opportunity, so thank you so much. Thank you for this beautiful interview, and I’m sorry that the time is already up. But we’re going to have a second one. So I’m very looking forward to you.

Liana Chaouli [28:51]
Yay! Part 2!

Christine Schlonski [28:54]
Thank you so much and have an amazing day.

Liana Chaouli [28:57]
Bye everybody1

Christine Schlonski [28:59]
Well, what an episode, I just you know, the idea that clothing could be your armor. The idea that you could be hiding your wonderful self with your wardrobe and not showing up for your customers, for your life in a very authentic way is pretty groundbreaking. And I have to say that is something I really need to think about myself. Because sometimes, sometimes we do hide and this is such a beautiful way to maybe to start, to stop hiding and to showing up with more of you in the beautiful world. So hop on over to christineschlonski.com, in the menu you find the tab podcast for all the information for Liana’s gift, for all the resources we talked about, the transcript, and the shownotes, and as well, all the links to connect with her,got connect with her, but for the wonderful Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass, you need to make sure you reserve your seat right now. And you find that at on the same page christineschlonski.com in the menu visit tab masterclass, join the Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass and make sure you diving in deep with Liana there we’re going to talk about black, and what happens when you stop wearing black, how you can go about it. So she’s going to give you a whole teaching segment like she will be teaching her VIP clients. And I’m very excited to share that knowledge with you. Because as I mentioned, for me it has made a big change in my life. So thank you so much for being here, Gorgeous. Thank you so much for tuning in. Have a wonderful, wonderful day, wherever you are in this beautiful world and bye for now.