Resources in this Episode:

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous. This is episode number 037. And we have some amazing Shannon Ferraby back on the show today. And I’m so super excited that she is here.

Shannon Ferraby [0:16]
Hi, this is Shannon Ferraby you are listening to Heart Sells! with Christine Schlonski, enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:23]
I’m excited to share more of Shannon’s story today. And to give you a little bit of a background, she is a certified Go-Giver speaker and coach and she truly believes and teachers that the most valuable gift you can offer to the world is yourself. She passionately leads, trains and coaches thousands of women in the direct sales industry, is a Go-Giver international director of engagement, a wife of over 25 years, and a mommy to five when she is not 100 feet underwater scuba diving in caves or with sharks. She is on the mission to stop women everywhere from listening to and believing lies that are holding them back from who they were created to be. I’m very glad that Shannon is back for another wonderful conversation. So let’s welcome her to Heart Sells!

Christine Schlonski [1:32]
Well, I’m so excited to welcome back Shannon Ferraby. And yeah, we just had an amazing interview talking about trust. Trusting that when you give first you receive and you’re open to receiving, so I would love to dive into the trust piece Shannon

Shannon Ferraby [1:54]
Absolutely. Yeah, that’s a really important factor, I think in reaching success and your own personal goals in your business. And it’s something I think a lot of people leave out, they often are desperate and what they think that they need. And they’re so focused on that, that they’re missing the other person, the other, you know, player in their story, and then they can’t help people and give to people because they’re just focused on themselves. And it doesn’t work. It doesn’t actually wind up giving back to them what they were looking for in the first place. But they don’t trust that they don’t trust their themselves if they give that they will receive.

Christine Schlonski [2:37]
Yeah, so what could you advise, like an entrepreneur who might go through different difficult time? Who might struggle who who’s things while you know, just one more client this month? Yeah, what could you advise from that perspective, that they can actually kind of let go and trust the process?

Shannon Ferraby [3:02]
Yeah, you sometimes it’s so hard because when I see someone that’s sharing that way, and they say things like, you know, who can help me, I just need one more order to reach this goal. And they definitely sound like they’re begging. And what I want to do is show them that it’s not working, you know, what I, what I want to do is, say, look, did you get the results that you wanted, you didn’t, it doesn’t work, people don’t like it, it doesn’t come across well, and then I would love to be able to compare and show them someone else who’s doing it a different way. And all of the results they’re receiving. The hard thing is, is that like anything in life, sometimes things do take time. So there needs to be a place where they come to the realization that what they’re doing isn’t working. And then they need to be willing to try a different approach. But it’s not necessarily something that will happen overnight. So it’s getting them to see what’s wrong with begging and desperation and a focusing only on yourself, and then helping them to be brave and trusting in themselves. That really and truly if you give what other people need, and listen to them, it will come back to you. But it might take time. And that’s sometimes really hard for people.

Christine Schlonski [4:16]
Yeah, yeah. And I so get that. I, I’ve seen that in my sales career over and over again, when I thought that I needed something and never really happened anyway.

Shannon Ferraby [4:29]
Well, that is true.

Christine Schlonski [4:30]
Yeah. But when I when I was like, Okay, I, you know, I just made this big deal happen, then, miraculously, the next client showed up, and because you were already in the space that this person said, Yes. And they said, yes, then you already had two thinking like, Wow, well, maybe it can get number three. Yeah,

Shannon Ferraby [4:56]
Right?, Yeah, that’s true. I like to talk to people a lot about, you know, it’s good to have big picture goals and an idea of where you want to be. That by itself is terrifying for some women. They don’t want to even admit to themselves what they would love to see happen, because they don’t think it will ever be a reality. But if I can get them to even admit to me something that they would just love to see happen. And then we can break that down into some really tiny baby steps, those little tiny baby steps and achievements will help them hang in there until the receiving part starts to come their way. So the baby steps will be involving giving and helping others and listening and asking questions and all those things we talked about last time. But as they achieve those, they will already start to feel like you said, you know, they’ll start to feel that well, that felt good. And yeah, that person was helped because I said that and that was a really nice thing to be a part of, and they’ll start to see those things connecting and that helps them to be able to picture one day this is all going to come together.

Christine Schlonski [6:00]
So Have you always been constantly asking for money?

Shannon Ferraby [6:05]
Well, okay, I think maybe yes, I have. You know, when I was little one of the first things that I ever sold was rocks that I painted. I found rocks and I painted them and that I went and I knocked on our neighbors doors and I tried to sell my painted rock and then you know, until I got caught somebody told my mom she said stop that but but then I was in school and I would buy penny candy and I would bring it in a bag and I would sell it for two pennies and I don’t think that I ever really had a problem for that because if they were happy with it and they wanted it then Yeah for me, like I was the smart chick that brought candy the school.

Christine Schlonski [6:53]
Cool. So maybe you are the first like natural salesperson, natural form kid to adult.

Shannon Ferraby [7:01]
Maybe. But I certainly would not say I’m one of those people who joke you know, I could sell snow to an Eskimo. That is not true to me. Because I wouldn’t be able to sell something that I didn’t think was going to serve in some way. I really believed that my rock for beautiful when I was little, but you know, but as an adult in the sales industry if I didn’t believe that I was offering value, if I didn’t believe that something I had would benefit them, I would probably talk them out of it. I wouldn’t want them to spend their money on something that they didn’t need or they didn’t want or desire. So coming from that place, it is easy. Because if they say no, and they don’t want it good. Don’t waste your money on it. I wouldn’t either.

Christine Schlonski [7:45]
Yeah, yeah, that’s such a that’s such a great way to see things. And I know many people who, who do have difficulties also with the receiving end of things, or they maybe they can ask for money, but they never asked for what they truly want. Right? Maybe they think, you know, I’m just making up numbers. But maybe they think well, you know, I really would love to have like, 2000, but all they would ask for like, it’s like, 350. So they have this huge gap. Do you have any advice on on this, like you, you know, be okay, with what you really truly want.

Shannon Ferraby [8:26]
OK, that one I can relate to a lot more. Because it’s something has a fixed price to it. I don’t have a problem asking for it. If they want it need it. Great. That’s how much it costs. But what you’re talking about is much more personal. And I can definitely relate to that one. I’m having just recently in the past couple years, become a certified Go-Giver Speaker and Coach. When someone asked me to speak at a venue there is a price involved. And it’s something I’m really struggling with. Because on the one hand, you know, my mentor Bob Burg would say, this is what you should be charging. And this is what you’re worth. But the lies in my head that I hear from when I was a little girl sometimes still say, Shannon shut up and sit down. No, they’re not going to pay you that to talk. Why would they do that? And so it’s a constant battle of Am I really worth that? You know, maybe what I have to say is, okay, what am I worth is that I’m not worth that. And so my advice, I guess would be to trust what other people that you trust, say because they see things in you that we sometimes aren’t able to see in ourselves, or at least not yet. And, and I also do believe, I don’t know that everyone would agree with this. But I do believe it’s okay to take baby steps. I’m okay with getting to that point gradually, as long as I believe that I’ll get there someday. It’s okay with me to do that. But I do struggle. I just received a fabulous bonus not long ago, and my husband must know me really well. Because when I showed him the bonus, the very first thing he said to me is, don’t you dare think for a second that you don’t deserve this, you are worth every penny, you give them so much value. And congratulations.

Christine Schlonski [10:15]
That’s so beautiful.

Shannon Ferraby [10:16]
We need people to speak those things into our lives. Know that we can accept it ourselves.

Christine Schlonski [10:23]
Yeah, that’s, that’s why I personally believe it’s so important to have mentors and coaches that see the potential that you just can’t see. That’s where you growing into with, you know, a little bit of support and advice. And also you just mentioned, I think it’s beautiful, what your husband said, like, surrounding yourself with the right people. Being a putting yourself in an environment that uplifts you.

Shannon Ferraby [10:52]
Yeah, I’m very blessed in that he does. My husband does support me, and he encourages me and he, I have had a lot of crazy ideas over the years adventures, and he always supports them. And he always is my cheerleader. And so it’s been wonderful. But not everybody has that there are a lot of women listening that would say, that’s not my husband. You know, my family doesn’t support me, my friends don’t support me. And so those women, I would just like to say that you need to find people, you need to find people. You don’t have to leave the ones that you love. You can accept them for who they are, and hope that one day that will change. But you need to find others who will see that beautiful truth inside of you. And help to bring it out. And it’s it’s hard. It’s going to take some courage. But we need to do that for ourselves. If it doesn’t naturally live among us.

Christine Schlonski [11:43]
Yeah. Oh, I totally agree. I mean, you can’t choose your family, right? But you can choose your friends, you can choose who you surround yourself with. So going and, and, you know, if you say like, you live in the country, and there’s nobody close, you know, get the right books. I mean, read the mentors. And we just discussed that before that we both stumbled upon the Go-Giver. And like, look where we are. Right?

Shannon Ferraby [12:09]
Exactly. No idea what something as simple as a book, how it could change your entire life. No idea. I mean, who would have thought years ago that I’d be sitting here chatting with you today. I never in a million years would have imagined my pass would lead down this way. But it started with that book. So you just don’t know. Yeah, we we like to make excuses for ourselves sometimes. And we justify our inaction by what we see in front of us instead of what could be if we would open our eyes a little bit further.

Christine Schlonski [12:43]
Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. So what do you do today, to get harmony in your life to get that, that balance that feeling that makes you jump out of bed?

Shannon Ferraby [12:56]
I don’t always jump out of bed. But on the days of that I don’t I do consciously make myself put on happy music. And I will tell myself, Shannon, do you really want to have a miserable day? No, you don’t want him to have a miserable day, you want to have a great day. So do something about it. And then I will put on music specifically that I know will get me in a better mood, get me pumped up. And so I will do that on purpose. Or I might call somebody I might call a specific, trusted person who I know will not feel sorry for me. And I’m so sorry. But say get going girl, what do you doing? And you know, kind of like, shake it out of me a little bit. And so I think we learn over time, which people can do which things for us. And then we can’t make excuses. It’s up to us. We have every opportunity to change our day when we want to. And it’s getting to that place of I am so tired living like this and I want my future to change and then stepping into it and doing it every day.

Christine Schlonski [14:01]
Yeah. Yeah. So basically change your state right? Change your emotions.

Shannon Ferraby [14:07]
Yeah, you have to, you have to, because we just get sucked in. It’s like this terrible, you know, vacuum that just pulls us in. And it’s quick, and it’s dangerous. And if we don’t stop it, when it starts, it could spiral and the whole days gone. And then you’re laying on your pillow at night, thinking what in the world I just did it again to that entire day accomplished nothing, was mean to my children, you know, didn’t whatever, you know, whatever the facts are for each person, but we’re in control of it. And we can’t let those circumstances control what we do each day.

Christine Schlonski [14:42]
Yeah. Do you have like, kind of like a routine you doing? Or are you know, to bring you to that right space? Like, do you journal or meditate by sites, putting on great music?

Shannon Ferraby [14:57]
Yeah, I do have a routine and when I follow it, and we’re really good,

Shannon Ferraby [15:03]
I do like to at night, prepare a little bit for the next day. And so if I can clean up my desk a little bit and that’s a set of a mental thing for me but my desk a little bit and maybe start a little bit I like to get a head start. So if I can write down a couple things, or even do one thing that was supposed to be tomorrow that I feel like I’ve already ahead so hopefully little mental games with myself. But then when I wake up, yes, I true. I always try and get a shower, get dressed and get ready first thing when I wake up because if I don’t, I’m likely to be lazy way longer than I should be. Working from home has challenges that I think some people don’t realize. So. So I made myself do that every day to start my day. And then I do spend some time sitting down with my journal and I plan out what am I going to work on today? What are the most important things that I have to do? And then what are the other things that I would just like to do? I do like to focus on what I’m grateful for every day and thinking about that. So I can start my self mentally with a positive you have a beautiful life Shannon, don’t forget that you have a beautiful life. And then I schedule out what I want to do with my time. So that’s the trickiest for me. I’m not always good at that, because I’m super spontaneous. But when I follow it, and I stick to my schedule, it usually is a beautiful day.

Christine Schlonski [16:20]
Sounds great. So do you use mantras for yourself? Or do you have like a quote that you love that you refer back to? To give you inspiration and empowerment?

Shannon Ferraby [16:31]
Well, I do love the quote, you know, I should know it by heart, but actually wrote it down, just in case I forgot.

Shannon Ferraby [16:38]
But I do love where do they put it? Ah, it’s never too late to be who you might have been. I do love that. And so sometimes I remind myself of that, that you know it doesn’t matter how old I am. It doesn’t matter how many mistakes I’ve made. It doesn’t matter how many things have gone wrong, it’s never too late. I can keep learning new things until the day that I die. And I can keep trying new fun things as long as I want to. So I do like to remind myself of that. But as far as things that really encouraged me, I would say that I go to Scripture that when I really feel like I need to be encouraged, and I need truth, real deep down inside my heart truth. I would turn to Scripture and reading the Word of God for me, always reminds me of who I am and grounds me and the type of truth that really nobody earthly could speak to me quite the same way.

Christine Schlonski [17:28]
Yeah, yeah, I love that. And you just said a word that caught my attention when speaking the word fun. So what kind of difference do you think fun makes to your business success?

Shannon Ferraby [17:46]
Well, I think that when you look at people in life around you, the ones that enjoy what they’re doing, and have fun, are more likely to pour their true self into it, and enjoy every moment of it. Be grateful for it, as opposed to someone who feels that they’re doing something because they have to, or someone making them do it. That’s it. Sure. Nobody wants to do chores. My kids hate chores. I hate chores. Don’t you like chores? So. So being blessed to have a job where you get to do something that you’re passionate about. That’s, that’s an opportunity that very few people, I think, enjoy. And unfortunately, it’s because they don’t come to a place where they realize they could, you know, and I think that’s unfortunate. But we all could have that every one of us could step into a place where we realize this is who I am, this is what I have to offer. And I’m going to do this now with my life and with my passion instead of this drudgery that I’ve been doing the past 10 years that I don’t even enjoy, and then it becomes fun because you are passionate about it.

Christine Schlonski [18:58]
Yeah, so it’s a choice.

Shannon Ferraby [19:00]
It’s a choice. It is. It truly is a choice. But it’s a hard one for a lot of people when there’s bills to pay.

Christine Schlonski [19:05]
Yeah, so. So what happened when you made that choice for you? Like, how did things show up in your life differently?

Shannon Ferraby [19:15]
I will be honest and tell you that I don’t think I made that choice initially, I think that it found me because I didn’t set out one day, to be a salesperson, to be an entrepreneur, to be a speaker. I didn’t set out to do any of that I set out to survive. I got out of bed in the morning to live another day, to take care of my kids and to meet obligations and only through helping other women and trying to give what I just saw the I don’t be honest, I liked feeling like I was needed somewhere. And it seemed to be the one place where I wasn’t failing at that time in my life. And so I poured more and more into it, because I felt needed and wanted and, and it wound up all coming back. So I would have to say, I did not make that choice. It found me and I walked through it and came out on the other side, thrilled that I did get out of bed each and every one of those days and allowed that life to continue to happen. So I could be where I am now. But when I speak to women who are struggling in any way I do try and encourage them to make those choices. I didn’t have anyone speaking into my life at that time. Maybe I would have listened to they did. But I didn’t have anyone. So I want to be that voice for women who don’t have someone and say, you don’t have to take three years to get through this. You don’t have to accidentally find yourself where you are. You can make these choices and you can walk through it in a positive way that you will enjoy and look back on as a wonderful experience.

Christine Schlonski [20:56]
Yeah, and you can make the choice now.

Shannon Ferraby [21:00]
You make the choice now, right? Yeah, you don’t have to wait. You can make the choice now.

Christine Schlonski [21:04]
Awesome. What a beautiful way to end this conversation makes a choice now, thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you so so much for being on the show and sharing all your wisdom and life experience with us. So for people just make sure you check out the free chapter of Success Unwrapped, you can find that at www.shannonfarraby.com. And thank you so much for being here Shannon.

Shannon Ferraby [21:33]
Thank you so much for having me. It’s been wonderful.

Christine Schlonski [21:38]
Bye. So good. I am so excited and grateful I had Shannon on the show. And I hope that you have gotten a lot of inspiration, motivation. And you know, the one or other advice that you can put into action and create a better outcome in your business and your life. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Thank you so much for your time. If you really resonate with this podcast, please make sure you share it with your loved ones and business partners. So they also can be inspired and use the opportunity to sign up for the Empowerment Notes where I share amazing free content in my weekly newsletter, where you get updates to the podcast. So you are not missing any insights. And yeah, thank you so much for being here. Hop on over to christineschlonski.com to find the show notes and the resources we are talking about and as well as the podcast itself and you have the opportunity there to subscribe to the Empowerment Notes. Have a wonderful day where ever you are in this beautiful world and I’m saying bye for now.