Resources in this Episode:

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous, this is episode number 036 with our wonderful guest today Shannon Ferraby.

Shannon Ferraby [0:10]
Hi this is Shannon Ferraby, you are listening to Heart Sells! Podcast with Christine Schlonski, enjoy.

Christine Schlonski [0:17]
I am so excited to have Shannon on the show today because she is a certified Go-Giver speaker and coach. And if you know me, you know I love this book written by Bob Burg, and John David Mann and I read the whole series. I highly recommended it. So Shannon is actually a certified Go-Giver speaker and coach which makes it very exciting for me to have this interview. Shannon herself believes and teachers that the most valuable gift you can offer is yourself. She passionately leads, trains and coaches thousands of women in the direct sales industry, is a go giver, international director of engagement, a wife of over 25 years and the mommy to five when she is not 100 feet under scuba diving in caves or with sharks. She’s on a mission to stop women everywhere from listening to and believing lies that are holding them back from who they were created to be. I am very, very happy to have her on the show.

Christine Schlonski [1:39]
I am so super excited to have on today Shannon Ferraby. Welcome to Heart Sells!.

Shannon Ferraby [1:46]
Thank you so much for having me. What an honor.

Christine Schlonski [1:49]
Yeah, I’m so excited. So we had a little discussion before and you know, one of my favorite books, the Go-Giver, authored by Bob Burg and John David Mann really had an impact on my life. And you are a certified Go-Giver speaker and coach and that’s so amazing. And, you know, we said that the most value a person can actually offer is themselves. So obviously our audience is interested in entrepreneurship and selling their products, their creations or amazing products they offer to make other people’s lives better. Can you give us a little bit of insight of how you actually got to this place, how you became a Go-Giver speaker and coach?

Shannon Ferraby [2:45]
Well, I think that lead in about how our most valuable gifts that we have to offer is ourselves, it’s probably the best way to start. Because that’s something that I’ve struggled with for years, I didn’t really believe that I had value to offer for to other people. And I went through a really hard time in my life where that just decrease even further. And I was afraid to try anything, pretty certain that anything I touched on was going to fail. I kind of joke that I was like the opposite of Midas as well. I really, I really struggled with that. And when I first read the Go-Giver, I remember how it resonated with me that I felt like the giving and the serving and the helping and all of those things were things that were so important to me. But I had been holding myself back afraid that you know, nobody wants to hear what you have to say, or what you have to offer isn’t really going to help anybody and those kinds of things. So how I got to where I am is a long story. But the short part for how I became a go giver, speaker and coach is really getting to that place where I was able to believe in my own value. And it took a lot of bravery. It was hard. But I had to say you you are valuable. You do have something to add to the world. And a way that you can help other people. And this was an avenue that would give me more ability to do something I’m passionate about, which is helping women stop listening to all of those lies that we’re not good enough. They, they just hold us back terribly. And and I’m very passionate about helping women. So becoming a certified speaker and coach just gave me permission to help more women in a way that I love.

Christine Schlonski [4:35]
Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. And I know especially when women set out to become an entrepreneur, they have to overcome like all of these challenges, right. And I often see that when women I really, really good in a career where they told what to do. And then deep down inside of them, they know that there’s so much more and so many women come to the point where they ask the question: Is that all there is? right? That for me, I came to the point where I ask myself is that all there is like, I mean, it’s nice to have some next, you know, step in your career, the next cool title, the next salary that pays more than the one before, but there was more. And I feel that for so many women, this is the case like this kind of waking up to all these possibilities. So when you went through your, let’s say, dark time and hard time in your life, what was that spark that actually started to set you on that journey where you knew you were telling yourself lies of not, you know, adding enough value, or maybe have not even being a personal value.

Shannon Ferraby [6:00]
Okay, so I think that what happened, first of all, was that I had some commitments and things that I had set, I had just joined my direct sales company when kind of the bottom of my life fell out. But I had booked crash shows, and I’m a responsible person, so even though I didn’t want to get out of bed, and face another day, I think I felt like you should go, you told these people, you would be there, you should go, I think the people pleaser and me didn’t want to make things any worse. So I went and I started selling our products and the team started growing, I really didn’t feel like I was adding any value. Still, at that point. I felt like I was just meeting an obligation. But what really started to open my eyes was when I would hear back from the women that I was helping in some way, either a customer who had been really helped by our product, or from especially a new member of our team, who I was speaking into their life, who I was encouraging them, oftentimes saying things that I needed to hear myself. You know, I could see in them, it was like a mirror, I could see in them, that they were listening to the same lies that I was struggling with. And then I would shout back at them, you know, don’t listen to that you can do this, that’s not true, you are amazing. And all the while, of course, it’s, you know, hitting me back in the face. And so when they started coming back, you know, in this took years, it was not a quick process. But when they started coming back, writing me letters, sending me text messages or private messages and saying, you know, it’s because of what you said that I got out of bed today and try this again. And because of what you shared in your video that I decided to do XYZ, and it’s those messages coming back to me that spoke the loudest and said, okay, you you are actually giving value here. It is worth something. It is helping people. And so what I like to say is that self-pity and isolation for me was the fertilizer for my life. The more I felt sorry for myself, the more I isolated myself, the more I believed in those lives, and they just grew. But when I helped other people believe in their value, it grew my own belief in my own value.

Christine Schlonski [8:23]
That’s so beautiful. So basically, you gave first

Shannon Ferraby [8:27]
I gave first, Yes, exactly.

Christine Schlonski [8:30]
How beautiful. So I mean, now you seem so confident and like balance, then, I mean, we were having a video call right now, but the audience can’t see you. It’s like, it’s really beautiful to see that energy. When you started that journey was there maybe one tool or one thing that you could go back to, to find that inner confidence and, and harmony?

Shannon Ferraby [9:05]
Hmm. The very first time I spoke in public was a moment for me, because I, I always like talking something I think I was born doing. But I also was always told to sit down and shut up. So for most of my life, like, the thing I was most passionate about, and I enjoy doing the most was the thing other people kept telling me to stop doing. So when I had an opportunity to share at my company’s first convention, they didn’t have a trainer, they didn’t have a speaker and so it was just me by default. And no one had ever heard me speak before. And I hadn’t ever done that type of venue, but they needed me. And so when someone needs me, I’m going to step up to the plate. I’m going to do my best. And so I remember thinking, Okay, here we go. I don’t know what they’re going to think. But I’m just going to be me. And I’m just going to do it and see what happens. And afterwards, so many people came up to me and said, the kindest, most encouraging things and I just cried and cried and cried, thinking they liked me, I, I did a good job, I must be good at this, this is something I can do. And then it just spiraled from there. But it’s often other people encouraging me that brings me to a place of moving forward again the next day, which makes total sense because that’s what I do to help other other women. And I need that too, I need my cup filled so that I can pour into other people’s lives. And if I don’t get that for long stretches, I will struggle. I will start to listen to the lies again, and I will hold back until something gives me a boost.

Christine Schlonski [10:53]
Yeah, so that that’s why I think it’s so important to have like, all these, yes, let’s say, strategies is in place. So like listening to podcasts, or to online summits, or go to events and, and have a communication so that we get the feedback that we’re just not all alone by ourselves and trying to figure it out, because, you know, asking for help, and just showing up. And my thing is a huge part of success.

Shannon Ferraby [11:23]
I agree with you. And we just this weekend, when I was sharing with a group of women about the five steps that I recognized, I went through in my life getting from that terrible dark place to where I am now. I didn’t do those things on purpose, because anyone told me to. But I like to share this little story. There was a willow tree in our yard, that we cut down to the stump because it fell right next to me and my son, and literally almost killed us. And we cut it down to the stump. And I often think of my time and my journey as feeling like that, that I had been cut down to the stump. And I relate so much to that feeling of just wishing someone had just ground me into the dirt and been done with it. But instead, I just sat there like an ugly bear stump, useless, ugly, no longer providing the value that trees to provide. And then one day, years later, when I was in the yard, I looked, and that willow tree grew back. And for me, that was astounding because I didn’t know that willow trees could do that. And I literally stood in my front yard, staring at the beautiful tree with tears pouring down my face. And I said, Shannon, you grew back. You’re just like, Willow. And then I had to figure out like, how did you get here? I didn’t think it was possible to get to this place. So I came up with these five steps that I think I went through. And one of them shows up it shows up for life. You’ve got to surround yourself with people and voices and books that are going to force you to listen to good positive and messages. And we have to make that choice for ourselves. We have to say, I’m going to show up because it doesn’t just land on your doorstep. You have to go look for it.

Christine Schlonski [13:09]
Yeah, yeah, definitely. I always say: Stop JUST dreaming. Act NOW. So many people are sitting on the couch, like, you know, kind of expecting that life delivers. Like you would order a pizza, but it’s not going to happen. Right? The pizza guy is gonna bring your pizza, not your dream. And I think you put everything into a beautiful book called Success Unwrapped. And you’re offering a free chapter at shannonferraby.com

Shannon Ferraby [13:39]
That’s right.

Christine Schlonski [13:40]
Yeah. So I’m just going to put the, the link in the in the resources for that podcast, so people can have a look and be inspired. What are the other four steps? So one is showing up.

Shannon Ferraby [13:55]
Hmm, well, the first one is what I like to call a gimme. Because I think when people are really struggling, believing in themselves, anything that has a list of things to do, it’s tempted to say too long, too much can’t do it. And then they don’t try. So number one is just wake up that if you wake up and your eyes open, and you’ve been blessed with another day, that’s step one, wake up and be grateful that you’ve got a clean slate, and you can try again. And then you can say, all right, there’s only four more steps already. And then step two is to get up. Because women, especially sometimes just putting your feet on the floor is the hardest thing you’re going to have to do all day taking the covers off and putting your feet on the floor. It’s not easy. But it’s our body’s way of saying I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it. And so that’s number two is get up. And then number three is show up. And that is where we leave the house. That is where we recognize that that self-pity and that isolation is a fertilizer for the lies we’re listening to. And we’re not going to take it anymore. We’re going to show up for life. And we’re going to surround ourselves with good things and good people. And then the next one is build others up. Because again, as I mentioned earlier, I found that as I was pouring into others, and helping them believe in themselves, it was just coming right back to help me believe in myself, as I recognize that just giving someone else What they need is value. And and so that’s number four. And then the fifth one is never give up. Because all of these things are wonderful. But they don’t stop life from happening. And that means that you’re still going to have bad days. And you’re still going to have obstacles to face. And you have to have the the will to say, you know, I’m gonna let myself cry. That’s all right. And yeah, maybe today. I’ll sleep in a little longer than yesterday. But I’m still getting up. And I’m still showing up. And I’m not going to give up.

Christine Schlonski [15:56]
Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I think what’s so important for people to understand. So when we are the situation, we feel like, it’s only us, right, everybody else around us is doing great. It’s only us just seeing that everybody’s going through struggles. We might not see that but they all have their challenges that they need to overcome, on their way to success on their way to designing the life they want to live. So I think it’s really, really helpful to to teach people that, you know, just by waking up and getting out of bed,that’s like, that’s could be the hardest part during the day, right. And once you already conquered that, then there’s only a few more steps to do.

Shannon Ferraby [16:50]
That’s right. That’s right. And that’s one of the things I love. We were talking a little bit about Bob Burg, and John David Mann’s book, The Go-Giver, but when it talks about the law of authenticity and showing up as your true self. You know, that’s one of the things that I love the most about that is that we, I find, especially in today’s social media, we paint a picture of ourselves, that is not true, we only post the good photos, we only share the positive stories. And I’m certainly not implying that we should be all woe is me on social media, either. I’m all about letting the sunshine and I want people to see good things. And I want to stay positive. But I also want to stay true to who I am. And I want people to know that it’s okay to be who you really are. And your authentic self, because that’s, that’s who the world needs. We don’t need another one of someone else we need you. And and that means that some days are hard. And some struggles are things you’re going through at the moment, we can help each other go through those things. So yeah,

Christine Schlonski [17:50]
and I think that’s an inspiration as well. Because if I can see that, it’s not just me, other people have been there, then I also can ask for help, I can reach out.

Shannon Ferraby [18:01]
True because it’s terrifying to reach out to people who you think are perfect. Yeah, that’s a really scary thing to do. But if you feel like they can relate to you, then you’re much more comfortable saying, Hey, I think maybe you went through something similar. How did you get to where you are? How did you overcome this? And they probably have some very practical tips that they can share.

Christine Schlonski [18:23]
Yeah, yeah. So you mentioned earlier when you were like, in the dark times, you had just started to to work in direct sales. So I’m quite sure that a lot of people listening who also are in direct sales, or who might play this the idea or I’m sure everybody had some kind of interaction with the direct sales space. What would be your biggest advice in regards to actually selling one of those products, no matter if it’s in the house area or four beauty or what whatever. What can people do to be authentic when they promote their product? And also to actually be successful and make money?

Shannon Ferraby [19:13]
Mm hmm. Well, you know, I was thinking about that, when I was looking through some of the some of the possible things we might discuss. And one of the things that you mentioned was, how did you get over the rejection of no, and I thought, you know, I don’t think that I ever had to get over the rejection of No. And the reason is, because my focus from the very beginning was never to try and make a sale, my focus was never to try and make money. And so because I, from the very beginning, for whatever reason, intuitively really wanted to just help women to help provide something if they didn’t want it, if it wasn’t going to benefit them I wasn’t upset by that. And I feel like that has really carried through in every area for me, and direct sale. So really, the number one thing is when you put your focus on, can you truly help this person in some way? If you can’t, then there’s no reason to feel rejected. And because you’re focusing on that your sales are naturally going to be higher when they see that you care about them. So it just flows so beautifully when you just put yourself in a place of what can we do for you, and how can I help you? And if it’s not with me, that’s okay, how can I help you in another way? And and that all just comes right back to a sales opportunity when it works. And when it’s right.

Christine Schlonski [20:44]
Yeah, yeah, I think in direct sales, it’s a beautiful industry. But it does have some challenges because people not doing it in the right way. They, they, they are coming from that needy place, like I have the sale or, you know, I need to do this to get to my next level. And they forget about the people they’re talking to. So I had some interesting experiences in past where people just, you know, jump on you with their products, and you feel like, they don’t care who you are. And it’s not just a direct industry. I mean, that’s basically everybody who does sales in a wrong way, they weren’t authentic they just go for that sale. And what have you experienced in the industry, especially with looking at really successful people? What are they doing differently?

Shannon Ferraby [21:37]
Really successful people, I find, they’re not afraid to share what they have to offer, you know, they are, they’re happy to talk to you and take time with you. And I think that they tend to be a little bit better at relating with people. They’re giving time to talk and not just about their product, but about your children or your vacation or your they’re good at asking questions. That’s something I noticed people that are good in the sales industry are good at asking questions. And they’re better listeners than they typically are talkers and the people that you are explaining the ones that maybe came at you a little bit like vultures, they’re just talking, you know, in fact, sometimes they’re shouting and immediately most on the receiving end of that will just shut down. I don’t care what you’re selling if you’re going to talk to me like that I don’t want it. But the most successful people they asked questions and then they listen to the answers, and then they if they can provide something that will meet a need for that other person.

Christine Schlonski [22:44]
Yeah. And that’s so true for no matter what to sell, if she can fulfill the need, then just stop going forward. Right?

Shannon Ferraby [22:51]
Absolutely. And that doesn’t mean that relationship stops, the relationship can continue because you might be able to connect them to someone else who can fulfill a need in the end that all winds up coming back to us. Because later, you know, maybe they needed mascara. I don’t sell makeup, I can’t help them with that. But if I know somebody that does, and I connect them, and we keep this relationship going later, when they need what I sell, or they know someone else that does, they’ll think of me and they’ll say: Hey, you know what, my friend Shannon sells such and such, let me get you connected with her. It all just comes back around when we care about people instead of our own results.

Christine Schlonski [23:28]
Yeah, that’s a nice saying, What goes around comes around.

Shannon Ferraby [23:32]
Sure, it started for some good reason, didn’t it?

Christine Schlonski [23:34]
I took my a while to get it. My host mom when I was an exchange student in the US always used to say that. And so it took me a while to get the whole concept. But I think it’s a it’s a beautiful concept. So when we approach our businesses, our lives in that way than we are actually able to, to give more and when we are giving more we received more.

Shannon Ferraby [24:04]
Absolutely.

Christine Schlonski [24:05]
Would you agree that it starts with the giving?

Shannon Ferraby [24:09]
I do agree that it starts as a giving. I think that often people go about it backward, because they are desperate to see results quickly. And they don’t necessarily trust that if they go about it the other way, they’ll see what they’re looking for. But if you took two people and you had one going about it with giving first and another going about it was just trying to take this one will wind up being ahead in the receiving department as well. So yes, when you give you wind up receiving as long as you’re open to it, you know, there are times when people have a really difficult time accepting something back. And so that’s a whole another whole another discussion. But But as long as you’re open to it, yes, the receiving comes and you stand back and go, Wow, how did I get to this place from giving from helping others?

Christine Schlonski [25:03]
Wow, that’s beautiful. That’s a wonderful to kind of wrap up the session. And I would love to to explore more like the trust part. And the receiving part was the next interview so people can actually find you on your homepage, where you also have a free chapter to your Success Unwrapped book which kind of takes people to the story, can you can you share a couple of words with us what this is about?

Shannon Ferraby [25:34]
Sure. Well, Success Unwrapped is really my story of how to succeed in direct sales is really what it is. So any sales person could benefit from it. But it takes them a to z through all of the different things that I’ve learned over the past nine years in this industry, everything from customer care and follow up. But a lot of personal things as well about giving and about being yourself and being authentic. And so it’s all kind of woven in, throughout that and the big picture, in the end, is that when you give yourself and all of these different ways A to Z, what happens in the end is you unwrap your success.

Christine Schlonski [26:12]
Yeah. So when when people need to go to to get that free chapter.

Shannon Ferraby [26:17]
To get the free chapter. If they just head right to www.shannonferrabycom they can see on the homepage, where to access that free chapter.

Christine Schlonski [26:29]
Okay, wonderful. Well, thank you so much for your wisdom. And I just I just love the the light and they approach you found to support so many people. So thank you so much.

Shannon Ferraby [26:39]
Thank you so much for having me. It’s been a real pleasure.

Christine Schlonski [26:43]
I just love Shannon story that is so true. We are telling ourselves lies and sometimes way too often and beating us up in our minds and telling us that we might be good enough or worth enough or whatever it is. So especially in sales, it is so important to see your own value. And to really go for all you’ve got and to shine your light so other people can see you. I have put all of the information for you to connect the Shannon on christineschlonski.com, make sure you hop on over to the show notes and all the resources we are sharing as well as a podcast episode. And there’s also the opportunity for you to subscribe to my Empowerment Notes. This is a weekly newsletter where I share amazing free content with you to empower you on your journey. So hop on over to christineschlonski.com and I’m so happy you’ve been here today. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in this beautiful world. and tune in to the next episode where we continue the amazing conversation with Shannon. Have a wonderful day and bye for now.