020 How to better self-talk – variety Friday with Christine Schlonski


Welcome to variety Friday with your host Christine Schlonski, known as The Queen of the Sales-Success-Mindset,  a multi-talented leader in the field of Sales-Success-Mindset, Motivation, and Strategies.
Helping you to enjoy the sales process and to make offers with ease, grace, and confidence.




Subscribe to Heart Sells!

Apple | Google | Spotify | Stitcher | Soundcloud | iHeart | Facebook

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Webinar: The one thing that you are already doing, but you are not aware of, that can turn your sales around and how you can use this element in your business to transform your conversations & convert your prospects into happy paying clients NOW.

The Success Library, gain instant access to the Sales Journaling Prompts and start shifting your mindset today.

3 Key Points:

  • Most of the time people have negative self-talk going on, which influences our feeling and our actions and therefore our results.
  • To have a different outcome you need to change the way you think, you need to make it better and more supporting.
  • Thoughts have a dynamic. Say out loud something negative and feel into it. Then tell yourself something positive and feel into it. Can you feel the difference?

Show Notes:

[01:14] Join the upcoming webinar where we cover: The one thing that you are already doing, but you are not aware of, that can turn your sales around.
[03:17 ]So what’s self-talk?
[07:08] So if it’s a fearful thought, it’s gonna be a fearful emotion, and with fearful emotion, you probably will have a fearful action you take or something you don’t take, which wasn’t an opportunity you didn’t go for.
[12:14] When you are in a scarcity mindset, you probably go for every person on the planet (meaning you don’t qualify your clients to make sure you only have the perfect clients to work with)
[13:20] When you know who your ideal client and you know everything about them, you can connect on such a deep level that it is already fun.
[14:39] It’s not your decision to make if they buy from you or not.
[15:35] Exercise for your next sales conversation 😉 

For FULL Transcript click here:

Read Full Transcript, click here:

Christine Schlonski [0:02]
Hi Gorgeous, This is episode number 020 with your host Christine Schlonski and you are listening to Heart Sells! podcast. I am so grateful you’re here. I’m so grateful you’re spending your time tuning into Heart Sells! Podcast, and I’m really proud that we are already at Episode 20. I hope you have gotten a lot out of it so far with all these amazing speakers and guests on the podcast, sharing their wisdom as well as variety Friday.

Christine Schlonski [0:37]
And today is another variety Friday. Variety Friday is when I share resources, answer your questions, or just talk about important things around sales that I have learned in my sales career of over a decade in high-ticket event sales over the phone, talking to General Managers, CEOs, Owners of companies, to sell them a very high-ticket event and to yeah, invite them to an opportunity.

Christine Schlonski [1:14]
So what I wanna touch today is, first of all, I want to invite you to my upcoming the webinar, you want to check that out at christineschlonski.com. This is also the page where you find all the show notes, all the podcast episodes really, really cool tweetables the transcript of the podcast and the webinar is around the one element, the one thing that you are already doing, but you are not aware of, that can turn your sales around. So you do want to tune in, it’s going to be amazing. I have had that webinar in the past, and people just love the value they have received. So I’m inviting you to join at christineschlonski.com.

Christine Schlonski [2:04]
So today for variety Friday, I’m not answering a question. And I’m kind of sharing a resource, a resource of how to think in a better way. And it all starts with our self-talk. So today’s topic is actually self-talk. And I don’t know if you’re aware of the fact but most people do have negative self-talk going on all of the time, which does influence their outlook in life, which influences their actions, and that influences their results. So if you are struggling in an area of your life, you really want to make sure that you have a look at your self talk to make sure that you are having being a better conversation. Because I can tell you right now, you probably are sabotaging yourself and keeping yourself away from success because your self-talk is negative.

Christine Schlonski [3:17]
So what’s self talk? Well, we are all aware of the fact that we are permanently having thoughts and these thoughts are kind of coming in a dialogue with our self, like: Oh, I like that! or That’s pretty! or Well, I don’t know…. should I be wearing these shoes today? I’m not quite sure what kind of look was that this person just gave me? So you having the self-talk going on or if somebody tells you: Well, we really need to talk! Then what’s going on in your mind? Is it like, oh, what did I wrong? I wonder what this is about? You know, that you kind of having a fearful reaction that it could be negative? Or is it like, yeah, cool. So my boss is calling me into the office, I wonder if I’m getting, you know, my next career move presented?, or If I’m actually getting a pay raise?, or whatever it is, right. So usually, we do have a default reaction that is not very positive, because we are not excited, we are more fearful and afraid that something bad might happen in the conversation.

Christine Schlonski [4:46]
So all our belief system like depends obviously on where we raced, what our parents believed, what our teachers believed, the friends we’re hanging out with, and it’s all formed at around the age of seven. And then what happens and unfortunately, a lot of the stuff goes into the subconscious. So we are judging situations on a level of experience we are having, or that we took on from our parents, for example, and we talked about that in the variety Friday where I dove into the P.O.W.E.R. System, I believe that was the second variety Friday we had that should be than episode number six. So where we actually spoke about the beliefs and the belief system, and you know, where the beliefs are coming from, from the past in regards to sales and that also sometimes you have beliefs that you do, didn’t even come up with. Somebody else passed on to you, and you just took them in as your truth. So it’s really, really important that you make sure that the right thoughts are coming into your mind. Because all successful people, wherever they are in the world, whatever they do with whatever they are successful, they have good self-talk. And I’m quite sure they’re all improving all the time as well.

Christine Schlonski [6:29]
So today, I want to really get your attention around the self-talk. Because if you are not in your life, where you want to be, it is probably your self-talk, the thoughts you allowing in your head, that sabotage you because every event that happens in your life, no matter what it is, is actually something neutral, it just happened. But then you give the event thought you the event a meaning, and that thought produces an emotion. And that emotion produces an action. So if it’s a fearful thought, it’s gonna be a fearful emotion, and with fearful emotion, you probably will have a fearful action you take or something you don’t take, which wasn’t an opportunity you didn’t go for.

Christine Schlonski [7:27]
And then when you think about it positive, do you feel wonderful. So the positive thought gives you wonderful emotions. And these wonderful emotions obviously lead to different actions than a fearful thought. So really have a look at where you are sabotaging your self because that’s what it all comes down to. And we can actually train our thoughts, we can make sure that we only think the best thoughts we can come up with. And so that thought basically will determine how we feel. And then it’s kind of a habit as well. So we have our default reactions, and we have our things that get triggered and then we always stay kind of in that loop. Which means if we don’t change our thoughts, we will not have a different outcome.

Christine Schlonski [8:30]
So let’s just go to the practical part and see it in a sales conversation that you are having. So you could be the person that’s totally excited. That is, so looking forward to the conversation that just can’t wait to work with the client that already knows, well, if I get to talk to the person, I am quite sure they will work with me and then we can create amazing things. So that’s actually one kind of person. But maybe you are the other kind of a person that goes like: Well, I’m not quite sure if they want to book. I’m not quite sure if I have what they need. I’m not quite sure if they like me enough to pay that much money. So you see, it’s like it’s a total different energy that you have. And I actually created sales journaling prompts. And I’m just going to give you some examples. So you can see what you might be saying to yourself, and how you can turn it around.

Christine Schlonski [9:39]
So you could say what sales is hard! Okay, if you believe it strongly enough, I’m quite sure it will be. And you could just shift that and say, well: I now start to believe that sales is a lot of fun and can be super easy. You see just sitting down and have those thoughts. Maybe you want to repeat in your head with me: Sales is hard! Did you feel that? Now versus: I now decide, or start to believe that sales, can be a lot of fun and super easy! It’s a whole different dynamic. And the event is the same, you having a conversation with a potential client, but how you view it makes a difference in the world.

Christine Schlonski [10:33]
So maybe you have some thoughts around your client, like maybe you think, well, What happens if they are not as awesome as I would like them to be? What happens if I offer them something, and they don’t want it, because they don’t need it? So like this is kind of fearful thinking? How about you think: Well, my ideal clients because that’s the only kind of clients you’re going for, right? My ideal clients are super awesome, no matter what I offer them, they wanted it, they need it, they buy it! See it’s a different dynamic.

Christine Schlonski [11:15]
And then you can also say: Well, I always have such a great service to my clients. Because you want to make sure that you are of the best service to your clients. I’m making offers this confidence! Why not tell yourself you making offers as confidence, then at least you give yourself permission to do. So you could also say what sales always sucks. And it’s like, super hard for me, I’m just not a good salesperson. Well, you know what, that will be the truth. If you believe it, your clients will believe it. So you could say: Well, I now enjoy sales and it’s super easy for me. I decide that I’m now a great salesperson and I make offers that are aligned to my core, right? Different dynamic.

Christine Schlonski [12:14]
And also, when you are in a scarcity mindset, you probably go for every person on the planet. Being really aware of who you want to serve, is crucial to your success. Sit down, write out your ideal client avatar, like the person you would love to work with. And this is so super counterintuitive, and it took me a long time to wrap my head around it when I learned about it years ago that I had to be super specific on one person I wanted to serve. And once I got that down, surprisingly, these people came into my life. And there was more than one person. So they have different names. And you know, maybe you put like an age and they are a year older or younger, that doesn’t really matter. What I’m trying to say is, if you’re really, really clear, and you have that self-talk that I attract my ideal client, and then you know who your ideal client is, your ideal client has a name, you know what they do, you know what they feel, you know that age, you know the hobby. So if you know everything about them, you can connect on such a deep level that it is already fun. So just allow yourself to enjoy that more! Right? My job or your job, in this case, is just to make an offer. The job of your client is to decide if this offer moves them forward and if they want to go for it. So you probably tuned in to episode number 17 of last variety Friday, where we talked about letting go of the outcome, not of the goal but of the outcome. If you haven’t, go back to episode number 17 and listen in.

Christine Schlonski [14:20]
So another good thing to say to yourself is, I always let go of the outcome, I’m not attached to what the client decides on my offer, the goal is still you want to serve them, you want to take them to the next level if they qualify. But it’s not your decision to make if they buy from you or not.

Christine Schlonski [14:46]
So selling from my heart makes the client want to buy from me! I really love this one. Because you know, selling from your head, just thinking about the money piece, or like how you can grow your business will have a lack in energy when you are in a conversation with your ideal client. So if you connect your head and your heart, you will be much … well, you will be much better in making these offers with confidence.

Christine Schlonski [15:20]
So I think I gave you quite some good ideas today about how to change your self-talk, it’s really important that you are aware of all the thoughts you are thinking. So I’m just going to give you an exercise you can do.

Christine Schlonski [15:35]
When you are in your next sales conversation please try to observe your self-talk. What’s going on? Are you judging the person? Are you trying to figure out if they’re able to pay you? And how they could pay you? Are you trying to figure out what kind of offer you’re going to make? Like, where are you in your thoughts? And after the conversation, just sit down and take notes. And you know, after the fifth client, you maybe you realize some patterns. Maybe you see where you really need to change your thinking. And maybe you’re judging of the other person. And please understand, I’ve been I’ve been guilty of that in the past. So I’m It was really some work to get myself to a place where I was able just to be present and open to the possibility that the client, if it’s my ideal, the client books. Not to judge them not to, like judge them where they are, where they are not, why they are maybe we go why they haven’t done x, y that just being present and really helping the client see the value you are giving. And you can do that when you have a really great self talk. Right when you go into the conversation and you know I am here to serve that person, I am going to stay in the present. I’m going to give my best in this conversation so they see what I have to offer and they can choose to work with me.

Christine Schlonski [17:22]
Do you feel how that already changes the whole energy when you say that out loud. So please do yourself the favor right down after each sales conversation at least for the five conversations that are coming up next and obviously, you can continue that to 10, 15, 20 really see if there is a pattern. And if you see a pattern make a change in your thinking.

Christine Schlonski [17:49]
I’m so grateful that you are here. I so appreciate you and I’m so excited about your amazing sales journey and I would love to know how you are creating your dreams. Make sure you leave a review and give the podcast a rating. Leave some comments and also if you have any questions or comments you want to share with me personally write me an email at info@christineschlonski.com, info@christineschlonski.com and christineschlonski.com is the homepage where you find the show notes, the transcript, the tweetables, amazing magazine covers style designs for all the speakers so you can share this your community if you wanted to. Just have a look and sign up for the webinar. The webinar is going to give you a lot of amazing free content and I can show you how you could take it further if you wanted to. And what you can do right now. Like right after watching the webinar now to feel much better about sales and to really go for your sales with confidence and fun because sales is fun and sales is love. Thank you so much for tuning in. Have a wonderful day wherever you are in the world. And I’m looking forward for you to tune in to the next episode saying bye for now.

Like and Follow Heart Sells! Podcast:

  • https://www.facebook.com/HeartSellsPodcast
  • https://christineschlonski.com
  • https://instagram.com/christine.schlonski
  • https://www.facebook.com/IamChristineSchlonski/
  • https://twitter.com/newsalesmindset
  • https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOk7tVeHsgaoyJnV9iJfRTg

Heart Sells! Resources:
Empowered by your Sales-Success!

The Success Library, gain instant access to the Sales Journaling Prompts and start shifting your mindset into a Sales-Success-Mindset today

The Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass #2, a teaching series of 18 amazing experts giving their advice on Sales | Mindset |  Money | Wealth Creation

Empowerment Notes, Join the Empowerment Notes our weekly newsletter and I’ll make sure you have all the info you need to be empowered.


Related Articles


  1. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and
    wished to mention that I have really loved browsing your blog posts.

    In any case I’ll be subscribing on your feed and I
    am hoping you write again very soon!

  2. Howdy I am so thrilled I found your webpage, I really
    found you by accident, while I was searching on Yahoo for
    something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would
    just like to say thanks for a incredible post and a all round exciting blog
    (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the
    minute but I have book-marked it and also added
    in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much
    more, Please do keep up the great b.

  3. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed
    to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Appreciate it

  4. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The words in your article seem to be running off the screen in Firefox.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
    The layout look great though! Hope you get the problem solved soon.

  5. Great blog here! Also your website rather a lot up very fast!

    What host are you the usage of? Can I get your affiliate link in your host?
    I want my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  6. I’ve been browsing online greater than three hours today, yet I
    by no means found any fascinating article like yours.
    It is beautiful value enough for me. In my view, if all site owners
    and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the net might be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  7. Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a totally different subject but it
    has pretty much the same page layout and design. Excellent choice
    of colors!

  8. I will immediately snatch your rss as I can’t to find your email subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly let me understand in order that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  9. Howdy this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if
    you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to
    get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  10. I have been surfing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting
    article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all
    webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever

  11. I loved as much as you will receive carried out
    right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case
    you shield this hike. natalielise plenty of fish

  12. Hello! I know this is kind of off topic but I was
    wondering if you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one?
    Thanks a lot!

  13. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this sort of space .
    Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site.
    Reading this information So i am satisfied to express that I have a
    very good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed.
    I such a lot indubitably will make certain to
    do not fail to remember this website and give it a look regularly.

  14. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any
    widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my
    newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time
    and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

    plenty of fish natalielise

  15. With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems
    of plagorism or copyright infringement? My site has a lot of unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it
    up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any ways to help
    stop content from being ripped off? I’d certainly
    appreciate it.

  16. Admiring the time and energy you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.

    It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same
    outdated rehashed material. Fantastic read!
    I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    natalielise pof

  17. Whats up are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to
    the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any html coding expertise to make your own blog?

    Any help would be really appreciated!

  18. I’ve been surfing online more than three hours these
    days, but I by no means found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty value enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made just right content material as you
    probably did, the net shall be much more helpful than ever before.

  19. I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for.
    Do you offer guest writers to write content for you? I wouldn’t mind
    composing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write about here.
    Again, awesome blog!

  20. My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on numerous websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform.
    I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there
    a way I can import all my wordpress posts into
    it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  21. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this,
    like you wrote the book in it or something. I think
    that you can do with some pics to drive the message home
    a bit, but instead of that, this is excellent
    blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.

  22. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Spending some
    time and actual effort to create a great article…
    but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t
    manage to get nearly anything done.

  23. I am curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be using?
    I’m having some minor security issues with my latest website and I’d like to find something more risk-free.

    Do you have any suggestions?

  24. May I just say what a relief to find a person that truly understands what they are discussing
    on the internet. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it
    important. More people ought to look at this and understand this side of your
    story. I was surprised that you are not more popular because you surely possess the gift.

  25. After looking into a few of the blog articles on your web site, I honestly appreciate
    your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark webpage
    list and will be checking back in the near future.
    Please visit my web site as well and tell me
    what you think.

  26. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like
    you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do
    with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that,
    this is magnificent blog. An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

Leave a Reply

Join the FREE Sales Mentality Makeover Masterclass
Spiritual & Practical Steps to Increase Your Sales and Create True Wealth Without Losing Your Authenticity.